Prof. Redwood's Blog

⚠️ POKÉPHILIA WARNING ⚠️ 18+ Sideblog to @zork-dork Welcome to my blog, where I hope to answer all of your burning questions about Pokémon behavior and biology! I specialize in Pokémon reproduction and sexuality, so expect me to focus on that!

[professor-redwood]

About Fay & Me

(OOC: this is a sideblog to @zork-dork, pretty much all the same rules and limits apply here!)

(Warning for unreality because most of this blog is run in-character!)

Hi everyone! I figured I should probably start this blog by telling you all what it's about.

First of all, let me clarify that "Redwood" isn't my real name. I just figured that, with how prevalent tree names seem to be among professors, it would be a fitting alias. The reason I'm keeping my real name a secret is just to keep this separate from my professional career, but rest assured I'm a certified expert when it comes to the topics I plan to cover on this blog! I want this to be a safe, anonymous place where we can discuss things most people might feel a little embarrassed to talk about openly.

As for the source of my expertise, I've done (and still do) plenty of research on the matter myself, and I even teach up-and-coming Pokémon trainers and breeders at a well-known college that I obviously can't name here. As my students can confirm, I'm a bit of a private man, but that doesn't mean I'm not approachable.

Oh, by the way, you might see some posts from my Pokémon partner, who's also my research and teaching assistant; and even when she's not the one typing, I tend to ask for her input. You can call her Fay! She's a Delphox now, but she and I have been together since we were small and been sexually active since I was a teenager and she was a Braixen. We may not be a couple in the traditional sense, but in many ways we might as well be! In fact, our relationship is what made me want to study such an underappreciated aspect of Pokémon life. I'm fully aware that this subject matter isn't for everyone, but if you're reading this you must be at least a little open to it!

I'm not sure what else to add at this point. Feel free to ask any burning questions you might have about Pokémon sexuality, and I'll tell you what I know. You can even ask about my own experiences with Fay, but keep in mind I'm not going to give out any personal information. That should about cover it! I hope you enjoy reading our blog and learn a thing or two while you're at it.

- Prof. Redwood

I don't have much to add here, the professor has covered all the important bits! All I can say is keep an eye out for anything posted in orange or tagged with #fayposting, because that's mine!~

- Fay

[super-paper-mario-lover]

Marry your pokemon

No, not so you can legally fuck them. That's just an added benefit.

But to see unbridled joy on your best friend's face when you propose.

So you can spend your life with your starter.

To settle down and have litters/broods/clutches of baby pokemon.

Cuddle every night, and wake up being spooned in the morning.

Hearing clingy noises when you get ready for work.

[eiroru]

[syrupyapple]

Always let your Pokémon date sit at the table when eating dinner as long as you have a suitable chair just so even the big Pokémon don't have to just stand. That's rude (even if they don't mind they deserve to sit with you) while staring at each others eyes when eating together.

[ra1ny-trainer]

Been thinking about just being domestic with your pokemon partners y’know?

Like simple little things, taking your Audino to the grocery store with you and letting her help you pick out berries with her feelers. She always picks out ones you like or your other pokemon would like because she knows your Rhyhorn loves the persim berries because of their earthy taste and you prefer the pecha berries because of how sweet they are.

Or having your pokemon help cook, even if it just means grabbing ingredients because they don’t have opposable thumbs, watching you eagerly as you cut up chunks of meat to throw in a pan. Your Sizzlipede helps stoke the fire and make sure your dinner doesn’t burn while your attention is away.

Or even just play wrestling in the grass with your Growlithe in the open field behind your house. It’s better exercise sometimes than battling, and sometimes when you beat him, he gets pouty so you have to give him a bunch of kisses to make up for it

I really just love the idea of getting to live your life with your partners, not focused on battling or anything, just enjoying your time together

[fiahyperspaceace]

The way Fiammetta's tail swishes and swings whilst she runs is kind of mesmerising...

[professor-redwood]

Does her tail also do this twitching motion when something catches her attention? It's so cute when Fay's does.

[fiahyperspaceace]

That it does, Fiammetta's ears also perk up a bit, oh here she comes now.

I felt my ears burning, are you talking about me? I hope you've been saying nice things!

Oh hello professor!

[professor-redwood]

Hello, Fiammetta! You're not the only one who felt their ears burning, it seems.

Hey, you two. Nice to hear from you more directly! Redwood is right, it's probably just one of those things we do naturally.

[fiahyperspaceace]

The way Fiammetta's tail swishes and swings whilst she runs is kind of mesmerising...

[professor-redwood]

Does her tail also do this twitching motion when something catches her attention? It's so cute when Fay's does.

[zork-dork]

(Saw someone else do it, and while it's pretty much summed up in my intro post, I figured why not say it again. I know DNIs don't really work because I can't control who sees my posts, but here we go.

(Antis are not welcome on this blog. I'm vanilla af compared to a lot of folks in this sphere but I don't judge anyone for what fiction they enjoy. If you enjoy anything involving children or animals IRL though, fuck off, please and thank you.

(Obviously racists, sexists, LGBT-phobes (and fetishizers), islamophobes, antisemites, etc. aren't welcome either, but that goes without saying. What apparently doesn't is that for me this includes people who genuinely hate any race or gender. And no, I'm not talking about silly jokes or talking about discrimination you face or saying "cracker" or whatever, I mean actual visceral hatred or thinking that those groups are bad by default.

(I'd also prefer it if radqueers, "TMA"/"TME" users, MOGAI supporters, and microlabel/neopronoun supporters stay away.

(Therians, otherkin and the like also make me uncomfortable. I get that not all of you actually identify as a character or creature but I'm still iffy on it.)

[professor-redwood]

This isn't my usual sphere (I'm definitely not entirely against it though, Its honestly strangely heartwarming to see how deep and connected bonds are between people and their partner pokemon and vice versa and I can't say in all honesty if one of my partners ever felt similar I wouldn't give it a shot) so this literally might be the stupidest/most crass/simplest question you've ever been asked but do humans have an egg group? I've heard conflicting info about how they're classified with some saying they don't and some saying they do. I reckon that a professor as "experienced" in this field of study as you are, is probably the best one to ask.

Thank you, Anon

Hello Anon. Let me start by saying I appreciate you keeping an open mind!

As for your question, it's not as basic or simple as you might think, and the conflicting information you've heard is for good reason. Research into human-Pokémon reproductive compatibility, and how we do or don't fit into the egg-group categorization system, is actually inconclusive as of me writing this.

While there have been some reports of humans impregnating Pokémon and vice versa, these have never been officially confirmed, let alone reproduced (no pun intended) in an experimental setting. Far be it from me to dismiss all those reports as mere rumors, but the evidence they provide is anecdotal at best. Besides, if even a few of them are to be believed, that would put humans in multiple egg groups simultaneously - or, as some of my colleagues suggest, individual humans might fall into different egg groups, with most falling into none at all. Bottom line, we don't think humans as a whole fit into any one egg group.

On that note: despite what the name implies, Pokémon in the "Human-Like" egg group aren't necessarily more likely to produce offspring with humans. They do have a higher rate of being attracted to us (and us being attracted to them), but that can be explained by the fact that all Pokémon are at least a little biased in favor of potential partners with a body plan similar to their own. It's purely psychological, not an indication of what is or isn't possible.

So while I can't conclusively say humans don't fit into an egg group, it's unlikely at best. That's part of why I and many other experts believe it's normal and even healthy for young trainers to sexually experiment with their starters; they actually risk fewer long-term consequences that way, as long as it's all done responsibly.

- Prof. Redwood

And if it were possible between the professor and me, however small the odds, there's no way we wouldn't have at least a dozen eggs by now. We haven't exactly been careful. The thought of it happening doesn't sound bad though...

- Fay

[professor-redwood]

Hey professor!

Gotta pokébiology question for ya…

So I did a little research into cock size since my Whirlipede was close to evolving and I wanted to know what I’d be getting into with him…

Now that he’s evolved though he’s much bigger than any I’ve seen in reports or porn…

Is that because he’s shiny or am I just lucky cuz he’s very well endowed? (And tastes incredible✨)

(Also dw I’ve been microdosing his poison since I got him to increase my resistance so it doesn’t affect me as bad just in case something happens while we’re going at it~)

Hello!

I must admit, when I first heard about how popular Scolipede are in certain circles, I was surprised to say the least. Bug types don't exactly strike me as ideal partners in that sense, but I suppose love can conquer even the tallest of species barriers.

As with any other part of their bodies, Pokémon vary greatly when it comes to penis size. It depends on genetics, nutrition, and a long list of other factors. In essence, though, you really are just lucky!

With how well-endowed even the average Scolipede is, I feel obligated to warn you that regular intercourse may be difficult, if not impossible. I'm glad to hear his poison won't be much of an issue, but there's not much you can do about basic physical limitations. You may have to resort to other methods of stimulating each other, or at least taking certain precautions such as limiting how deeply he can penetrate you.

- Prof. Redwood

[professor-redwood]

Hi professer, cinderace anon again.

I did try one of your suggestions, specifically teaching him to clean up after himself and its mostly worked great! However i do have a bit of a new problem, now my cinderace wont do anything if im not in the bathroom with him, like he'll just kind of stand there and look down dejectedly and whimper a bit before walking out to me and tugging on my shirt to try and get me to go with him.

Now i personally dont mind being with him whilr he masturbates, but i am worried this behavoir might lead to him getting really pent up while im at work. Thanks in advance professor!

Hello again!

To be honest, I probably should have considered this possibility. Like humans, some Pokémon may be able to change one aspect of their habits, but become all the more attached to another. In this case, your Cinderace has learned to limit his... activities to a time and place where a mess can be avoided, but in exchange he now only wants to engage in such activities with you present.

If it wasn't already obvious, this might suggest some degree of sexual attraction to or interest in you, but that doesn't have to be the case. I understand it may be awkward to ask him about that outright, but you could always try to gauge his reaction to seeing you in a more seductive outfit or position - although an open conversation is still the best way to be certain about anything.

Either way, it may help to give him something of yours, like a piece of clothing or even a picture of yourself. Whether to make him feel less alone or to give him something to, er, focus his desires on, it might help him tend to his needs in your absence.

- Prof. Redwood

[professor-redwood]

Hey Professor and Fay, it's James from Johto.

Sorry for the long absence of updates, I got distracted by a few things:

First off, I've learned Zoroark's name is Lilly and what happened to her trainer. After a... We'll call it a long walk in the pasture when my little sis and I stayed at the ranch I work at, Lilly told me her trainer was killed by some man in a strange uniform. It didn't ring any bells when she described how it looked, but she also said that the man challenged her trainer to a double battle and caught one of her trainers' other Pokemon in a ball.

That shouldn't happen right? You can't catch Pokemon when they're already part of a team. Lilly said the man had a machine on his arm, and that might be it?

Second, Spark, my Heracross, helped my little sis beat the gym in Goldenrod. It was a tough fight, especially when Patch (sis' Pachirisu) got caught up in an Attract by the leaders Tauros. I had to give my little sis the pokè talk, and she learned that Pokemon have those kinds of urges and that's why Patch and Spark get along so well.

She seemed to understand. Oh, her Poliwag evolved into a Poliwhirl during the fight as well, so that was an experience.

Lastly, I've been comforting Lilly more. Got her a little handheld chalk board to talk to me, told her about y'all, and she and I have been "taking walks" when we can. She's honestly lovely, and I'm happy I took your advice.

I'll try and keep you updated, but do you know anything about anyone able to just catch Pokemon who are already on teams?

-James from Johto

Hello again, James. It's good to hear from you again, and I'm sorry for the delay on my end as well.

That said, I'm both glad and saddened that our suspicions about Lilly turned out to be true. There are a number of criminal organizations that fit your description that I can name off the top of my head, but I won't mention them here for fear of drawing their attention. I'd hate for this post to be traced back to you somehow.

Your point about them capturing another trainer's Pokémon is also valid. The way a normal ball works means the Pokémon can choose to enter or leave as they wish, usually following their trainer's command out of courtesy, but there are some... off-market variants and dubiously legal devices that can override both trainer registration and the Pokémon's own consent.

I've heard of those. It's... a frightening thought, even more so for us than for you trainers. Poor Lilly. Mental health resources for Pokémon aren't as elaborate or widely available as they are for humans, but they do exist. Maybe you could ask to get Lilly an appointment the next time you're at a Pokémon Center.

Fay has a good point. It can't hurt to let her talk to a professional, even if she doesn't need therapy outright.

Congratulations on your victory in Goldenrod City, though, and on Poliwhirl's evolution. Even with everything going on, you're still getting things done! I can imagine giving your sister that talk must have been awkward, especially after seeing such an interaction between Pokémon of such different sizes. Now that she's more aware, do you think there will be a time you'll tell her about your interactions with Lilly (if you haven't already)?

Once again, I apologize for my late response. I can only hope you, your sister and both your Pokémon have been all right in the meantime.

- Prof. Redwood & Fay

[urielmanx7]

Delphox study.

[professor-redwood]

For the ask meme, 32 for Fay? Super curious if pokemon also enjoy porn too

32: Do you like porn or erotica?

Definitely. Redwood and I watch it together sometimes for inspiration, and when he isn't around, I have a few bookmarked on our laptop just for myself. It's usually human-on-Pokémon, but there are a few human-on-human and Pokémon-on-Pokémon videos we've returned to now and then. I could get into the roleplay scenarios that has led to, but I'll leave that for some later time.

If not for his career and the risk of someone recognizing either of us, we might have recorded some ourselves.

- Fay

[dontmindmeinthegutter-deactivat]

NSFW ASK GAME that’s inclusive of my virgins and sluts-in-theory-but-not-in-practice!

(If you’re going to reblog, you have to send the person you’re reblogging it from a question or two first. Internet etiquette, be nice to each other u gremlins!!!)

Are you more kinky, or more vanilla?

Crops, floggers, or paddles?

What fictional characters are you most into right now? And/or what fantasies do you have with them?

Do you have any sex toys?

Are you a monsterfucker? What’s your favourite monster?

Do you think you’re a top or a bottom? A dom or a sub? Or a switch/verse?

What is your favourite sexual scenario you’ve ever come up with?

Are you into more taboo kinks (watersports, feet, cnc, etc?)

Are you into pet play? If so, what type of pet are you?

What do you think your favourite position would be?

Do you have something you haven’t tried yet, but you still KNOW you’ll like?

Do you have something you haven’t tried yet, but you still KNOW you’ll dislike?

Are you a brat or are you good?

Do people assume you have more experience than you do?

Is there a thing that people do that makes you go absolutely crazy?

If you could have sex without any consequences or restrictions at all (eg. no matter how risky it is you can’t die or be hurt - more than you want to be, that is, wink wonk - and you could fit comically huge things inside you without issue), what would you do?

 Do you think you’ll prefer to give or recieve oral? (be honest, no judgement here!)

What title do you think you prefer? (eg: sir, puppy, master, slave, etc)

If money wasn’t an issue, how many sex toys would you have and what would they be?

Do you have any kinks or fetishes you really didn’t expect to be into?

What is a popular kink that you hate/don’t Get™?

Have you ever tasted yourself? Do you like how you taste?

Do you shave or let it grow?

Are you into humiliation and/or degradation?

Do you pretend someone is with you when you masturbate? (Eg. showing off for an imaginary dom)

How often do you masturbate?

Have you ever been walked in on?

How easily embarrassed are you?

What’s the horniest you’ve ever been? What did you do about it?

What’s your favourite kind of lingerie?

Do you like to be overstimulated?

Do you like porn or erotica?

Have you ever masturbated on camera/call before?

What’s your favourite part of your body?

Do you like to watch/see yourself while you do it?

Do you have a partner, or multiple partners? (this is just a free chance for you to gush about them if you do 💖)

If you have a partner, what would you do if you were with them right now?

Do you have a song that gets you in the mood?

What’s a kink you only like in specific contexts/circumstances?

Do you like penetration?

Do you like anal?

If you do want to have sex, how do you want your first time to go?

What are you looking forward to most about having sex?

Do you cum quickly or does it take longer?

How much self control do you have? Can you edge/deny yourself for a long time?

Are you loud?

Do you enjoy sexting?

Are you a “try anything once” kind of person, or do you know exactly what you want and don’t want?

What is your main masturbation fantasy at the moment?

Ask whatever you want!

[scaviogifs]

#0654 - Braixen

[scaviogifs]

#0655 - Dephlox