Hey bitches and bros and non-binary hoes

Call me Vix (She/her) | This is a multifandom blog, I write imagines and a lil' bit of fanfiction. Requests are open! Masterlist

[ben10-lostandfound]

Attention, Lost and Found Followers!

Go show OG character designer Dave Johnson some love, he's began sharing more concept art from the Original Series!

@TheDevilpig on Twitter

Examples of newly revealed art: Unused Stinkfly, Ghostfreak, Heatblast and Grey Matter designs.

[ben10-lostandfound]

I hate to do this, but I'm running out of options.

My family is really struggling. Through a lapse in judgement on my father's part, we let our food stamp case go at a poor time, and we've been unsuccessful at renewing it. As a result, we're often barely able to afford food between our rent and monthly expenses. Neither I nor my mom is able to work. My dad only makes 475 a week, and our rent is 595 a month so it takes two checks just to pay it.

Dad's set up for early retirement where we'll be receiving social security checks, but that's not until late October, which doesn't help us in the now.

Donate here, help keep us afloat until then.

[mistersarcasticccc]

Dick: Blue M&Ms are the best. Jason: whAT IS THIS SLANDER? Dick: What about it? They are. Jason: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER! Jason: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST! Dick: YEAH? WELL YOUR DAD'S A H0! Wally: First, you have the same Dad. Second They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything. Tim: I like the yellow ones. Dick and Jason: SHUT THE F*CK YOUR MOUTH!

[purple-vixen]

I have a very important question to the Batman fandom

Do yall think Jason mouths shooting sounds whenever he's using his pistols in combat?

I can totally picture him doing that

Like imagine jason fighting against penguin or something and he forgets his comm open and babs and everyone on the field along with jason ends up hearing him go "pew pew pew" every time he starts shooting

[renerosin]

@/felipedrugovich: Formula 2 Championship in our hands 🏆 🇧🇷

[purple-vixen]

┏┓ Nessa​ / In this

┃┃╱╲ casa​ / house

┃╱╱╲╲ nós​ / we

╱╱╭╮╲╲ servimos​ / stan

▔▏┗┛▕▔ e amamos​ / and cherish

╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲​

FELIPE DRUGOVICH

╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲​

▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛ ▕▔

[lovelytsunoda]

lucky people // mick schumacher

summary: the adventures of bookworm-youtuber y/n and her adorable f1 driver boyfriend mick

(shameless little plug for my own underused and somewhat forgotten about book-blr @/ cheerful-chamomile-pages)

dedicated to @flannel-cures and @paddockbunny who helped me make the final decision on whether this would be about mick or charles : )

i can see them meeting through gina (best friends brother trope anybody)

she was already decently popular on the bookworm side of youtube without mick, but once she was spotted attending a few events on the german's arm, she instantly became more interesting to a whole different crowd

obviously she's trying to keep her hobby (and almost possibly maybe side hustle) and her love life apart, but they truly are the cutest couple on the internet

she's sitting in her cute little library corner , streaming her new video live for some of her subscribers before she edits it and posts it properly to youtube.

"so i hate calling it a tbr because that just adds so much pressure and the way college is going for me right now guys, i genuinely have no idea if i will make it through all of these."

"so the first one is 'as good as dead' by holly jackson. i've been working my way through this series for a while and i finally bought this one a few months ago but life got busy and i just didn't get around to it but im really excited. this one is the grand conclusion to the good girls guide to murder trilogy and i can't wait to read about pip and ravi one last time."

and cue angie bounding into the room, cutting in front of the camera and knocking the book out of her hands as she pounces on y/n

mick is laughing in the background, super self conscious about appearing on the camera.

the chat goes MENTAL

"is that angie? does this mean mick is home?" "show mick!"

"mick," she says with a laugh, scratching angie behind the ears and looking up at the driver. "the fans want to see you."

"is that okay?" mick asks before moving further into the room, passing her the mug of hot chocolate that he had been planning on just leaving on the IKEA end table

"of course." she moves over on the carpet to make more room. "you can hold my stack of books."

"oh, great." he jokes as she passes him the stack, pressing a kiss to his cheek

"this is my boyfriend, mick. he's an angel on earth and he's going to help me film the rest of this."

cue mick shyly waving at the camera as y/n grabs one of the books from the top of the stack

"you already know that i will read anything that lauren asher writes. i have one book left in the dirty air series that i still need to finish, and this one is all about santiago, who was introduced as noah's teammate and mayas brother in the beginning of the series. i truly don't want this series to end, but this book includes grumpy x sunshine and fake dating, so im very excited to see what santi and chloe bring to the dirty air universe."

and mick is just watching her with this completely lovestruck expression

the chat goes MENTAL talking about how cute the couple is and how they all wish they had a mick (me too besties)

he's definitely present in the next video, entitled "my boyfriend and i go book shopping"

which is more like y/n just dragging mick around barnes and noble while she prepares to buy more books than she could afford (especially since she already has so many books at home)

mick is helping her look, trying to pick up books he thinks she'd like or has heard her talk about before

"babe, this book is basically porn. there's literally a half dressed cop on the front cover."

"i would have thought that the fact that it's called 'frisk me' would have given it away. the second one is worse, it's called 'cuff me'."

"i worry for your mental state sometimes, schatzi."

"what else am i supposed to do while you're gone, baby?"

that line was edited out of the final version

like the gentleman that he is, mick pays for all of the books

*cue the entire comment section swooning*

they do one video called "my boyfriend guesses the plot of my books based solely on the contents of the front cover"

"uhm im gonna take a wild guess and say that one's about death of some kind. maybe a murder?"

"that one's porn. one hundred percent. there's a fully shirtless man with a smolder and bad tattoos on the front cover. wait, there's a formula one car as well? oh dear god, this isn't what your version looks like!"

"because i bought the special editions with the pretty covers, baby. and this one does have a plot. this one made me cry, and you had to hold me for like an hour and a half while i recovered."

he definitely bought her a copy of her favorite romance book for their anniversary and went through and annotated it

paying special attention to all of the smutty parts that he wants to recreate

buddy reads with mick where they read the same book and then film a video where they both review it

the cutest couple on bookstagram

BONUS MATERIAL:

[purple-vixen]

I didn't know I needed booktuber!reader/Mick until I actually had booktuber!reader/Mick

[everythingfox]

“Noodle has a deep meow”

(via)

[purple-vixen]

I would die for Noodle

[purple-vixen]

I'm feeling like the main character from a chick flick rn

There was a concert at my town's square tonight and I saw this very cute boy. I bought a candy bar, taped a napkin with my number written on it and delivered it to him. He was very kind and he hugged me saying that he'd text me later and his friends gave me a fistbumps and told me I was the coolest person in there

[ameba-from-space]

[illicitlimerence-writes]

karting queen | c. leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

word count: 1.9k words

request: yes by anon: “can i request an imagine where charles and reader are taking their daughter karting and charles gets all emotional when he sees his little princess in the podium”

warnings: kids! maybe language. not proofread! this is part of the 'magic hour' series!! so pls read those before reading this one<3

a/n: i’m so sorry i’ve been missing!!!!!! last week i went away on a trip (my first time on a plane!) and had no time to write, but i promise i’ve been writing every change i get<33

my masterlist / part one / part two / part three / part four

“diane, we need to leave now!”

“i can’t find my helmet!” 

“did you check inside your closet?” you raised an eyebrow, hearing her footsteps running around her bedroom.

“it’s not here!” she replied, you sighed, walking to the living room, after a few seconds of scanning the room you shook your head. “i left it on my desk,” she said once she walked down the stairs, zipping up her racing suit. you always told her she could change when you arrived at the track, but she liked leaving the house ready.

“trophy room?” you suggested, throwing an arm over her shoulders, you leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “maybe you can use another one, just this once,” you told her as you walked to charles’ study, also known as ‘trophy room’ as it was the place where he kept his most beloved helmets, trophies, and other important items. she shook her head, you ran your fingers through her hair. “huh,” you frowned as you didn’t spot it there either. just then, a loud thud came from upstairs. 

“he’s dead.” she declared, narrowing her eyes. “i’ll kill him-”

“you’re the one who wanted a baby brother,” you reminded her, watching your seven-year-old little teenager run towards her brother’s room. you went after her, arriving just in time to see your two-year-old boy, jules, push the visor up. he was wearing diane’s helmet, one she’d designed herself, the colors matching the suit she wore. 

“di!” he smiled, “race you,”

“why does he have to be so cute?” she grunted, her annoyance disappearing at her brother’s toothy grin. 

“now you know what it’s like for your dad and i,” you smiled as diane walked to jules and sat next to him, hugging the little boy. 

-

after a car ride to the track, diane helped you with jules, holding his hand as you carried her kart.

normally you’d have charles by your side, helping you, but he was away at the time, so it was just the three of you. he was bummed he had to miss diane’s first (unofficial) race. the girls she’d be competing against were all girls you met throughout the years, some did it for fun, and others, like diane herself, took it more seriously. 

“you ready, bub?” you asked her, finishing braiding her hair to get it away from her face. she nodded, handing you a plastic hair tie. “nervous?” she shook her head, “then why have you been so quiet?” you asked, placing your hands on her shoulders. 

“i wish daddy were here,” she sighed, from over her shoulder you saw her playing with her fingers.

“i know, sweets. i know he wants to be here as well,” you reminded her, kissing her cheek. “but we can call him tonight, and you can tell him how it went, how does that sound?”

“has he sent pictures of magic hour yet?” she asked. whenever charles left home, diane made him promise to send photos, so she knew he was thinking of her. 

“he has. i was going to show them last night, but you fell asleep before i had a chance to.” you smiled, grabbing your phone and searching for the pictures. one for each day he’d been away. four pictures. 

“where is he?” she asked.

“new york. you can see the statue of liberty… right there,” you pointed, zooming in on the photograph.

“he’s very far away,” she noticed.

“he is. but he’s coming back soon, you know that.”

“i know,” she did. however, no matter how much time passed, it still hurt that she couldn’t have her father present when she needed him the most.

“come on, now, we have to get everything ready.” you helped her stand up, giving her a quick hug. “you’re finished with your snacks, julie?” you asked the young boy, who was sipping from the juice you’d packed. “that’s my good boy. let’s go,” you grabbed his hand, the other one over diane’s shoulders as you walked to the track. 

-

diane sat on her kart, you could see her staring at the lights, waiting for them to go out. you held jules with one hand, the other one holding your phone so you could show charles the race when he arrived. jules was easily distracted by everything going on around him, so you were used to his head whipping around every few seconds. it was surprising when he started kicking his legs and moving his arms. 

“it’s almost time, julie,” you told him. “is that why you’re so excited? you like the sound, too?” you smiled, looking at your boy, but he was looking somewhere behind you. 

he let out a loud, excited scream. you smiled at the sound, turning around to see what had caused such a reaction.

of course.

charles was rushing to you with a big grin on his face, a relieved look in his eyes. 

“what are you doing here?” you asked, letting jules down, who ran to charles as soon as his tiny feet hit the ground.

“i thought i wouldn’t make it in time,” he sighed, his chest rising with each breath he took. he leaned down to grab jules, hugging him tight against himself, kissing all over his face, his head.

“you literally just made it,” you chuckled, extending your arms to wrap them around both of your boys. “why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” 

“it was a surprise. for all of you.” he smiled, kissing your cheek. you bit your lip, shaking your head in disbelief. 

“you’re unbelievable,” you told him, turning your head to the side, “it’s time,” you said, approaching the barriers. he stood next to you, with jules between the both of you, and took his phone out, ready to record everything. 

throughout the years you’d gotten used to all of charles’ reactions whilst watching a race. whether it was watching his younger brother, or his own daughter. he’d hiss, wince and flinch with every turn, he’d tap his fingers on whatever surface was in front of him, and mumble under his breath. 

“calm down. it’s karting.” you whispered.

“it’s her first race.” he widened his eyes, justifying his excitement. “and she’s gonna win,”

“she’s second,” you told him.

“she’s gonna win.” he declared. you smiled, turning your head back to the track. 

-

and she won. diane was so excited when she jumped out of her kart. she ran to her friends, hugging all of them, the girls formed a big circle around diane. once all the girls went to their parents, you approached diane, with jules in your arms.

“you were amazing, baby!” you smiled, letting her run to you and wrap her arms around you, her face hidden in your stomach.

“good di!” jules smiled, too.

“thank you mommy. thank you julie,” she grinned, her cheeks a light pink, the baby hairs sticking to the side of her face from the sweat. 

“no hug for me?” charles asked, standing behind diane. of course he had to make a grand entrance. diane’s eyes widened once she recognized charles’ voice, she turned her head and ran to her father, who was crouching to be at eye level with her.

“you came!” she wrapped her arms around his neck, throwing the colorful helmet to the side. to get a better grip on him.

“of course i’m here. i wouldn’t miss this for anything,” he smiled, holding his little girl close to himself. “you were amazing. i knew you could do it, my sweet girl.” 

“i was thinking about everything you’ve told me! to keep my head down so i could go faster, and be aware of things around me, and-” she rambled on, her words almost incoherent, the shine in her eyes was equal to the one in charles’ own. 

“i know, i noticed. you’re going to be a great racer, you already are.” he said, holding her face in his hands, “the best.”

“because i have you with me!” diane smiled, “and you are the best, too!” 

watching the two of them hug was a sight that you could never get tired of. 

“diane! come look at this!” one of the girls called for her, and your girl turned around, seeing a podium set up for them. although, instead of the usual three steps, there were ten. one for each girl that raced that evening. 

diane ran to her friends, and they all started talking and pointing at it, you walked to charles sliding your free arm around his waist. 

“we didn’t set this up,” you raised an eyebrow, charles’ knowing smile was enough answer for you. 

“just a little something for our little champion and her friends,” he said, taking jules from your arms and hugging him close.

“you can’t do this every time she wins. or loses,” you reminded him.

“i know. but it’s her first race. i had to do something special.” he threw an arm over your shoulders. you placed your head on his shoulder, watching as all the girls stepped up on their spots. when it was time for diane to rush to the top step, you pulled out your phone and started recording. 

the other girls cheered loudly for her, just like they’d done for the others. jules clapped, kicking his legs as his sister lifted a trophy. you also yelled and cheered, a big smile on your face. turning to your side, you noticed that charles was very quiet.

“charles,” you whispered, a soft look in your eyes as you watched the tears welling up in his eyes.

“i know. i’m overreacting, but i-”

“hey, no, it’s okay. trust me, i’m trying to keep composure,” you chuckled, watching all the girls hug each other.

“that’s our little champion,” he whispered, moving his head to kiss your forehead. “i can’t wait to see what her future holds,”

“let’s just focus on the present, yeah? the future can wait.”

“yeah. right now i just want to hold her and tell her how proud i am,”

“she already knows that,” you reminded him.

“still,” he shrugged. “and you, little jules, you already know what you want to be when you grow up?” he asked his youngest child.

“yeah! ‘tronaut!” 

“an astronaut?” you asked, “that sounds amazing, baby,”

“mommy! mommy, daddy! look,” diane ran towards you, pointing at the sky. “it’s time!” she jumped up and down, “magic hour!”

“magic hour!” jules repeated, kicking his legs to be set down. diane grabbed his hand and they both ran towards the podium, which had the perfect background.

“do you think she’ll ever get tired of magic hour?” charles asked.

“no. she always stares at it desperately when you’re away. and feels relieved when you’re back, the first day especially, she looks at the sunset like it’s the reason you’re back.” you said, smiling. 

“we’ve got two great kids in our hands,” he smiled, looking at both of your kids standing on the tallest step, the sunset behind them. the magic hour witnessing another family reunion.

“we do,” you nodded.

“dad, mom, you’re gonna miss it, hurry up!” diane demanded, skipping from one foot to the other.

“i love that we’ve taught our children to have faith in the magic of this world,” he kissed your cheek.

“that’s the only way to live. finding the beauty in the most simple things. luckily, with you by my side, that’s easy to do.”

[jasontoddsguns]

[purple-vixen]

This is why I use tumblr

[imsorryimlate]

[purple-vixen]

This but with every single person in the batfamily

[thenatsdorf]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[immaplatypus]

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

[official-mugi]

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

[just-things-i-enjoy]

Him face

[luccorvus]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

[catsbeaversandducks]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

[laurenthemself]

Reblog him face for good luck in 2022!

[shrewreadings]

Not fucking ignoring this, last 2 years have sucked. 🤬🤬

Goat burned, reblogging him face, so far not dead. Good luck!

[surroundedbybooks]

Reblogging him face whether it’s good luck or no, because him has a very cute face

[youngjusticeslut]

Young Justice Trend Day!

Hey all! As many of you know, Young Justice still hasn’t been picked up for a Season 5. WB and HBO Max are taking their sweet time in doing so– but here’s the problem: the longer they wait, the longer WE wait. Because of their six month delay, we had to wait almost 2.5 years for Phantoms, which only hurts the show. So many people don’t have the patience to wait that long and end up forgetting. 

If you’re sitting and thinking: “Well, what can I do about it?” then I’m glad you asked! On December 30th, at 12PM EST, 9AM PST, the day the mid-season finale airs, the YJ fandom is going to attempt a trend on Twitter using the hashtag: #RenewYoungJustice. The point here is to make our voices loud and heard by the powers of be so they see how much we want more seasons. 

You can find full details of the trend day here! If you have a Twitter, please signal boost the original post here! Spread the word, tell your friends, mark your calendars, and let’s stay whelmed. If you have any questions, my askbox is always open :)

[ragingbookdragon]

Jason and Bruce met before taking the tires.

It was the Christmas when Jason's mom died and little Jason was running around doing odd little jobs to scrape up enough money to buy his mom one last gift because he knew she wasn't going to make it much longer.

Little Jason, in a too big, rumpled sweater, ill-fitting over his small frame, a little dirty and a lot more tired as he squeezed through hoards of late Christmas Eve shoppers to find one gift that would make his mom smile.

A simple pair of flat, red shoes, like the ones Dorothy wore in The Wizard of Oz. The perfect size for his mom too. The only ones left in the store that would.

Little Jason, forcing himself not to break down in tears as he's told he doesn't have enough money, begging profusely with the cashier who's too tired to deal with a small child unaccompanied by a parent on Christmas Eve, tells him to scram.

And a warm hand rests on his shoulder and he looks up tearfully into the face of a man who seems awfully familiar but can't place it for some reason, watching with disbelief as he puts a fifty dollar bill down, hands Jason the shoes and his money back, and tells him to go home to his mother and give her the shoes.

Little Jason who hugs the man's waist, tear-stained face pressed into the awfully expensive, silk suit jacket and sobs "Thank you," over and over and over again until he can't form anything else. This man who bends down and wipes the tears from Jason's face and smiles, urging him to go home.

The same man who catches Jason by the scruff of his neck after getting ribbed by a tire-iron, seeing the same bright blue eyes and remembering the small and tired little boy, in the too-big sweater begging for a pair of Christmas shoes for his mom.

Jason doesn't remember it years on in the future, another memory lost by the tragedies of his life. He tells the story sometimes though. The man whose face he can never seem to remember perfectly, wiping away hot tears on his face and simply saying, "Go home to your mom, son."

He doesn't remember anything but the comfort of someone being kind to a street-child in an old, worn out, over-sized sweater.

But Bruce does.

[purple-vixen]

[purple-vixen]

John Constantine as a Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher - Headcanon

A/N: Fun fact: I had this idea after seeing a meme about John becoming a DADA teacher and asking his students for a cigarette. Sorry if it's not 100% accurate, this is mostly based on the Constantine from NBC TV series and the DCAMU one because I'm more familiar with those versions of him (but there might be a few references to the comics here and there) - Vix

Warning: Swear words

• The reason why Constantine ends up at Hogwarts is probably because he owed Dumbledore a favor after Albus saved John's ass or lent him money.

• Albus was having a hard time finding a new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher because every single one of the candidates would flip their shit and run to the exit after hearing about all the things that happened in the recent school-years *COUGH COUGH* Harry Potter *COUGH COUGH*.

• Dumbledore casually commented about the incidents and John's reaction was shrugging his shoulders and saying with indifference "I've been through worse."

• Dumbledore: There was that time an evil wizard latched his body onto a former DADA teacher.

• Constantine: I'm telling you, that's child's play compared to what happened in Bristol. Some goth punks got wasted on wine in a cemetery and set free an entire army of demons. Fucking amateurs, if you want to open a portal to hell, don't forget to close the bloody thing.

• On the first day of the DADA discipline, both Ron and Harry arrive late for class. The first thing Hermione does is scold them.

• In the middle of Hermione's speech on how Harry and Ron need to organize their schedule better because it might lead to being expelled, Constantine arrives even later than the students.

• Needless to say, he was hangover.

• Before anything, John stares at the students and ask "Do any of you kids have a cigarette? I forgot mine in the teachers' dorm."

• That one kid from Hufflepuff who walks around wearing a fanny pack opened the fanny pack and pulled out one single cigarette from it and handed to Constantine.

• "Five points to Hufflepuff!" John exclaims as he lights up the cigarette by conjuring fire from his hand.

• The students act like it's the most ordinary thing in the world because they stopped asking questions a long time ago after that time they've seen that Hufflepuff kid pull out an entire quidditch set from his fanny pack. He literally has everything in that fanny pack.

• Constantine introduces himself to class with that monologue from the TV series.

• "My name is John Constantine. I'm the one who steps from the shadows, all trenchcoat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bollocks and spit on them when they're down, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone. Because, let's be honest... who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?"

• As soon as John finishes his introduction, all the muggleborn kids in class, who are all familiar with the Justice League, start booing and complaining about how they would have preferred either Zatanna or Batman to teach them Defense Against the Dark Arts.

• Pure-blood (and also some half-bloods that were unaware of superheroes) are either thinking that this is an utter disrespect towards the teacher or are wondering if the muggleborns really wanted a vampire as their DADA teacher (or both).

• Fred and George secretly organized a sweepstake among the students for how many times John says a swear word during class and how many times he specifically says the word "bloody".

• When John found out about the sweepstake, instead of snitching the Weasley twins to Minerva, John agreed on taking 30% of their profits from the bets.

• As soon as Draco said his first "My father will hear about this." To John, he answered back:  "Since that wanker will hear about it, tell him to kiss my ass."

• Did I say that John hates Draco?

• Because he does.

• John has a special moment in his classes dedicated to roast Malfoy if he hears him talking shit during his lecture.

• Also if some student happens to roast Draco in front of John, be it in his class or not, he gives that person 5 points to their respective house.

• That one Ravenclaw girl got 25 points after pranking Malfoy's gang and making their hair and robes turn Joker green and Joker purple, respectively.

• Hermione secretly slips on John's desk pamphlets about the health risks of smoking.

• John probably scares off 1st year muggleborn students by telling them that Batman sends kids who cheat on exams to Arkham.

• Not that he actually cares if they're cheating on their exams or not, he was just bored and thought it would be fun to scare the first graders.

• Constantine probably had a fling with Madam Pomfrey.

• And also a fling with one of the ghosts.

• And Dumbledore.

• And maybe even a dementor or one of the paintings.

• C'mon, he had a fling with King Shark, the spirit of Los Angeles and Satan. There's enough Constantine for everyone, be it a human or a supernatural being from the wizarding world.

• If there were a Yule Ball in the year John is lecturing, at some moment he would climb the stage and drunkenly sing to the songs from his old band Mucous Membrane.

• Chas would often visit Hogwarts to catch up with John, ask for his help with some shit or help John with his shit.

• And every single time Chas went to Hogwarts, he managed to get killed.

• In the first few times, the students were all shocked but eventually they got used to it to the point if someone saw Chas dying they would just yell "God dammit, Chas!"

• Fun fact: That became a Hogwarts slang and every time someone screwed up they could just say "God dammit, Chas"

• The Weasley twins also organized a Chas Bingo among the students. The bingo card is sold for 5 sickles, everyone fills out each square with a cause of death, the first to bingo gets 14 galleons.

• This is heartbreaking but I bet John's boggart is Astra.

• John would totally be the type of teacher that starts the school-year hating all of his students but as time passed by he slowly started to genuinely care about them.

• And with caring I mean he would still be an arrogant fuck but he'd always find a way to help one of his students if they needed. But in a very chaotic way.

• Like, if some student wanted to go to Hogsmeade but their parents didn't sign the permission form, John would go there and fake their parent's signature.

• Quidditch team needs a new set of brooms? John would disappear for a while and come back with 7 brand new Firebolt Supremes stolen from the Diagonal Alley.

• John saw someone bullying one of his students? Ok, time to anonymously put on that someone a curse that every time they start acting like douchebags, that someone's head turns into a balloon

• Coincidentally, Malfoy always had that curse set on him at least once a month.

• He probably fucked up with the Dursleys by unleashing a demon that ate all of the leftovers in their fridge at the most ungodly hour and danced on their beds every night.

• And the WORST pranks the Weasley twins ever did on school grounds were all suggested by John Constantine.

• By the end of school-year, although growing fond of his students, John decided to quit teaching at Hogwarts because he thought he was better off alone.

[darkknightsrevenge]

A muggleborn in DADA class casting their first patronus and it’s a full size velociraptor. The Wizards in the class are like what the actual fuck is that and the other muggleborns cheering and singing the Jurassic Park theme.

[purple-vixen]

Imagine boggart-banning spell class in DADA. Some muggleborn kid's boggart turns into the THX intro or one of the monsters from Courage The Cowardly Dog. The wizards have no idea what kind of horrid creature is that thing wearing a pharaoh robe and moaning "return the slaaab" but they're just as terrified of it as the muggleborn kids are.

Would gen z and millenial purebloods be familiar with the concept of memes? I hope not. Just think of their reactions as a muggleborn casts riddikulus and their Super Mario 64 piano-shaped boggart turns into thicc Omni-Man.