Average at Everything

Hello friends. I am Mars, 25+. Weeb trash.

[dorothylarouge]

[bob-artist]

Bittern at the grocery store

[sparkly-heretic]

A very elegant crime.

(edit: my partner just pointed out that maybe the bittern is going to pay, and that's a good point)

[bob-artist]

Don't worry, his disguise was flawless and he got away with his snack :)

[junipersheart]

NCNSJEBFJSEHBBDBSNXJSND

[dickmaster]

Cunty little thing isnt it

[andmaybegayer]

> looking at a new popular collectible

> ask the people if it's objects or gambling

> they don't understand

> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling

> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"

> look up how to buy a collectible

> its gambling

[andmaybegayer]

> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!

Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.

There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!

[girlishgamine]

You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.

Deceptive Patterns (aka Dark Patterns) - spreading awareness since 2010

The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha

[ralfmaximus]

That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.

[dailymanners]

I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.

Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.

[twstcookbook]

🖋️ Attention students!🖋️

You're invited to attend the foremost culinary event of the season! Reservations for the CULINARY CRUCIBLE will begin on August 10th!

Keep an eye on our socials for updates, previews, and more in the coming weeks!!

[rriavian]

I cannot tell you how insane this quote has made me ever since I read it

[invizigothx]

first rule of Cite Club: tell everyone where you learned about Cite Club

[playwrongs]

invizigothx. (2026, January 30). first rule of Cite Club: tell everyone where you learned about Cite Club [Text post]. Tumblr. https://www.tumblr.com/invizigothx/807189844216446977/first-rule-of-cite-club-tell-everyone-where-you?source=share

[spiribia]

when enkidu dies Gilgamesh covers his face, veiling it “like a bride”. Haha (sudden low voice through gritted teeth) the ancient Mesopotamians are running circles around us. I need you to get your ass on the field and give me your best yaoi or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

[mclennonyaoi]

guys is this fucking real . did i invent the term girlfailure

[mclennonyaoi]

“the post received five notes in two years” are you mad at me? :(

[mclennonyaoi]

this is going to change 2 truths and a lie forever for me

[creekfiend]

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

[animperfectangelsblog]

[twstmethis]

average diasomnia road trip.

[twstmethis]

it was all a dream .....

[twstmethis]

LMAOOOO just realized i gave lilia human ears. oh my god. will fix it when i wake up bc its super early here.

[courtesycalling]

[sticksandsharks]

Family of Cyprinidae, Water-Type native to Kanto.

[minotauri]

if u ever think ur being overly petty and bitter just remember there once was a portuguese prince whose dad assassinated the woman he loved & when he became king he literally had her body exhumed & placed upon the throne as his queen & forced the portuguese nobility (aka most of his father’s supporters) to pledge their alliance to her & kiss the hem of her clothes so that they would “render her when dead that homage which she had not received in her life” (x)

[m3rcykill]

WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN GET THESE STORIES FROM???! DO YOU LIKE MAKE THEM UP OR SMTH??!

[minotauri]

yeah… or i’m portuguese and know my history

[starkchesters]

okay so like, this is one of my favorite parts of Portuguese history

and it’s not because I have the same name as her or anything (even tho it’s definitely a factor - because how cool is that?!? - and I kinda used - and sometimes still use, let’s be real here - that as an excuse to call myself a queen because reASONS and shut up you would do the same)

but because that shit is like the stuff of legends and there is a whole myth surrounding their love story and the supposed place where she was killed - on the king’s orders near a fountain in the farm where she secretly lived with prince Pedro - because there’s a red stain there and it’s said that when she was stabbed she cried for the king’s men to spare her children (if memory serves me right) and her tears landed on the fountain and turned red because she was terribly devastated and in pain thinking only of her children and how she was going to leave them without a mother when in the last moments of her life…

and also, you know that prince? before he did that thing when he exhumed her just to make her ~officially~ his queen - and have everyone who ever opposed to them and their love kiss her clothes to pay her homage and the respect she did not have in life?? like that shit savage bro - he did another thing, even more savage than that

he searched the whole country for the two dudes who stabbed her (there was a third but I think he died or smth), even went to spain because one of them fled the country after the king died, and he fucking RIPPED their hearts out (one from the front and one from the back, because Inês was stabbed from both sides too) and tortured them in public, y'know, as you do

and that, my dear friends, is why the story of Pedro and Inês is considered one of the best love stories on our country (and I would say the world too because that shit better than anything Shakespeare or Nicholas Sparks ever wrote and it was fucking real)

my boy Pedro didn’t fuck around when you fucked with his lady, and you lyin’ if you say you don’t want you a freak like this - this Extra™, this ride or die, this savage - when it comes to love.

listen up, girls and boys, take note: follow their example and get yourselves a freak who would crown you queen after you were killed

TL;DR: basically Portuguese history has the best love story in the world and its the most savage thing you could imagine. go look it up - the story of Pedro and Inês. *mic drop*

[dangermousie]

Reblogging to add even more awesome contest to a previous reblog

[momo-de-avis]

People thinking this is fake is genuinely why I insist there is more history outside BBC shows about the Tudors. Yall are missing on some prime telenovela shit here on the little iberian peninsula

[nohoperadio]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

OP I want you to know I think of this post every single time I have to wash a spoon.