Bees?

bees. 20’s. dyke.

[knightclubbing]

having to stop your conversation with a coworker when a customer walks in has the same vibe as two knights talking ildly on guard duty who have to quickly shut up and resume their positions as the king walks by. at least. i think so

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[pondwitch]

cool new tumblr trend : “goodposting”

its when you share fun interesting things in a calm and friendly way

[powerburial]

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

[pondwitch]

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lakevida]

i love poison omelette

[the-bone-thief]

-1

[skeletor-at-the-skele-store]

-1

[sanleigh]

-1

[lakevida]

got some kick to it i tell you what

[jungwildeandfree]

so this guy right he makes ancient egyptian themed furry costumes. he makes all kinds but mostly he specializes in Horus heads. it's his passion really. he loves to make the beautiful falcon head of the Sun God. anyway so he's at a con one day and he sees this whole bunch of people in middle kingdom dress with these indistinguishable animal heads. he's like. oh man these folks could really use a new source, i can hardly tell what animal those are! so he goes over and he says "hey guys! i see you are into ancient egyptian mythological themed furry costumes--if any of you are interested in being the radiant Son of Ra, I am the BEST in the business!"

and the group of people look at each other, then at him. awkward. finally one of them says: "uh. no thanks. we're all Set."

[s-cullayy]

[thatlittleegyptologist]

This has been sent to me four times today, so I'm condemning OP to be judged by the 42 and fall into Nuun.

[datundit]

I think every laugh will make OP’s heart a bit lighter.

@thatlittleegyptologist

Judge OP’s heart

I laughed, I lighten his heart.

His heart shall be heavier for this.

Voting ended onMar 1

[sunbentshadows]

[chronographia]

That tag looked so much like a bumpersticker that I went ahead and typeset it. And then I got carried away, and did two other variants because the point of having an arts degree is the ability to inflict colors and shapes on the world at large. Congratulations and my sincere apologies, @jungwildeandfree .

(Relatedly, 2.5 x 8 is a weird aspect ratio to fit text to, especially when it wants three line breaks for readability.)

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

[gothicprep]

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

[smeemos]

No Dacula here..... smeemo doesn't even have teeth smeemo promises (lying)

[rickybabyboy]

i believe you (truthful)

[smeemos]

SMEEMO UPSIDE DOWN DACULA ATTACKULA

[rickybabyboy]

#SCARY

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[it-appears-that-bruno-has-deact]

[tranthony]

grout white shark

[loveridden1999]

now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

[pangur-and-grim]

accidentally stayed up until 2. they got so tired waiting for me to go to sleep

[pangur-and-grim]

[tosharchives]

i have the kind of melancholy that attracts me to large bodies of water.

[roscolux]

need to beam this tweet directly into everyone's minds right now

[purplesaline]

Melon collies

[sahonithereadwolf]

I can no longer feel the infinite sadness

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.