I tried to write hello

Finding magic and adventure in stupid, everyday things: Adult Life edition.

[sakura-rose12]

[kamijimoe]

[bastardofficial]

died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

[squareallworthy]

Do kids today even understand why podcasts are called podcasts?

[squareallworthy]

Well, you see, kids, almost twenty years ago Apple produced a portable audio player called – wait, I need to go back further.

[squareallworthy]

Okay, so in the 20th century, the new inventions of radio and television were known as broadcast media – no, wait, that’s not really the start either –

[squareallworthy]

Broadcasting originally refers to throwing, or casting, handfuls of seeds onto prepared ground, typically used with grain crops, which, uh –

[squareallworthy]

– the Agrucultural Revoution, which begain circa 10,000 BC in the Levant, was when humans began preserving seeds for replanting –

[hockeyheart]

[hockeyheart]

[gallusrostromegalus]

Look I don’t even know from sports but every time I check in on Hockey, they’re out doing something buckwild and guys,

Guys,

This is the Year For It.

Drop the Pucks Drop Them ALL. RIP OPEN THAT ENVELOPE AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF MADNESS

[roseofithaca]

Do you think Jesus ever got many carpenter requests after he started preaching? Like did anyone ever go up to him and be like; "My Lord! My Lord!" And the disciples are all: "The Master won't do anymore miracles today." But obviously Jesus is like; "Yes, my child?" And they just ask what his basic rate is to fix their door.

[sweetiepie08]

No one talks enough about the fact that Jesus had a day job.

[ranty9000]

He repaired the relationship between humanity and god, he also repaired the table in his friend Mary's house cuz it wobbled too much.

[firelordderpy]

“Jesus!”

“How can I help you my child?”

“So the Chair I got from you and your dad is great, but I tripped over it and it broke, I was hoping you could fix it?”

“Go home and be at peace, your chair is fixed.”

“Lord, did you really just use a miracle to fix his chair?”

“Luke my son, it was still under warranty.”

[tardigradetheking]

“honey that guy who made our table got crucified” 

[whitepeopletwitter]

[captainschmoe]

[eggings]

apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

[viostormcaller]

ITS BACK

[theseymourbirkhoff-deactivated2]

Andromache of Scythia

[knitmeapony]

I don’t know what kind of fucking genius suggested to Charlize Theron that she become more and more of an action star as she ages, or if she just reached a fuck it point of having enough star juice to realize her dreams in Hollywood, but whatever reason there is that I keep seeing her looking buff as shit and jaded as hell in monochrome tank tops is enough to give me hope that we are not in The Darkest Timeline. The Old Guard, Atomic blonde, Mad Max, this woman is 45 years old, wearing leather and doing her own stunts. Please give me another decade+ of her slowly getting more jacked until she, Lucy Lawless, Gina Carrera, and Linda Hamilton can give us some kind of super wild John Wick type of franchise that is 90% middle aged women doing hand to hand combat and 10% queer Romance.

[gayfandomblog]

[valtsv]

[nii--chan]

[forthegothicheroine]

You are Guinevere, Queen of the Britons and most beautiful woman in the known world. You were sold into a political marriage and queening is an arduous business. You could use some relief. Where do you turn for it?

Arthur

Pros:

Total package. Hell yeah.

No treason, no punishment for treason.

You’re hanging out with him all the time anyway, might as well give it a try.

Cons:

Created Antichrist incest baby.

Lancelot

Pros:

Will murder everyone if you ask him to

Cons:

Will murder everyone if you don’t ask him to

Gawain

Pros:

Solar powered, green energy (hehehe)

Let’s you call the shots

Into mmf threesomes

Cons

Prone to blood feuds

You have to deal with his shitty family

Mordred

Pros

Was your lover in the first written version so you’ll be keeping it old school

Cons

Is antichrist incest baby

Agravain

Pros

Is known as “the handsome”

In Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, is described as “loyal”

Cons

Every other version says he sucks.

Gaheris

Pros:

Arthur married him to some lady he barely knew so he’ll probably be up for it

Cons:

Killed mother in psycho-sexual jealous rage, then framed and murdered her lover for it

Gareth

Pros:

Nothing really bad to say about him

Cons:

In love with Lancelot

Bors

Pros:

Technical winner of the Grail Quest

Will not cheat on you with a shape changed demon

Cons:

Thinks you are a shape changed demon

Galahad

Pros:

Greatest Mary Sue in the land

Cons

Will say no

What if he doesn’t say no?  What if he gives in to lust and you’ve effectively destroyed him?  Could you ever live with yourself again?

Percival

Pros:

Is hot in a Tarzan kinda way.

Cons:

Dumb as a box of rocks.

Kay

Pros:

You at least know who he is because of the Disney movie

Cons:

Everything else

Tristan

Pros:

Handsome

Hopeless romantic

Cons:

Psychopath

Dinadan

Pros:

Girls dig funny guys

Cons:

If you break up, will write a Taylor Swift style song about you.

Dagonet

Pros:

Girls dig funny guys

Cons:

Is literally a jester someone knighted as a joke

Bedivere

Pros:

Canonically the most handsome knight

Cons:

When he’s the last one left standing at the final battle and Arthur gives him his sword to throw away, it will be really awkward if he has to avoid confessing that he banged his wife.

Morgan le Fay

Pros:

Will probably be up for it.

Cons:

If she isn’t up for it, will never let you live it down.

[i-am-wyrmdrake]

@we-are-knight

[i-am-venomancer]

Gonna slip this away for campaign notes…

[therookieking412]

At the end of the day, we have to remember

Fakir is still a

Bastard

Rue is still a

Bitch

Mytho is just

A guy

And Ahiru is a

Precious baby who did nothing wrong and I love her 💕💕💕

[sapphicseance]

i lied i don’t like sex now watch barbie of swan lake with me 

[gay-irl]

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

[transcribed-described]

[ID: a tiktok by @/christiantheshowm, with a caption that reads “Millennials/Gen Z’s as Therapists:” and is a conversation between a therapist and his patient. The therapist is a black man with a beard, wearing a suit and round glasses. the patient is a black man lying down on a couch with one hand resting on his head. he is also wearing a white hoodie. the hoodie is up and the drawstrings are pulled tightly so that only his eyes, nose, and mouth are shown.]

Transcript:

Therapist: So how have things been?

Patient: Maybe I was just put on this earth just to die.

Therapist: Ok.

Patient: Like I’m not meant to find love or be happy.

Therapist: I got you.

Patient: Like I’m just supposed to die.

(the patient turns to the therapist who nods. the camera zooms in.)

Therapist (putting a pen up by his mouth): It do be like that sometimes.

Patient: It do be like that sometimes.

(the camera zooms in more)

Therapist: But not all the time.

[demonicstain]

That actually made me feel better.

[feedyourlocalgoth]

Why did this like bring a tear to me eyes