Deastra X Heimdall - Song quote
"Love's gonna get you killed, but pride is gonna be the death of you and you and me. (and you and you and you and me)
- PRIDE. , Kendrick Lamar
Message: No warnings, chill fic. Testing the waters with this one. Deastra is the OC I made for GOW x reader fics, I linked the character info sheet below.
Vibes While Writing: ultimate sped-up playlist for actual hot ppl
-> Deastra / y/n character info if something is confusing: https://www.tumblr.com/tia-00l/736839705205817344/deastra-gow-oc?source=share
Again, she's waiting by the hallway, waiting for her "giant" brother to finish with the All-father, my father. Never does she move, and yet I'm still required to watch her even though any of these drunken dim-witted gods could handle her easily. But no, Father insists that I watch her, for the sake of keeping her out of the business he has with that weird boy. So, for another reckless and loud night in the Mess Hall, I pretend to read one of Bragi's many scriptures while endlessly watching this fake god, and my gaze never falters.
"Hail ye jerk!" Oh, what is it now? I hiss to myself. An Aesir who's drunk out of their mind approaches me. "Might I ask what made the All-Father's son such a pain in everyone's ass!" He starts to slug towards me, and I move out of the way while grabbing his face and throwing him in the other direction. The drunk bumps into more drunks and now they're all fighting each other. I scoff and look back to the fake god. "..." Oh shit, where did she go?
"And thanks to that lovely drunken Aesir, I smoothly escaped that puppy's gaze." Ever since we arrived in Asgard, I realized that I never fully explored this new realm. I stretch out my arms to the sky, Tonight is the night I fully explore. I look around and wonder where I am. "Oh shoot," I think to myself. I am a bit lost. This Asgardian city isn't too hard to navigate, but I can't help but find this place repetitive to look at. The only thing that really catches my attention is what's beyond those walls. So that is where I'll go. Except I don't know how to get back to the lift, I used my shadow jump a bit too much and ended up in a random shadow beside someone's house.
"KRAA!" A sound of birds catches my attention and I look up. I see a murder of crows resting on top of a house. "Maybe I should do the same as them," I say to myself. Without voicing another thought I shadow jump to the roof of that house disturbing the crows and they fly away. "Maybe I should've chosen another roof," I whisper while looking around for the wall's lift. I squat down and look through a circle made with my fingers. I find it aaannndd I need to get close to the Mess Hall again. That's going to be a problem for me, the poor pup probably noticed I'm gone already. Sigh, I hope the murder scattering wasn't too obvious.
"Oooh it was quite obvious, Sunshine." I look up and see Heimdall towering over me. "Oh shit, how nice to see you here." I grin at Heimdall and he replies with a neverending glare. His face shows slight confusion and annoyance, am I thinking of something weird? Well, I am happy to see him, I just realized I can get him to be my guide.
"Since you're here already-",
"No" Heimdall hisses.
"I didn't even finish what I was going to say!"
"You didn't need to," Heimdall crosses his arms and his glare intensifies. I stand up and avert my gaze from his. I can't help but be nervous. Maybe I should make a run for the lift right now? Can he stop me? Probably.
"Don't bother running, you won't make it." Heimdall cocks his head.
"How do you know that?" I jokingly say still avoiding his gaze. Oh wait, he has foresight, wait, does he read minds or intent? I forget. I should be more attentive around here.
"Does half of your brain not work?" Heimdall suddenly spits. "Don't think I trust you or think of you as a docile being to the All-Father. It's just what you say is literally what you think, and there's no ill intent." Heimdall steps closer to me and leans towards me. "What really goes on in that brain of yours?" His hand grabs my jaw and makes me face him. Our eyes interlock and he glares into my eyes once more.
I grow uneasy, not from the lack of distance between us, but the lack of awareness I have of his abilities. How far can he see in my mind? He scoffs and pulls his hand from my face. He steps back and turns his back to me.
"Tell me, do you see yourself as the unwanted child in your family." Heimdall looks back at me with a stupid grin on his face. "With what I saw, I can certainly confirm it." I wince at his comment. Never have I doubted the bond I have with my family, but the thought of being unwanted is something I can't get rid of, no matter how silly it might be. Father and Atreus have grown closer throughout the years, and their bond is special. Never have they done anything to make me think ill of my position as their family, it's just a thought that intrudes my peace at times. I notice that Heimdall has turned back to me and his expression is filled with amusement. He sees deeper in my mind than I can realize, rather, he sees the layer of my thoughts that I choose to reject.
"Quit it," I say.
"Haha, no, I don't think I will." His grin widens. "Kratos thinks of you as a constant reminder of his past. YOU were there with him in that other world." Heimdall draws closer to me again and bends down to meet my face with his. His eyes pierce mine. "And I suppose it doesn't help that his regrets with his old family resurface with your presence." Heimdall tilts his head, not breaking eye contact. "Your so-called father will never feel for you as deeply as he does for that boy, and you know that." Heimdall stands back to his full height and peers down at me.
I smile back at the god before me. Sure, what he said bothered me for a moment and I began to feel bad for myself again. But what he said was only things that I've thought before. To add, those are my thoughts, not the truth. "I will admit that revelation of yours did hurt to hear," I say while I place my hand on my chest. "But at least if how I felt was true, I wouldn't turn into this realm's greatest jerk." My smile widens and I shadow-jump to an open field that headed towards the lift up the wall. Heimdall most likely saw this coming as he arrived there shortly after I jumped.
"Oh please, what did you mean by that?" Heimdall coos. "I am the Herald of Ragnarok, I am the one he seeks council within nearly every situation!" He continues to spaz about the many feats that would make him feel that Odin loved him truly as his son. "Out of all my brothers, I am the most competent and smartest!" I started to dull out his voice in my head, which was something he noticed right away and did not like.
Heimdall's hand pulls my shoulder making me spin around and face him. I've been in his situation with Kratos when his revenge was his sole priority. I've been with Kratos when he regretted his actions and I did begin to remind him of all his pains. I was in Heimdall's position of having a father who had no true want for you. Although, after he granted my life once more, he gave me his blood and even Faye's as a way of becoming their child, he changed and I was no longer unwanted. Even with Atreus's birth, I was never treated any differently. So thinking I was unwanted in my family is only a pain from the past that still haunts me.
"You know nothing of my intent or the feelings my father has for me!" Heimdall's voice is seething with annoyance. Did he read my monologue just now? The god's face twists. "I do the All-Father's bidding because I must protect Asgard and him. I don't do this because I'm trying to gain his attention like a needy mutt." That's not at all what I thought, did that slip from his mind?
"I may not have the same ability to read intent and thoughts as you, but I can read people to an extent." This time I step closer to the Aesir god in front of me and rest my hands on my hips. "The twisted, disgusting, despicable, and ruthless feelings that old man has towards his sons are vile. He treated Atreus much better than he probably ever did to you and your brothers right?" Heimdall's eyes twitch. "I don't have any ill intent towards anyone here just yet, because the ones I do have issues with are dead, and I frankly don't want any more bloodshed. To be completely honest with you, I pity the hell out of you, and you probably hate that." Heimdall steps closer to me, his eyes dark. "Don't speak another word." I back off once he says this, I don't mean to anger the people of this realm, let alone Odin's most favored tool.
I'm sure this ass in front of me is capable of love. Except the only thing he does love is maybe that Gulltopr thing and Odin. His familial love for Odin will never be reciprocated. I hate how much I relate to this thing. I can't help to think about it either.
"Do not believe that we are similar in any way." He hisses. "Being tasked to watch you has proven to be a pain. You've only been here for one day and I have grown to feel sick of you." Heimdall turns towards the Mess Hall. "You are a rare truthful but infuriating being that I no longer want to deal with. I can truly see there is no actual threat to you being here, so I don't need to bother with you right now." Heimdall storms off. Before he leaves, I can't help but blurt one last thing.
Surprisingly he stops in his tracks. "Your love for Odin is gonna get you killed, but pride is gonna be the death of you and me." Heimdall turns his head to me, his face filled with annoyance. "And what do you mean by that?" My mind is blank, I don't know, I just said it. "No idea actually, don't dwell too much on it golden boy," I say to him with the intent of peacefully ending what feud we just had. I recall what I was doing, going to the wall. I begin to trek to the lift once more, forgetting about Heimdall who hasn't looked away from me. The gods of this realm are much more tolerable than the ones I knew in my previous existence. I genuinely hope to co-exist with these gods, even Heimdall.
Note: Do y'all like it if I color code who talks? Or only if I do it partially.
