hell is empty

and all the devils are here

[feefal]

Gold, Silver, and Bronze!🥇🥈🥉

Now as sisters and with a complex sibling dynamic.

[feefal]

[theunfairfolk]

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

[semusepsu]

One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.

[gallusrostromegalus]

To be entirely fair to the pelican, I have seen humans do much, much dumber things with their infants. The park rangers in Louisiana ha e to regularly tell people to not put their babies on the ground next to the gators for a pic.

In fact, it could be argued that the peculiar grammar used by the pelican in the Put Baby In Pelican Mouth post is deliberate, like how phishers use major grammar errors in their messages so that people too smart for the scam (or smart enough to report them) ignore the emails and the scammer can focus on the most likely marks.

Regardless, the pelican is right: there is absolutely someone dumb enough to put a baby in its mouth because it asked politely. Probably dozens on that beach alone.

[kyraneko]

Put baby in pelican mouth for Instagram photo. Facebook photo of baby in pelican mouth for many likes and also happy asleep baby. So cute baby in pelican mouth for video on TikTok. Youtube short of baby so cute in soft pelican mouth for so many views to Youtube channel. Baby in pelican mouth challenge.

[girlballs-archive]

captain picker isgonna finger himself

[girlballs-archive]

his wife is. 44 years old.

[despazito]

The fucking that old man website when someone actually fucks that old man

[the-unnecessary-commentary]

[alexandersfolly]

Tumblr is stuffed to the brim with 18-25 year olds who talk endlessly about being a hole for old men and have a heart attack the second a consenting adult is in a relationship with an old man

[universeleads]

Wait I can't believe I haven't talked about my holiday bits on here before. So I work in grocery and I always work holidays and big events that mean we get a ton of tourists in our town and a ton of customers non stop all day. When you work retail on holidays you end up having the same conversations over and over again, so this year I made it a point to choose a bit or a lie for each holiday to keep up for my entire shift that serves solely to mess with customers without them realizing what I'm doing, and ensure I have fun and make myself laugh. Here are the 2026 holiday bits so far:

Memorial day: I pretended I didn't know what it was, and I wanted to see how many customers would correct me if I kept referring to it as "America's birthday". Some people wanted to kill me with hammers for this I wont lie

Easter: I pretended to be catholic and would tell people at the register while making small talk that I gave up lying for lent and couldn't lie again until the new year because it's something I've been meaning to work on (not how lent works) (not catholic) (actively lying about lying)

Valentine's day: I invented a fake boyfriend at the beginning of my shift and wanted to see how developed of a character I could create by the time my shift ended with the rule that I could only add to his lore by telling customers things about him out loud (I have a boyfriend named Jake who surfs and is a photography major at UC Santa Barbara who I was going to celebrate Valentine's day with the following weekend because he's on a camping trip in Big Sur with his surf buddies and I also managed to sneak in that hes lived in 2 houses that burned down and that's where his passion for photography comes from, he wants to preserve his memories)

New years: I decided to tell every customer a different new years resolution but I could only make them up on the spot and couldn't say the same thing twice

Superbowl Sunday: every time someone asked me what team I was rooting for, I would confidently and excitedly say any team I could think of except for the two in the actual Superbowl and whenever someone told me that they weren't in the Superbowl I would look super crushed and disappointed

[silvernevermind]

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Damn, missed it again

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Happy Bog Day!

[porcelain-dollbones]

it really is kind of interesting how attached people are to the idea of the improvised line and the genuine reaction in film. nearly every single famous moment or line has some sort of claim floating around that it wasn't in the script and was either made up on the spot by an actor or was sprung as a surprise on the actors to get their 'real' reaction. you know, sometimes people do come up with good lines in advance and write them down, and sometimes people can pretend to be have a convincing emotional response on screen

[jessaerys]

everyone's always like "the media from my childhood that isn't good on revisit" but no one talks about the media from your childhood that IS actually that good and on revisit and you're like oh fuck oh shit that was masterful in technical ways i was too young to grasp but which still affected me nonetheless. and that explains why you're so prone to haterism. sorry they showed me the real good stuff first so i assumed all of the following stuff i experienced would be equally resonant. as if it's my fault

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

hearing anything about the nolan odyssey is so funny. it's like "they cut the extremely important and infamous nobody scene" "the cyclops is a giant puppet that they put in an actual historical cave + gave circe animatronics for her pig transformation instead of cgi" "they dumped plastic skeletons in an environmentally protected location they were not supposed to be in" "they recreated ancient greek instruments in order to have an accurate score" "all of odysseus's agency is basically gone" "anne hathaway actually learned how to weave ancient looms" "the women in this movie are treated like shit" "they actually buried actors alive to get those underworld shots" "did you see what the fuck zendaya was fucking wearing holy shit you can't DO THAT, MA'AM" "what do you mean there was a legitimate epic the musical reference" "NOT A SINGLE FUCKING GREEK WAS CAST IN THIS MOVIE"

like did nolan have two guys standing at his side at all times whispering ideas in his ear and one told the truth and the other told lies and they didnt tell him which was which until they wrapped production cause

[chzdavmpr]

I looked up Zendaya's outfit and couldn't immediately tell what was wrong, and then I checked the replies and... I'll share them here for people who can't be bothered

[doveywovy]

you cannot make steve a pacifist bc for him violence does solve problems it has always solved problems he knows firsthand it solves problems. he was born in the era of "if your factory owner doesn't pay you, Bring a Brick to his house". he was on the streets of new york when "too many nazis? get the mob to beat the shit out of them" was a strategic victory.

this is lived experience. you can explain peaceful protests and the powers of advocacy and representation as much as you want to him but at the end of the day he's going to be like. you guys need to get hammers and you need to start swinging

[doveywovy]

he's the definition of "give a man a hammer and every problem becomes a nail" and the hammer is the power of unfathomable violence

[davros42]

When old comics age extremely well.

[davros42]

We have an update on the situation.

[davros42]

When old comics age extremely well.

[davros42]

We have an update on the situation.

[crimsonservbot]

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

[stoopkidlisteningtocsh]

Was feeling Emotions than was quickly hit by very different ones upon opening the comments

[lamiafemme]

People constantlyyyy using new words to water down misogyny when a woman does it. No she is not “male centered” or “not a girls girl” she’s a misogynist just like her boyfriend!!!!

[theonion]

After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

“Tuesday?” San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. “How in the hell is it still Tuesday?”

Tuesday’s arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end, and others to ask what was taking Saturday so goddamn long.

Full Story

[sa-x]

how it feels remembering charlie kirk got shot through the neck and died