Dreamer's Journal

Recycling my old blog/dream journal into a sort of personal journal (maybe?) 💕 29 💕 bisexual 💕 polyamorous💕 mom of 2💕 Practicing witchcraft ✨

[polyamwitchymom]

A bit about me!

She/They

29 years old

I do post some NSFW content on this blog but will clearly mark and tag it as such. If you see a post that starts with "NSFW PERSONAL POST" with the option to read on, that is a nsfw personal post. Dead dove do not eat, and all that.

Side blogs:

SFW littles blog: @amberroseyrae

Daydream blog: @maladaptive-thought-bubble

Identity stufff:

Bisexual/Demisexual

💙💜🩷

I can be attracted to more than one gender

🖤🤍💜🩶

I can generally only develop sexual attraction for someone after I've known them for a while. There have been very few exceptions, and I've never experienced celebrity crushes

Demigirl and exploring

🩶🩶🩷🤍🩷🩶🩶

I feel like a woman, just a little to the left (idk if that makes sense?). I'm still figuring it out. Right now this is the label that best describes it.

Polyamorous!

P=my nesting partner 💕

C=my long distance partner 💕

Am a mom of 2! I won't be talking about my kids too much or sharing photos of them as to respect their privacy until they're old enough to say otherwise. But for context, I have a daughter who is 8 and a son who is 1!

I practice witchcraft on and off, I don't subscribe to any one particular set of beliefs.

I grew up in the RLDS church (diet Mormonism) and no longer subscribe to that belief system or associate with that church.

I am diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive), PTSD, anxiety, and depression

Honestly, this place is just for me to scream into the void about random stuff and interests

[polyamwitchymom]

Mean people give me the ick.

[smallgear]

TADC ep 8 spoilers below cut

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MIND FILES

[alice-ang3l]

I don’t think I can recover from tadc episode 8

[polyamwitchymom]

4 out of the 5 cats are in the bed, snuggling and purring. It is very possible that they believe it is time for food, but with daylight savings, they are sadly mistaken. It is also possible that they know we're having a rough time and are being extra sweet.

[polyamwitchymom]

Years ago I experienced what I can only describe as a dream demon. A reoccurring character in my nightmares that would do very gruesome things to me and people I cared about. This thing would also make small predictions about my life that would come true, leading me to believe this was an outside entity and not a natural dream character. Eventually it was ritualistically trapped in a mirror that was buried in the woods far away from my house. The nightmares stopped. I avoid gore because it brings up the memories of those dreams, and it's upsetting.

I had the unfortunate experience of being told of a disturbing picture someone saw online, and with enough detail that my mind started replaying the memories of the dreams. Sometimes I still get the urge to go dig up that mirror... I don't even know what I'd do with it if I did. I think it calls to me

[polyamwitchymom]

The dream demon is back.

I had sleep paralysis after seeing it in what felt like the beginning of a nightmare that I tried to wake myself up from. And my nesting partner (P♎) started experiencing a nightmare shortly after I managed to come out of the sleep paralysis.

I did ask it how it was back (I thought the question) and it laughed and said it's been back, but hasn't been around me. It's around me now because the last deal it struck fell through (the other person didn't hold up his side of the bargain). It seems chattier than I remember...

3 out of the 5 cats have decided that they need to be in our bed (normally they just like to be in our bed one at a time). It's like they know something is wrong.

[miiilowo]

hold on i need to engineer an image that will cast 20 psychic damage on a niche group of people

[miiilowo]

how are we feelin

[dimeadoesnt]

[ironfoot-72]

[sociallyawkwardrevolution]

When this means nothing to you

[polyamwitchymom]

Is it bad that this produced more nostalgia than cringe for me??

[polyamwitchymom]

Hearing from the dentist that I'm actually doing good with my oral hygiene even though I've not been super consistent like I want to be has done so fucking much for my confidence lol

[polyamwitchymom]

Oop! A meta (who I hadn't listed) fucked up BIG TIME.

Tell me, what is the point in cheating in a polyamorous relationship????

Ex meta is about as bright as a box of rocks though, so I'm not too shocked. I feel awful for my partner... She really liked him and this hurt her....

[polyamwitchymom]

Dude, the more we find out and see things in retrospect, the freakier the situation seems

Genuinely a "the bear would never" type of situation

[polyamwitchymom]

Oop! A meta (who I hadn't listed) fucked up BIG TIME.

Tell me, what is the point in cheating in a polyamorous relationship????

Ex meta is about as bright as a box of rocks though, so I'm not too shocked. I feel awful for my partner... She really liked him and this hurt her....

[polyamwitchymom]

My homework from therapy is to try and track my distractions (when, what, and how long) and while I will try to collect data (I do like collecting data) I am not very confident that I will REMEMBER to write down when I am distracted or even realize when I'm distracted.... I might have to out source this to my partner lol he's gonna have to observe me in my natural habitat and take notes like he's researching a species of wild animal 😂

[polyamwitchymom]

NSFW PERSONAL POST

"Shhh, be quieter" he says before finding that good spot and hitting my cervix at the same time 🥴

Um, if you wanted quieter, you should have chilled out a little 😂

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I'm going to sleep, any recommendations for some good dreams?

A Faceless person sits at the table in the center of the room. They are shuffling cards, waiting for you to take your seat. They hum as they deal the hands. You are playing Go Fish. 

As you play, you and the Faceless being speak of many things. You speak of knowledge of the near future, approaching events, some fortuitous and many most bleak. The conversation turns to talk of a greater event, the darkest hour yet to come. 

The Faceless one comments this: ‘There are many beasts and horsemen in my stables. I have yet to decide which to unleash.’ 

You watch as features bubble up beneath the Faceless skin–the beginnings of a nose, lips, eyelids, a face protruding from a once smooth expanse. No longer Faceless, the devil stands up, shakes your hand, and makes to leave. It pauses just once, to call back into the room. ‘The cards are a gift.’

You look at the cards and they have changed. They are black, large, inscribed in a language you do not read but which the cards read to you. When the cards start speaking to you, you put them away in their box. Already too many things are unleashed in the world.

Tonight, you spoke with the devil. 

The devil looked a lot like you. 

[polyamwitchymom]

After completing week 2 of dream journaling and knowing I've dreamed of people who I haven't seen or spoken to in years, it has occurred to me that I likely show up in other people's dreams too. People who maybe only have known me in passing. People who used to be close to me. People who saw me grow up. People who are still in my life... And perhaps people who aren't...

How many minds does my visage visit at night? And what all happens? I wish I could know.

[mywingsaremadeofplastic]

[polyamwitchymom]

You know what? Yeah. Doing this feels important.

[polyamwitchymom]

At the suggestion of my long distance partner (C♏) I made Borscht last night! It was delicious! Which is surprising because I definitely don't like beets. But I personally couldn't taste them. My nesting partner (P♎) however, was not a fan :/ he said he could taste the beets more prominently.

I'll bring some over to D♑ and A♈ because they wanted to try some ☺️ and we DEFINITELY have left overs lol