My Stuffs

Noah // 26 // Fucking Nerd // Utah // Rogue of Time

[pizza-and-ramen]

Visit Original Link

I’M FUCKING DYING THIS IS HILARIOUS

[rowan-e-ravenwood]

new top contender

[luetta]

abortion clicker early game : you click the belly 50 times in order to perform one abortion. this lets you buy a doctor who performs 0.1 abortions a second.

abortion clicker mid game: you own hundreds of clinics as well as think-tanks which dismantle sex ed courses as well as politicians which strengthen pro choice institutions

abortion clicker late game: the solar system’s resources have been stripped to build a dyson sphere which incubates trillions of humans for the sole purpose of performing abortions on them. once we achieve hyperspace travel, other stars will power superintelligent machines which will simulate octillions of abortion a second

[spel16]

[sailermoon]

the beautiful cycle of being a daughter

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[ohholydyke]

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

[amorphousgenderlesscryptid]

I'm sure that's true, but something tells me googling "nun tied up by other nuns" "hot wax" "confessing sins" will likely get what you might call rather un-academic results

[normaloperafan]

[lilyblisslys]

the main trick to dancing at a goth club is:

1. Imagine you’re a powerful wizard

2. Imagine you’re channeling mana for one of your strongest spells

[lilyblisslys]

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

[nudityandnerdery]

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

[madfishmonger]

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring

[luna-azzurra]

Something neuroscience-y that helps with prose: attention is selective. A character will not notice everything in a room. They will notice what matters to their goal, fear, desire, training, wound, or obsession. A jealous character notices hands. a hungry character notices food. A soldier notices exits. A lonely character notices pairs. Description becomes character when attention has a bias.

[kirbyofthestars]

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

[kirbyofthestars]

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

[kirbyofthestars]

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

[kirbyofthestars]

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

[depsidase]

[lopkelepke]

[in-libris-liberta-s-deactivated]

Just finished hamlet & had to share THIS

[iamnmbr3]

btw this is literally what goes down. it’s great. 

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

You just know the ye olde peasants went NUTS at that last part

[punkitt-is-here]

if you are a queer earring maker at a queer friendly event you should have clipons and ADVERTISE THEM you will make SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY there are SO MANY CUTE TRANS GIRLS who want to try your earrings but don't have pierced ears!!!!!! I repeat YOU WILL MAKE SO MUCH MONEY IF YOU DO THIS

[punkitt-is-here]

genuinely I have sold a couple runs of earrings now and I can provide solid evidence that advertising that clipons even exist as an option literally tripled my sales

[deramin2]

And please if you have the options, get traditional screw backs without a hinged clip. Everything with a clip works by squeezing your ear as hard as it can. Screw backs let you manually tighten it enough that they won’t slip off, but no further, and are much more comfortable for longer periods of time. They seem to be dying out, though, and increasingly hard to get.

[tajrishgp]

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

[crabussy]

doxxing myself. I’m on a boat in the middle of the big blue sea near some islands and dolphins and other random nonsense

[mrsandman42069]

-28.531560,175.309976

[crabussy]

DUDE

[ganondorf]

i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way

[tedcruzisthezodiackiller]

[hellsite-yano]

definitely one of the weirder DNI criteria I've come across

[extremenegativeforce-deactivate]

SLUTS

[clusterduck28]

DNI if you think that reblogging before marriage is okay

[sour-echinacea]

where do people get energy from