Developing an Inner Safe Space for Parts
Note: This post was written for people with dissociative disorders, but anyone else can use the methods here if they're helpful!
This post is all about inner safe spaces! What is an inner safe space, though? Here's what Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation says:
"Inner safe spaces are images of places where you can be safe, relaxed, and cared for. These images have been shown to be helpful to many people, not just those with dissociative disorders. This type of imaginal activity is well known to produce a feeling of relaxation and well-being in those who use it regularly. If your inner experience feels so jarring, unsafe, and frightening, as it often does in individuals with dissociative disorders, the ability to imagine these spaces becomes especially important and helpful."
Inner safe spaces can be useful for many things. You can use it to relax & alleviate anxiety. It can be a tool for soothing dissociated parts of the self, or aide in your communication with them. You or other parts can enter your inner safe space to protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed or potential triggers. Overall, creating an inner safe space can help make your mind a safer, calmer place.
So, how do you make one? All you have to do is imagine it!
Your inner safe space can be anything you want to imagine. There are no rules and it can always be changed! You can create one imaginary place for all parts of your system to share & add to. Or, each part of your system can create their own inner safe spaces to match their own needs. Some people already experience some sort of inner world, too. This can always be changed in order to make it feel safer and calmer for all parts of the system.
🌟 Ideas for inner safe spaces:
Outdoor areas like a meadow, beach, forest, mountain, etc.
Buildings like a cabin, tree house, castle, library, etc.
Vehicles like a car, pirate ship, submarine, spacecraft, etc.
Something underground, underwater, in the sky, or in space.
An entire planet or world of your own.
A fictional world that brings you comfort.
An inner safe space isn't a safe space if it doesn't make you, including all parts of you, feel safe. A good place to start is by writing down things that make you feel safe. If you don't know what makes you feel safe, try looking at what makes you feel less unsafe. It might also help to ask a loved one or therapist for help!
Invite your system to include their own needs, too. Try not to judge them even if you disagree. It's important for all parts of the system to feel safe.
🌟 Ideas for things that you can add/adjust to make your inner safe space feel more comfortable:
Add games, food, and movies that you like
Create individual rooms for each part of the system
Give yourself an inner appearance that makes you happy
Add your favorite colors, sounds, smells, & sights
Add people, characters, animals & creatures that you like
Give yourself a comfortable bed, with soft blankets & maybe even some plushies
Create a protective force field around your safe space
You or other parts may want to have a safe space that no one else can intrude upon and that's okay. It's important to respect each other's privacy. You can also adjust the inner safe space to make communication between parts easier! For example, you could add intercoms, mailboxes, telephones, or even a meeting area for aiding communication.
🌟 Having trouble visualizing, or can't visualize things at all? Try...
Building it. You can use a video game like the Sims (get it for free!) or Minecraft.
Basing it off of a real place.
Collecting photos/videos of what you want it to be like. You can find royalty-free images on Unsplash and Pixabay. Or you create a Pinterest account!
Filling a journal, document, blog, or discord server with pictures, writing, and anything you want about your inner safe space!
Trying guided exercises for creating inner safe spaces. (IMO this is best done with a therapist's help.)
Asking your friends, therapist, or loved ones for their suggestions.
Creating a physical safe space instead of an inner one.
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