~Whassup Sluts~

Sometimes I get high and go on tumblr. Old enough to know better than to put personal information online.

[posts-for-when-im-high]

WHY IS HE OURPLE

[creekfiend]

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

Hello.

[creekfiend]

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

I can go upside down.

[creekfiend]

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU

[deadelated]

Dude you have to go to Stoopidburger in Portland it's 70$ and they stir the water

[marxism-transgenderism]

Come take ibuprofen with me

[dogpuppy]

Kid tattled on my kid at the park, told me “your kid called me a bootydog” and it was so fucking hard not to laugh

[mattpresents]

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

[junk-thunder]

one thing no one ever teaches you is that you can just make things nicer and more intentional- you can take your energy drink, pour it in a rocks glass over ice with a slice of lime on the rim, and sip it slow. and you'll think, "wow i am the biggest faggot to have ever lived". and you know what? you're right.

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[tatzelwurming]

econony is fucked as hell so i’m going to try a bunch of gas station boner pills and start a class action lawsuit against which ever one hurts me the most badly

[depsidase]

[woodwool]

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

[toothfairyinc]

never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive

[melancholic-whimsy]

they hate me for my flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations

[posts-for-when-im-high]

MCR PEEPS WHATS HAPPENING IM SCARED

[whoreocookiesnmilk]

God you’re so polite to service workers it’s sooo hot 🥵

[flythesail]

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

[drhorsekiller]