Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

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@plumshine
Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out
evil therapist: to ground yourself, look around, name 5 things you can kill, and 4 things you can at least maim
AND I'D DO IT AGAIN
… @grison-in-space do you remember what each of the five actions was? I wish to know. For reasons.
"Tell me five things you see that you'd take a chunk out of if you could."
"Gimme four things you can hear that you could silence if you were Godzilla."
"Three things you can touch and feel under your claws that you could rend and tear if you didn't need them tomorrow."
"Can you smell two things that could be chased down and vanquished with your fury?"
And at the time I had forgotten to do a last action, but today I might add "one way your body feels the surge of monstrous urge to destroy." or something similar.
hey, we’ll be ok
late night reminder to self: your depressive episode will not last forever. it will have an end. tonight will not be the end of you.
Hey guess what i saw this a few days ago when i was in an absolutely scary slump and then i spoke to my counsellors and did what they told me to do and now i feel so much better. So this is true. Reblogging for more good luck
why is this so beautiful in like a space way
Because the essence of humanity and life as a whole is a constellation of connections with one another. We are all here in this cosmos together, from the tiniest creatures to the distant stars.
You're not alone.
The road to the childrens’ hospital
@swedishfalcon-actual
I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.
I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(
hnn I WANT IT SO BAD
on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!
IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
now we enter the testing phase
yup. looks good.
Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?
OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement
*roar sound effect*
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help
(secret bonus: the other side of her tag)
There’s more!
I love.
I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!
(just fine)
Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures
Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)
so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.
it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!
ajdhf.
well that’s just,,,
REXCELLENT
two hundred THOUSAND notes???!?!
HELL
YES
HELL
FUCKING
YES.
cry, probably
Reblogging to get you one note closer to crossing the 400k mark!
IT’S TIME
YOU MANIACS. okay, here we go!
HAIL TO THE QUEEN
LONG MAY SHE REIGN!
(she was a skater Rex, she said see you later Rex, she’s finally hit 400k!)
we’re coming to you live from Halloween 2022, where Wexter continues to be ridiculously jawsome!
this year we’re doing a much-beloved character from classic literature, “Dracula with inappropriate straw hat”
thanks everyone, may your weens be hollow and your candy be many!
hey! HEY. it’s Halloween 2023! AND YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT WEXTER IS DRESSED UP AS THIS YEAR.
she’s… (WEXTER! here girl!) she’s a… a…..
she’s a T. Rex.
GOTTEM!
Halloween 2024.
ERASERHEAD BABY.
ohshit
hello from Halloween 2025! it’s been a hell of a year, but it’s okay.
everything will be fine.
Knitted Petticoat (Netherlands, 1880-1910), The Fries Museum.
Made from red and black wool, this knitted petticoat features a ribbed waistband, contrasting vertical stripes on the upper half, and a zigzag pattern on the bottom.
The museum kindly provided a free pattern for this petticoat if you want to knit one for yourself!
.....can Tumblr help with a translation of the pattern. My daughter would love this and I would enjoy knitting it
Dutch knitter here, I'll give a rough translation a try.
The petticoat consists of a waistband, hip part, and bottom part / skirt. Those are the 3 blocks in the diagram. All measurements given seem to be in centimetres for sizes S/M/L. The diagram gives half of the total width of the pieces. So a hip piece for size S is 30 cm high, but 50x2 = 100 cm wide once you've knit it.
it doesn't give a yarn or gauge, just the measurements in cm. It tells you to find the right stitch amount for your yarn based on a gauge swatch.
Start with the hip piece: CO in red the amount of sts you need for the height of the hip piece (30/32/24 cm as per the diagram).
Then knit the hip piece in a wide rib stitch in red: all needles in stockinette sts with red; needles 5 &6 in black are both knit to for a purl ridge. It's an 8 row repeat.
Continue until your hip piece is the desired width +4 cm when slightly stretched.
The skirt is knit in a zigzag pattern. The pattern repeat counts 12 sts, plus 2 sts for the edges. CO in black, 12 times half the amount on ridges on the hip piece. For example, if you have 40 ridges, CO 12 x 20 = 240 sts. In black: knit 2 rows, purl 1 row, knit 1 row.
Make the first zigzag in red: - needle 1: *k1, yo, k4, k3tog, k4, yo, repeat from * - needle 2: purl Repeat these 2 rows a total of 6 times, then add a ridge in black: knit 2 rows, purl 1 row, knit 1 row.
Make 3 zigzags or continue until the skirt portion has the desired length.
The waistband is knit in stockinette. Using black, pick up & knit from the hip piece the amount of sts you need for the correct waistband width (see diagram). Knit stockinette for 3cm, knit 1 row on the wrong side (creating a purl bump ridge on the right side), then knit another 3 cm. Fold over & sew down, leaving a gap to insert the elastic.
Then sew the skirt & hip pieces together, and seam up the sides.
(Hope that made sense!)
Twinkling Stars in Boundless Botanical Progress Pictures
When it comes to DIY, the two most powerful tools in your arsenal are hubris (to get you started), and sunk-cost fallacy (to keep you going). Without these, there's no way you could convince yourself to build a goddamn shelf out of duct tape and laminated cardboard, using more money on materials than what it would have cost you to just buy a better one from goodwill.
Aliens abducting a Paleolithic horse 🐴✨🛸
@elodieunderglass
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