Please Don't Squeeze the Grey Matter

Another half-assed attempt at blogging, which will probably have been abandoned for years by the time you discover it.

[oakh4rt]

if yo gurl look like this she a keeper

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[serpentking456]

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

[bransonreese]

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

[severepaperhideout-deactivated2]

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))

[bransonreese]

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

[rudolph-the-rednosed-reinqueer]

There👏🏼 are👏🏼 different👏🏼 types👏🏼 of👏🏼 sharks👏🏼

[bransonreese]

and 👏 they’re 👏 all 👏 smooth👏

[existentialismandmakeup]

I think about this post a lot

[paulftompkins]

BRANSON IS THE GREATEST

[askmrtorgue]

SOMEBODY HELP WHEN DO I STOP SPELLING CHIAHUAHUAHUAHUA

[spyroid101]

Wait...

Does…

Does that say…?

[tabletop-rpgs]

David Eddings, (the voice of Claptrap not the author) plays Dungeons and Dragons. His current character is a mage named Eddie Wizard.

[justshepardthings]

[img src]

JST: getting breast implants in-between games.

[pleasedontsqueezethegreymatter]

Jesus, Miranda, what part of “exactly like she was before” did you not understand?

[thedailyshow]

Hasan Minhaj on people who support Donald Trump despite his bigotry.

[memorian]

Ghostbusters Halloween Appreciation Post

[kvtiemcgrv]

This is why versatile female representation in the media is important!

[pleasedontsqueezethegreymatter]

LOOK AT ALL THESE RUINED CHILDHOODS

LOOK AT THEM

[askmrtorgue]

THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT WORD FOR D*CKS THE INTERNET IS AMAZING

[jaimejames]

[nerdistindustries]

We all just assumed we’d know when the time came. But This is a valid question…

[pleasedontsqueezethegreymatter]

[beesmygod]

this site is fucking useless

[askmrtorgue]

ANNOUNCING #F*CKYEAH2016!!!!!!!

MRAOOOW-MAOW-MAOW-RAORWWWWWWW

AIR GUITAR.

NOW THAT YOU’RE PUMPED AS F*CK, IT’S TIME TO ANNOUNCE THE MOST BADASS USE OF THE INTERNET SINCE CAT MEMES.

WE ARE DOING THIS. SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND GET SOME BULLET POINTS!!!!

WHAT THE F*CK IS #F*CKYEAH2016!? IT’S A BADASS HOLIDAY WHERE EVERYONE POSTS THEIR BEST G*DDAMN SELFIE SHOWING HOW MUCH ASS THEY KICK, AND WE BEAT THE INTERNET RIGHT IN THE D*CK WITH OUR AWESOMENESS

BUT AWESOMENESS ISN’T A WORD F*CK YOU NEXT QUESTION

WHEN IS THIS GREATEST OF DAYS? MAY 13TH, 2016 THAT IS THIS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE AWESOME!? ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS MAKE A POST WITH THE FOLLOWING:

A SELFIE OF YOU LOOKING TOTALLY F*CKING AWESOME DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE. MAKE IT INTENSE AS SH*T

ADD A COMMENT ABOUT WHAT MAKES YOU A G*DDAMN BADASS

TAG THAT SH*T WITH #F*CKYEAH2016

END OF LIST.

ALL DAY LONG, I’M GOING TO BE  FINDING AS MANY BADASS SELFIES AS I CAN, AND PUTTING THEM ON MY BLOG!!!!

BUT MR. TORGUE, NOTHING I DO IS BADASS ENOUGH TO BE ON A PART OF YOU SHUT THE F*CK UP RIGHT NOW AND START TAKING SELFIES, BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS BADASS IF YOU DO IT WITH CONVICTION.

KNIT A SWEATER, FIGHT A BEAR, PROGRAM A CODE, EAT A STEAK, SING A SONG OR DO A G*DDAMN COSPLAY I DO NOT GIVE A SH*T AS LONG AS YOU ARE BEING A BADASS ABOUT IT!!!!! DO NOT FORGET TO ADD A COMMENT ABOUT HOW F*CKING GREAT YOU ARE!!!

A WHOLE DAY OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON STANDING UP AND SHOUTING “NO, F*CK YOU, I’M COOL AS F*CK!”!!!!!

AND WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE IN THE TAG, YOU REBLOG THE F*CK OUTTA THEIR ASSES BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME!

#F*CKYEAH2016!!!!!! 

[pleasedontsqueezethegreymatter]

I recently started a new job at Amazon.com. People who were around for the holiday season last year all have T-shirts that say “I SURVIVED PEAK ‘15″ and I’m like, yeah, obviously, but what I really want to know is what did you do after defeating Benezia like did you let the rachni queen live or what

[inevitablejeb]

Me too IGN

[ourvaluedcustomers]

Regarding the internet’s negative reaction to the STAR WARS: ROGUE ONE trailer…

http://ourvaluedcustomers.blogspot.com/

#‎OVCTheFinal50‬ 21/50

[hiitsmekevin]

[tikeeeeseeee]

THESE WOMEN KILLED IT TONIGHT!! @sashabankswwe

[pleasedontsqueezethegreymatter]

Match of the night.

[imperatoralicia]

“Is that the kind of person we want protecting the galaxy?”