Get It Right, Get It Tight

Hey, I'm Lance, and I do stuff, occasionally. 27|♋️

[eebie]

the daniel that couldnt be damned

[liebelesbe]

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

[swamplevel]

i think it's ok to play fighting games to cum. there are worse reasons to do something

[slygirlboy]

and yet, when i play magic the gathering to cum, suddenly its ok to make fun of me

[swamplevel]

it's never okay to play magic the gathering for any reason

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[jame7t]

not me though. im girl with tanktop

[notahorseindisguise]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

[l3irdl3rain]

He was gentle, patient, and kind and eventually she agreed to be his friend

[cursedcatimages]

[hungwy]

The lighting bloom makes this feel like it was filmed in heaven

[depsidase]

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[toddsolondz]

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

[spiralfucker]

Gay kink stores are like here’s the fuck master 5000 gnome king pig blaster it goes in your ass obviously pigfag and pansexual kink stores are like here’s like gender sensory backdoor pridefun exploration pleasure rod and it’s the same toy

[pansydivided]

im fascinated by this. how much can you tell about the christian sex store without doxxing yourself i need to know more

[thesecretuncle]

I worked at an agnostic sex store and it would be called like We Don’t Know Why Tingling Your Prostate With This Here Cattle Prod Feels Good

[daxtri]

"And if you do not see me ere long, know then what I have chosen."

[vedurnan]

6th grade math problem:

Words were exchanged between friends – the house of human companionship was established in secret – eons passed – eons passed – eons passed – eons passed

A) The house was diminished!

B) The house was strengthened!

C) The house was swept away!

D) The house was swept away!

[ricetrippycreeps]

[gentlemanbones]

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

[narcissene]

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

[captain-price-returns]

My favorite firework video on the internet is this one, where 45 minutes worth of fireworks are accidentally detonated all at once on July 4th 2012 in San Diego. The sound is magnificent. It's the end of days. Infinitely better than the show they planned.