Let's get one thing straight. I'm not. @pusssyparade - Tumblr Blog

nerdishpursuits-deactivated2024

3x07 || 7x16

Jesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old man

Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, “Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?”

“Yes,” said the old man, “but he wasn’t my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens.”

“Very interesting,” said Jesus. “Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?”

“Oh, yes, many times,” answered the old man. “But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly afterwards.”

Jesus couldn’t believe it. Could this actually be His father?

“One last question,” He said. “Were you a carpenter?”

“Why yes,” replied the old man. “Yes I was.”

Jesus rubbed His eyes and said, “Dad?”

The old man rubbed his eyes and said, “Pinocchio?”

yayitsmee

Change your url Jeff

totallyfubar

The reason the work you’ve done on how you feel doesn’t seem like it’s working is because you need to do it until it works. It’s never been “this strategy will pull you up” it’s always been “here’s something you can do that will END with you getting out of that hole” the climbing still hurts and the being underground still hurts but that doesn’t mean it’s not working

totallyfubar

*doing laundry* “this doesn’t feel better

*cooking meals* this doesn’t feel better

*exercising* this doesn’t feel better

*making art* this doesn’t feel better

*cleaning the apartment* this doesn’t feel better

*somewhere months or years down the line*

holy shit

totallyfubar

tl;dr

awed-frog

Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.

Jacob Riis

femininenachos

Clexa crack magazine covers

(An occasional series - please don’t repost)

Previously: For my People | Gossip Grounder

Lexa ghostwrites an article about fragrant soaps for her Coalition propaganda magazine and passive-aggressively slips it under Clarke’s bedroom door after the third complaint from the other Ambassadors in as many weeks...

whitepeopletwitter

frownyalfred

I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!

He’s just an old man...he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!

Alfred: Oh my you’re right

There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well

(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING

welshronin

Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!

Alfred:

pointnclickadventuregame

has tumblr heard of the ‘salmon chaos’ happening in taiwan yet

pointnclickadventuregame

https://twitter.com/nick_kapur/status/1373281874013999111

‘Taiwan was engulfed in “salmon chaos” (鮭魚之亂) this week as more than 300 people legally changed their names to “salmon” (鮭魚) to take advantage of a promotion at a Taiwanese sushi chain.’

‘The Chinese word for salmon (鮭魚) is pronounced “gui yu.” People with a Chinese character in their name pronounced “gui” or “yu” got 10% off, people with two characters pronounced “gui” and “yu” got 50% off, and people with the exact same characters for salmon ate for free.’

‘Sushiro required a national ID card as evidence, but it turns out it’s extremely easy and cheap to legally change your name in Taiwan. It only costs ~$3 US ($80 NTD). This led dozens to rush out and change their names, like this person, who changed their name to “Salmon Liu.”

‘While many simply renamed themselves “Salmon,” others got more creative, such as “Whirlpool Naruto Salmon Xie” (謝渦鳴人鮭魚) and “Die (like salmon) Together Pan” (潘同鮭魚盡), punning on the Chinese idiom for “perish together” (同歸於盡). 5/’

‘One certain Mr. Chen decided to put a whole bunch of other food in his new name as well (in case of future promotions?), becoming the nearly untranslatable “陳愛台灣鮑鮪鮭魚松葉蟹海膽干貝龍蝦和牛肉美福華君品晶華希爾頓凱薩老爺.” ‘

‘Tragedy also struck for some Salmon Gang members, such as this medical student, who did not realize that Tawainese law only allows people to change their name three times ever. Out of name changes, he is stuck with his new name, “Salmon Dream Chang.” ‘