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Keni

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@pleaseseemeibeg
I'll never understand why "they didn't get enough attention as a child" is an insult like. If you think about it it's low-key victim shaming?? children deserve to get love and attention and a lot of attention-seeking behaviour as a result of childhood neglect or personality disorders are often demonized instead of understood or sympathized with
having quiet bpd is having people say "you don't seem like you have bpd" and then when you actually exhibit the symptoms of bpd they assume you're a horrible person and just doing it for the sake of it
need to get back into lucid dreaming so I can feel loved again guys had a dream with a character I selfship with where I actually FELT his heartbeat and body heat and I'm afraid I shall be chasing that high like a maniac
Me making a oc : i gotta figure out how this one is being tortured
Quiet bpd is dangerous because you feel so much pain and rage inside you but all you can do is take it out on yourself. You don't want to hurt anyone else. You can't bring yourself to be angry with others despite what they do, under the premise that they will hate or leave you.
“I wanna be quiet BPD instead so bad you guys are so lucky”
lol no you don’t. Having ‘quiet’ BPD does not remove the BPD.
In fact it makes people chronically invalidate you even more because you aren’t punching people left and right. Instead you have to sit in your bathroom feeling like you’re dying and that no one will ever come to help or see the real you.
Also everyone moves out of quiet BPD in some situations if they have BPD. The subtypes exist for generalizations and modes not distinct subtypes.
It’s just BPD + intense fear of people seeing you act out
there's nothing I hate more than when you can just FEEL horrible vibes off of someone like they genuinely feel fake as hell but everyone is so attached to them and has nothing but good things to say
like please I can't be the ONLY one who feels like their "kindness" is a complete act or am I actually just that untrusting??
others: what? they don't like me? lol they don't even know me
me: this is the end of my life and I'm going to be panicking about this for days
hey so hearing that people are spreading lies about me just because they don't like me actually feels like I'm being burned alive how can I make that not happen
I've been seeing a lot of people make excuses for shitty behavior and blame it on a disorder, and just an fyi, it's an explanation not an excuse.
just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean that you don't have to work on symptom management. and yeah it fucking sucks. still not an excuse.
I'm an adult the same way a tomato is a fruit
god i regret so much
can we start over
I use humor to cope and I don't wanna hear about how it's not funny. It's not meant to be funny. It's meant to help me. If I didn't laugh at my own trauma I would've lost it a long time ago. Please let me and my morbid sense of humor be.
"personality disorder" is such a wild way to say "this child was not safe"
"are you okay?" absolutely not but i'd rather kill everyone in the room than talk about it
i love myself but i don’t love me back