the constellations of your skin

keeley. http://www.constantasanorthernstarx.wordpress.com bumblebee.co.uk @ ig

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dearest god hello it’s me, touching myself again

dearest god hello it’s me, touching myself again Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville And This Is How The Porno Endsi’ve stopped touching myself to stand still in the centre of the room           dearest god it’s me in the garden with a go proand a skateboard on my back     hello againit’s me picking blu tac off a door with other blu tac             genius Hi I’m Johnny Knoxville And This Is How Internet…

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Space Movie

I am the child leftbehind while he time travelled.For him it may have been five minutes, but for me it was years. Not even sure he came back. * I’ve travelled through wormholesmet a photocopy of my father on a beach I’ve seen ghostlings, frantic bookshelves, a needle in the sky.No-one else knew hewas gone.

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Bug

wanna live again like its 1999 wanna go back to before when my mum let slip my dad still earns £9.50 an hour wanna stop adding up how many small successes in life i would have to make happen so he could retire            i don’t even like him anyway    don’t wanna pretend i’ve got it bad that it people use as a euphemism for a crush or hereditary disease you got it so so bad.in 1999 everyone…

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I haven’t picked up a pen and opened my 

mouth. It’s been very long. I’m afraid if I do, grit and gravel left after the salting truck will spill outLooking inwards has never felt so outwardsI feel ashamed of my grief  I think of my grandmother who passed away years ago and feel under the surface Drowned in the presence of it Like she was dying again now I think I am so happy she wasn’t here for this pandemicIn that corner of the…

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hangnail

I’m picking the skin around my nails but what if they all justfell off?  I don’t just only write in love poemsi’m writing the same one poem of love, overand over again              its not satisfying until I’veripped the whole thing off am I being too obvious?      rip the whole thingoff        the tiny scraps of skin, allswallowed + swallowed, enoughimbibed to make a pillow of tiny skinscraps…

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Spectral

i feel like a reverse speck of dustlike breathing any more life onto youinside memight blow me over piecing together fragmentsof aftermath and beforeamount to nothing almost the word mosaic makes mesick my therapist told me i’m stuck in a loop ofbeing thirteenbeing broken inlike a cyber horsewhen i makewhinnying sounds she tells me to grow upno-one appreciates potteryuntil it’s smashed

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hermit kitchen

in the fridge are leftovers ofsemi-devoured relationshipslike a carboot salebits and bobsall over the placeall amounted to nothing

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Chapter 58

a simple wordand like darcyi’ll be silenced foreverstood in pondswaiting for a witchtrial. between the rocksand mountains. betweenyou and me, do you thinki enchanted you?Do you think I cursed you?

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9th November

Brisket braises            laze in chases2 metres from pot washers and downstairs fridge raiders On the floor,   some big wig raising a glassto a somewhat impossibly and indisputably bigger, wig Smoking a cigarThe waiters, Wave breakers carrying shark fin soupClocklike precision – with extra bits Smack-bang, on page,A delicacy/delight All of them                 toothpicks disappointed from…

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I am very ???

— In response to ‘I am Very Precious’ by Melissa Lee Houghton, 2018 There is a no man’s land between my thighs / and apart from brush / there isn’t sign of god ever having been there at all / You know when day breaks into night / and there’s brief peace? I had it once as I stood in a river / swallowed up / the moment like after a broken ice sheet redistributes itself / I was wanted so hard once /…

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The following greenhouses come in three different sizes andspecifications: 1. simple, large and wide; good for those experiencedgreenhouses who like to harbour, cultivate and grow specimens2. tall, thin and spacious; a more homely variation that caters tobasic gardener needs and has transparent plastic windowsand 3, the greenhouse you wanted since you were a little girl.in the post-apocalyptic…

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Eggs

i / truth / eggs / i beauty them when they shimmy / in the pan and goad me into grating cheese / i cannot make an omelette the way gran did when her hands didn’t shake / so / you need salt and pepper with eggs / an egg without salt and pepper is like a hug without love / eggs are runny in the pan but if you beat them they take more shape / mum always makes me an omelette when i come home and…

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Frankengertrudesteinian

I’m a non linear whistlethree sheets to the windI want to be a bagel and be very well endoughedfresh out the factory with no hole fixed with polyfiller mistaken for icing and sing New York, New York  in a world wherelandmarks and iconoclasts belch out their city of origin  you’ve probably moved forwards somehowI hope the girl has gum disease calcified resolvecheck your teeth into the good…

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The Topical Use of Waterboarding as Torture Has Been for Many Years, Off Record, Been Sanctioned by the US Goverment

I got five words for ya and two of them are potnoodle. Pot noodle is a very clever name for the two and at £1 per pot or 50p if they’re on offerwho’s to judge you on what’s good for your digestive systems. They even have vegetarian flavours actuallymost of them are vegetarian even the meat ones which just goes to show you shouldn’t always believe whatyou read but also a little dash of that…

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1.    We’re alive times one. 2.    When philosophers say things, nod 3.    When your mother says things, nod 4.    We’re alive times one 5.    This is a bit alarming but probably baconbits and bobs so don’t worry, won’t add upto much 6.    Waiting for the aftermath to afterbirth a poem; the secondary baby,little nugget   waiting by the edge of the weir for ripples 7.    The philosopher…

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Crosstalk

I’m trying to think of something realwhile sat in the clown car licking the seat cushion’sslimy mouldy furry lollipopand the ringmaster with half a nose and an ear falling offpoints through his sucker psychedeliccrazypenis finger right at me as if to say heythis didn’t happenand Manfredd Man is in the passengerseat singing doo wa diddy diddy dom diddy do, popping hisfingers and clicking a ticker…

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Cleansing

clean the tabs on google to cleanseor maybe soak a dishlet the suds make your nails gosee through and softso they breakorganise a room you’ve inhabitedfor the twelfth time in not evenas many monthswhat told you there wasany godliness in erasing any traceyou were ever there?

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