Poet~and~I~bloody~know~it

This blog is a clusterfuck, I don't know what happened. Enjoy it.

[fairycosmos]

do you want to grab dinner with me ? i'll cut my food up a lot but also chew each bite less than expected and finish the whole thing . and order a lot of drinks throughout the meal . i'll say something interesting things , and some boring . afterwards we can walk in the fresh night air and i'll genuinely care about your opinions

[fairycosmos]

my facial structure will not necessarily be beautiful , but something you can appreciate if you look close enough. my body will have a noticeable amout of subcutaneous fat , but i'll look after it as best i can . i'll have some bad personal habits , that i will work on . i have a pleasant singing voice . not overly vocally talented but when i hum , it sounds nice. please ladies gentlemen and everyone else. not all at once

[kaijuno]

[grapnel]

An example of why one should use the Oxford comma.

[sepdet]

LOL. I think they tried to fix it.

Nice try. Still no.

[rivendellrose]

Wake up, babe, a new example of why the Oxford comma is a really good idea just dropped...

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[knives-in-the-dishwater]

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

[taavicleric]

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

[luna-azzurra]

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

[cameoappearance]

Strange women on buses distributing ideas is no basis for a system of artistic motivation

[tomb-mold]

are shows and movies allowed to be subtle and ambiguous anymore..... is that still allowed or does everything have to be a patronizing hand holding session. just wondering

[hobbular]

Friend of mine was submitting a job application and discovered that they REQUIRED a photo:

We’re trying to decide which of these is a better option:

or

[the-quasar-hero]

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

[mycroftrh]

catholic guilt vs protestant belief in your own inherent superiority, fight

[mycroftrh]

wait no I just remembered a few hundred years of history I take this post back

[bananahomo]

[anarchocunt]

[thatdisasterauthor]

I've been slooooowly working on getting the feral cat population in my neighborhood under control, but there's one particular cat I can't catch. I call her Pretty Lady.

Pretty Lady is a grizzled old street cat who was at some point fixed based on the fact her ear was tipped. She has a bizarre face that I'm not sure if it came from genetics or a current health issue, but her eyes are sort of...tilted? I've tried to get a picture of her to show my coworker who used to be a vet, but have not succeeded.

Anyways. She's grizzled. And old. And has started to look a little rough around the edges, so I've been trying harder to catch her to try and get her some vet care.

Pretty Lady refuses to be caught. She's right there for morning snackies when I bring them out, but attempts to interact beyond food are met with serious hisses. The trap in my yard is a joke to her, no matter what food I put inside. And god forbid any of the other neighborhood cats try to come eat the food I give her. That is Not Allowed.

Except! Except!

Pretty Lady has recently acquired a little himbo boyfriend. The boyfriend, who I have named Target because he is orange and has a perfect circle target pattern in his fur, is a wee baby tomcat who is juuuuuust starting to get his cheeks. I have witnessed Target fall out of my shed more than once (it's a one foot drop for reasons I don't understand given it was custom built), seen him startle at falling leaves MULTIPLE times, and seen him have a full on yowling fight with a stick.

Pretty Lady has taught Target to avoid the trap in my yard, shares her food with him, and makes him stand guard while she eats. Target seems incredibly pleased by this arrangement.

I do hope I can eventually catch them both, or at least Target to get him fixed, but in the meantime I am rather enjoying watching this play out.

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[kuttithevangu]

The thing about the moon is maybe you don’t need to write a poem about the moon. The moon’s been done, we’ve discussed it. It’s a coin a mirror an eye a lantern in the darkness. It’s a rock in space. It’s the dang moon we’ve all seen it! Is there something you can notice that’s is more surprising than the moon???

[creekfiend]

[kaijuerotica]

i hate that diet culture means all the tasty drinks everywhere are loaded with stevia now. this isn't even a stance about health, I just think it tastes so fucking bad

[tothechaos]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

[computationalcalculator]

[selfundiagnosed]

[savahnahhallow]

Unrestrained summer fun

[nattousan]

* crazy tire-screeching noises*

[tomfoolerytotality]

Looking back on 2020, I think it's hilarious that Wellerman of all shanties is the one that blew up online. It's not a song about life on the high seas or adventuring

It's the "Where the fuck is my delivery" song

[stevishabitat]

[tomfoolerytotality]

Looking back on 2020, I think it's hilarious that Wellerman of all shanties is the one that blew up online. It's not a song about life on the high seas or adventuring

It's the "Where the fuck is my delivery" song

[stevishabitat]