An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
The rink was empty as Shane skated in slow, leisurely circles, lost in thought. On the ice is the only place Shane felt like he could think clearly. He took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, making a mental list of all the things he had to do that week. He had a paper due in three weeks for Advanced Anatomy and Physiology that he had an outline for but still needed to write, he had a project assigned in Diverse Populations of Health, he needed to start his reading for Applied Kinesiology, and he really should start planning another event for his residents…
Shane was snapped out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. Hayden stood near the edge of the rink, his hands in his pockets and an easy smile on his face. Shane skated over to where his best friend was standing, coming to a stop against the boards. “Hey Hayd,” he greeted his friend. “Aren’t you supposed to be in New York right now?”
“Game against NYU got cancelled,” Hayden explained, “so I thought I would catch one of your games! I haven’t seen you play in a minute.”
“Oh, I see,” Shane grinned at his friend. “You had nothing better to do, so you thought you’d come slum it with the hockey rejects.”
“I keep telling you, Shane, you should try out for the team. You’re one of the best players I’ve ever seen, better than a lot of the guys already on the team. You’re basically guaranteed a spot.” Hayden leaned forward, resting his elbows on the half-wall as he spoke.
“I told you Hayd, between being an RA, my schoolwork, and working at the rink, I don’t have the time.”
“Shane, none of that even matters when you’ll get scouted and drafted into the NHL. Because that’s exactly what would happen. You’re such a great player that it would be inevitable.”
Shane rolled his eyes and pushed away from the wall, skating backwards. “No need to glaze me like that, Hayden.”
There was movement out of the corner of his eye, and Shane turned his head to see one of his team members, Troy Barrett, approaching the ice. He had his boyfriend at his side, which wasn’t out of the ordinary, but on his other side was another man who looked vaguely familiar. Shane squinted, and his stomach flip-flopped when he realized where he knew the man from. It was the guy he had literally ran into in the hallway the previous morning.
“Hollander,” Troy greeted him as he stepped onto the ice. “Pike. The Blades are doing great this year.”
“Barrett,” Shane nodded at him. Troy and Hayden started discussing the Blades’ chances of making playoffs this year. Normally Shane would be deeply interested in this topic, but his eyes flickered to the man from the hallway, who was now engrossed in a conversation with Troy’s boyfriend.
“Oh,” Troy caught Shane’s glance. “Sorry, rude of me to not introduce my friend. That’s Rozanov,” Troy gestured at the man, Rozanov, who looked up at the mention of his name. “He’s in Sigma Nu with me.”
Rozanov sauntered over. “You can call me Ilya,” he said with an easy smile. “It is nice to be properly introduced.”
“You guys know each other?” Troy looked between the two of them.
“I may or may not have knocked him over yesterday morning on my way out of Gordon.” Ilya smirked as Shane felt his own face get hot. “But he ran off before we could make proper acquaintances. So, I am Ilya.” Ilya extended his hand across the boards, his eyes burning into Shane’s. “You are?”
Shane cleared his throat. “Hollander,” he spoke, taking Ilya’s hand and shaking it once before he let ago again. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday morning when he had held his hand for entirely too long. “Shane Hollander.”
“Shane Hollander,” Ilya repeated his name, his accent curling around the syllables in a way that made Shane’s mouth feel dry. He was still looking intently at Shane, studying him, trying to see into his soul. “Nice to officially meet you.”
Shane nodded once, and a silence stretched between the five men. “I’m Hayden,” Hayden spoke up, extending his hand towards Ilya. “Shane’s best friend and roommate.”
Ilya finally dragged his gaze off of Shane, his eyes losing their intensity as he looked at Hayden. “Pleasure,” he said simply, glancing down at Hayden’s offered hand, but not shaking it. Hayden dropped his hand, and silence blanketed them again for a few moments before Ilya asked, “Um, I overheard you and Barrett talking about hockey? You play for university?”
“Yeah!” Hayden spoke excitedly. Shane smiled to himself for a moment, appreciating Hayden’s passion for hockey. It was something that they bonded over, helping them become quick friends when they were matched as roommates their freshman year. “I keep telling Shane here that his talent is wasted and that he needs to come play with the big dogs.” Hayden shook Shane’s shoulder, and Shane’s small smile grew at Hayden’s playful praise. “But he won’t listen.”
“As I’ve told you, Hayd, I’m way too busy,” Shane said, feigning exasperation.
The truth is, there was a part of Shane that wanted to take the step. He knew he could keep up with the university team easily. There was another smaller part of him that knew there was probably some truth to Hayden’s words, that Shane would get scouted and drafted into the NHL. Shane was damn good at hockey, he knew that, but at the same time he was plagued with doubt. Joining the university team would be a much bigger commitment to hockey than he had right now. If he dedicated more time to hockey, he wouldn’t have as much time to study and do his coursework. He couldn’t take the chance of getting too focused on hockey to the point that his school performance suffered. If he dedicated more time to hockey and let his performance in school suffer, then he wouldn’t have a fallback plan if hockey didn’t work out for him.
Shane shook his head and noticed the rest of his team had entered while he was lost in his thoughts. He skated away to greet them and to start running warmups. The more he skated, the looser his body became, until the worries of his future disappeared and his thoughts were consumed by hockey, only hockey.
Ilya’s eyes focused on the figure on the ice from the moment he walked into the rink. He was talking to a blond man leaning against the boards, a wide smile on his face. Ilya immediately disliked the man, disliked anyone who was making Shane smile like that. He knew it was a little overkill, that he had no claim on Shane and that they haven’t even been properly introduced yet, but he couldn’t help the rush of jealousy that swept through his body and curled up in his gut.
“Oh, by the way, Ilya, I brought more cider from my parents’ house,” Harris, Troy’s boyfriend, spoke next to him, breaking Ilya from his thoughts. “It’s in my truck.”
“Harris Drover, you are the best.” Ilya smiled down at Harris. “How is your family doing?”
Ilya listened as Harris told him about his parents, his sisters, and the orchard. “It’s starting to get busier now that it’s fall,” Harris said. “I’ve been going home to help out more often.”
“I will come help too, if you need,” Ilya told Harris, his voice genuine.
Harris’s reply was cut off by Troy speaking his name. “That’s Rozanov,” Troy introduced him. “He’s in Sigma Nu with me.”
Ilya looked to where Troy was standing with Shane and the blond man, pleased to see Shane’s doe eyes on him. Shane looked away the moment Ilya caught his gaze. Ilya grinned as he walked over to make proper introductions. “You can call me Ilya,” he said. “It is nice to be properly introduced.”
“You guys know each other?” Troy settled his gaze on Ilya, narrowing his eyes slightly.
“I may or may not have knocked him over yesterday morning on my way out of Gordon.” Shane’s cheeks pinked up, his freckles standing out more. Bozhe moy, he was beautiful. “But he ran off before we could make proper acquaintances. So, I am Ilya.” Ilya offered his hand to Shane, ducking his head to meet his gaze. “You are?”
“Hollander,” Shane said as he grasped Ilya’s hand. His palm was slightly clammy, probably from being on the ice, but Ilya thought there could be a chance it was also from his presence. He selfishly hoped there would be a repeat of the hallway, that Shane would continue to hold his hand. Unfortunately for Ilya, Shane let go right away. “Shane Hollander.”
“Shane Hollander.” Ilya spoke his name slowly, feeling the way it took shape in his mouth. His eyes wandered Shane’s face, taking in every detail, before they continued down his body. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, clearly affected by Ilya’s admiring gaze. Even beneath all the padding, Ilya could see the tension Shane held in his shoulders and spine. Ilya wanted to soothe him, to massage the tightness right out of his body. He finally dragged his eyes back up to Shane’s, a small smirk appearing on his lips as he noticed how flustered Shane seemed to be. “Nice to officially meet you.”
Silence stretched over the five of them. Ilya continued to look at Shane, trying to get a gauge of his feelings. Shane, however, kept an expressionless mask on his face. The only sign of any emotion was the tension still in his body, and the way his eyes kept darting around, his gaze meeting Ilya’s for just a few moments before darting away again.
“I’m Hayden,” the blond man said, breaking the silence. Ilya was immediately struck with a pang of irritation. “Shane’s best friend and roommate.”
Ilya finally looked away from Shane, seeing that Hayden had his hand out to shake. “Pleasure,” he said as he glanced at the outstretched hand. After a few awkward moments Hayden dropped his hand, muttering a quiet okay under his breath.
Ilya let out a breath as he realized that if he wanted Shane, he should probably play nice with his best friend. “Um, I overheard you and Barrett talking about hockey? You play for university?”
“Yeah!” Hayden’s face lit up in a smile. “I play left wing. I keep telling Shane here that his talent is wasted and that he needs to come play with the big dogs.” He grabbed Shane’s shoulder and playfully shook him. Ilya was plagued with a flash of jealousy at how casually Hayden could touch Shane. “But he won’t listen.”
Shane rolled his eyes. “As I’ve told you, Hayd, I’m way too busy.”
The rest of the intramural team started to trickle in. Both Shane and Troy skated away to greet the others and warm up, leaving Ilya standing with Harris and Hayden. The three of them migrated to the bleachers, Ilya sitting next to Harris while Hayden took a seat a few feet away. “He’s right, you know,” Harris said as they watched the players warm up. “Shane is way better than pretty much everyone he plays with. He’s like a hockey robot. It’s almost as if he becomes one with the ice.”
“I promise not to tell Barrett you said that Shane is the best,” Ilya chuckled.
“No, Troy agrees.” Harris glanced at Ilya before he looked back to the ice. “Just watch him. You’ll see.”
The hockey game didn’t last long, only consisting of two twenty-minute halves with a very short break in between. Ilya didn’t take his eyes off of Shane the entire time. Harris was right, Shane was clearly the best player on the ice. And as much as Ilya hated to admit it, Hayden was right too. His talents were being wasted playing intramural hockey. Shane didn’t just belong on the university team; he belonged in the NHL. He’d be the star player in the league, head and shoulders above even the best of the best.
The game finished with a score of 5-2. Ilya watched as Shane shook hands with everyone on the opposing team before he turned and said a few words to his own team. Ilya’s eyes tracked him as he skated off the ice and made his way to Hayden, who was waiting for him with a smile on his face. Once again, jealousy settled like a pit in his stomach.
“What’s for dinner?” Troy appeared in front of Ilya and Harris, his hair sweaty and tousled from his helmet. He pulled Harris in for a kiss, grinning as Harris wrinkled his nose and made a protest about Troy stinking. Ilya watched his friends with a fond smile on his face, happy for the love they found in one another. “I’m starving.”
“We could go back to Sigma Nu,” Ilya said. He glanced over at Shane and Hayden before he suggested, “Or we could go out to eat?”
“I vote we go out,” Troy said. “It’s Sunday which means the frat chef isn’t in, and I don’t feel like cooking for myself right now.”
“I could cook something,” Harris offered. Ilya was shaking his head before Harris finished talking.
“We should go out. Celebrate the win. I’ll buy,” Ilya insisted.
“Looks like we’re going out to dinner,” Troy said. He started to take off his hockey gear, packing it back into his duffel bag.
“Maybe we should invite Shane,” Ilya said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Troy glanced up at Ilya, seeing right through his feigned nonchalance. “I’ve never invited Hollander anywhere. It’d be weird.”
“What is saying? There is a first time for everything,” Ilya pushed. “It is only weird if you make it weird.”
Troy stared at Ilya for a few moments before he sighed and turned around, spotting Shane talking to Hayden near the bleachers. “Hollander,” Troy called his name. “We’re going out for dinner, want to come?”
“Um,” Shane’s eyes immediately found Ilya’s before he looked at Troy. “Hayd and I were just talking about picking something up and taking it back to our place.”
“Hayden can come too!” Harris chirped. “The more the merrier.”
“Uh…” Shane looked to Hayden.
“Sounds like fun!” Hayden agreed. Ilya groaned internally.
They ended up meeting at a diner near campus. Shane and Hayden had beat them there and had already gotten a table big enough for the five of them. Troy and Harris took a seat on the opposite side of the table from Shane and Hayden. Ilya considered taking the open seat next to Shane but decided to play it safe and sit on the other side of Harris, directly across from Shane instead.
“I don’t think we were introduced properly,” Hayden reached his hand across the table to Harris. “I’m Hayden.”
Hayden, Troy, and Harris fell into conversation, but Ilya didn’t pay much attention. He watched Shane as he studied the menu, a slight wrinkle in his brow. “You are a very good player,” Ilya spoke quietly. “How long have you been playing?”
Shane looked up from the menu, meeting Ilya’s gaze. A small smile played on Ilya’s lips as he basked in Shane’s attention. Shane’s hair was mussed up, similar to how it was in the hallway the previous morning. His deep brown doe eyes somehow managed to sparkle under the fluorescent lights of the diner. His skin was still slightly flushed from the game, the light pink flush making the constellations of freckles adorning his cheeks and the bridge of his nose stand out. Once again, Ilya was taken aback by just how beautiful Shane was.
“Um, thank you,” Shane said, looking almost bashful as he accepted Ilya’s compliment. “I’ve been playing for as long as I remember. My dad used to play hockey. I think he put skates on my feet and stuck me on the ice the moment I learned how to walk.”
“I can tell.” Ilya watched as Shane’s eyes dropped back to the menu in front of him. He let a few beats of silence pass before he asked, “How come you do not play for school like your friend?”
Shane’s shoulders practically jumped up to his ears, tension flooding his body. Sensitive subject. “It’s complicated,” Shane said dismissively. “We don’t have to talk about it.”
Their waitress approached the table before Ilya could respond and placed a glass of water in front of everyone. Once she walked away again, Ilya attempted conversation with Shane again. “What is your major?”
Some of the tension visibly left Shane as he realized Ilya wasn’t going to push the hockey conversation, his shoulders slowly relaxing out of their hunched position. “Exercise Physiology,” Shane answered. “With a minor in Nutrition. What about you?”
“Ah, I am a double major. Communications and Digital Media.” Ilya picked up his water glass and took a sip, noting the way Shane’s eyes followed the glass to his lips. “What do you do with Exercise Physiology degree?”
“I’d become an Exercise Physiologist.”
Ilya stared at Shane as he took a drink of his own water. “Okay, smart guy, what does an Exercise Physiologist do, then?” Ilya asked.
“He’s gonna become my personal trainer, is what he’ll do,” Hayden butted into the conversation, leaning into Shane. “What is it you said you’ll do? Analyze my exercise and diet and design a fitness plan that meets my needs?” Hayden looked at Ilya. “Mr. Hockey Robot is going to turn me into Hockey Robot Jr.”
“Not a personal trainer, Hayd,” Shane said, his voice sounding slightly exasperated, like he had made this correction many times before. “But yes, basically I will analyze a patient’s fitness regimen and create a plan for either maintenance or to improve their health. With my minor in Nutrition, I can also help with diets and meal planning instead of only focusing on exercise.”
Ilya tried to pay attention to the words Shane was saying, he really did, but he only half-listened as he focused on Shane’s face while he spoke. His deep brown eyes twinkled as he talked, his full lips curved up in a small smile. Troy asked Shane another question and Hayden made a probably dumb comment and then Shane’s eyes met Ilya’s. Ilya smiled as Shane flushed a light pink under his attention. “What about you?” Shane asked. “What are you going to do with your degree?”
Ilya’s smile grew. “Become a menace on Twitter, probably.”
“You already are a menace on Twitter,” Harris replied.
The waitress came by the table again to take their order. They went around the table one-by-one, everyone ordering a burger and fries, except for Shane. Ilya watched as Shane frowned down at his menu until it was his turn. “Can I have the chicken Caesar salad please?” he ordered. “With no cheese, croutons, or dressing, please.”
“That’s just lettuce and chicken then, sugar,” the waitress said. “Would you like to substitute anything?”
“No, that’s okay, thank you.”
The waitress nodded and took their menus, telling them their food should be out shortly before she disappeared once more. True to her word, the food did come out quickly. All too soon, everyone finished eating and the waitress brought out the check. Ilya handed her his credit card, not bothering to look at the total.
“Thank you guys for inviting us,” Hayden said, standing from his chair and stretching. “And thanks for paying, Rozanov. Was nice of you.”
Ilya nodded once, his eyes floating from Hayden to Shane.
“Thank you,” Shane echoed. “For, uh, for everything.”
They said their goodbyes, Hayden offering everyone a fist bump before he left with Shane. Ilya leaned back against his chair and let out a breath. Silence fell over the table for a few moments before Troy broke it. “So… Are we going to address the elephant in the room or what?”
“Barrett, did you hit your head during your game? There is no elephant in this room.” Ilya looked at Troy, shooting him a concerned glance.
“No, Roz, it’s-” Troy grumbled a few words under his breath before he continued. “It’s just a saying. An elephant in a room would be large, obvious, and hard to ignore. Much like your crush on Shane Hollander.”
Ilya leaned back in his seat once more. “I do not know what you’re talking about.”
“Ilya, it’s so obvious that even I see it,” Harris said.
“Are you just trying to sleep with him?” Troy asked. “Because you know I don’t judge you about how active you are, but I’m pretty sure Hollander isn’t the hookup type and I really don’t want things to be awkward on the ice-”
“I am not,” Ilya interrupted. “I am not just trying to sleep with him. I am genuinely interested in him. I have a plan.”
“I knew you were scheming,” Troy muttered. “Alright, what do we need to do?”
Ilya tilted his head in confusion. “You want to help?”
“I’m not going to be able to talk you out of it, so I might as well try to make sure it doesn’t end in a huge disaster.” Harris nodded along as Troy spoke. “So, the plan?”
Ilya looked between his friends, a smile growing on his face. “So, the plan is…”
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