pizza fish 🍕🐟

I make little drawings and stuff and whatever I like at the moment

[byjove]

stepmom forums are so abysmal, you know if these ladies lived 500 years ago they’d be like “I need to find a way to render my husband’s first marriage invalid so his his first wife’s children are deemed illegitimate and struck from the line of succession in favor of my own children” but it is 2026 and the inheritance the children get is not a kingdom but a dad that sucks ass

[yuurei]

spraypainted cursed hamtaro from 3 years ago revisited. and the abandoned factory where hamtaro resides.

[anglaised]

not fully related but thats also y when i see yall on here like “awww i wish we had purple people or people with horns or people with neon green eyes….💔” im like. yall cant even handle black people…yall cant even handle caring about people like 5 shades darker than you….u want the world to be ‘whimsical’ or whatever yet ur completely fine with white supremacy 😭 evil ass individuals u cant handle a cyclops or a fairy u cant even handle hip hop!!!!

[mrsterlingeverything]

I will do anything to be free

[longnuts]

Even escape?

[mrsterlingeverything]

I dont know. Can i do that

[briannyssey]

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

[briannyssey]

🥺🥺

[pukicho]

I have a pair of oven mitts that simply do not work. You wear them and your hand still gets burned through the mitt. What sort of clown hell world are we living in?

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[sensetenou]

Canon in Spanish AGAIN???

[being-of-rain]

eventually New Who will become Middle Period Who

[mizucanbite]

Please, life, give me at least a drop of dopamine

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[jazzy-officia1]

PROPAGANDA PROPAGANDA

WIN THE RACE, VOTE GRACE

[helenvleithkin]

“The average person kidnaps 3 scientists a year" factoid is actualy just statistical error.

Eva Stratt, who lives in a boat & kidnaps several laboratories worth each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[historia-is-a-cool-name]

Eva Stratt for tumblr sexywoman 2027

[sentient-brassiere]

@pukicho pregnant bc he didn’t wish my gf a happy vacation!!!🤬🤬🤬

[pukicho]

This has to be considered some form of bullying