I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:
—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.
—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.
—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money
—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them
—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa
—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them
—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in
Also drink water and eat a plant
This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:
keep on not working for startups
sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that’s okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don’t burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again
it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it’ll be
related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you … well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive
knees are bastards too
don’t even get me started on ankles
there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I’m sorry
one day you’re gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you
on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about
never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up
I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:
“loving yourself” is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on
this will happen incrementally - be patient
along those lines, if you haven’t started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it
no, shut up. do it. “but it’s haaaaard!” don’t care. do it.
whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup
stretch regularly - your future self will thank you
at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced
this will be infuriating and annoying
otoh, most other things just… will not matter to you as much
at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like “eh” and deciding to stay in. this is okay.
you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care
but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you’ll never be irrelevant
your company still doesn’t love you - don’t give them more than they pay you for
get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine
Some things I’ve learned thus far:
Regularly check your home for mould, especially after recent wet and humid weather.
Get a solid pair of rainboots.
When someone is talking, don’t just wait for your turn. If you’re itching to speak, you’re not listening.
If you have nothing to say, you don’t have to say anything. It’s OK to be silent. Silence is just silence. Learn to be comfortable with it.
Be interested in other people and remember details about them. For example, if a colleague or their kids have been unwell recently, check in. If they like taking photos of the moon, ask if they’ve taken any new ones.
See a therapist if you need to.
Learn to be better at validating. It can help you build and show empathy, and to connect with others. You can become better at conversations.
If you want to vent or disclose something, ask if it’s OK to share first. Sometimes the other person isn’t up for hearing a big rant or life story right now.
Sometimes it’s worth taking a pay cut for job security.
Apologise when you’ve done something wrong. Be sincere and work towards actual change.
If someone is tailgating you, let them pass where possible. Don’t speed up, don’t brake check. It’s not your job to teach them a lesson in slowing down. Your safety is at risk. Let them pass.
Avoid giving The Finger to drivers who make you angry. You don’t know how they’ll react. It’s not worth it.
Use sunscreen and regularly reapply. You can still get sunburn through a window and when it’s cloudy.
Wash your face before bed. Avoid hot water because that can dry your skin.
Do not steep green tea in boiling water. It will burn and become bitter. Use cooler water. Trust me. It will blow your mind how much better green tea tastes when you don’t boil the shit out of it.
