I started my bachelors degree a few months ago and I really believed that I would make friends. I always see people talk about making like life long friends once they started a grown up education or whatever.
I was so excited to meet new people and make new friends and finally have like an actual friend group and I thought for i had for bit. I was sooo happy that these girls seemed like they wanted me to be in their circle or whatever but then I realised that I was always the odd one out. If I’m not the last person to be asked to be in a group for like an assignment I’m the one person not in the group. And I noticed they invite each other to like on walk during breaks and stuff and I’m just tagging along. Today I found out they have a group chat without me.
Then there was another group of girls that actually did invite me into the group, but they’re always creating drama with each other, and a lot of their jokes are kinda racist…
I thought I probably still had a chance, we still have three years left, but everyone else seems to think it’s too late to make friends. People have already made groups and probably won’t stray from those…
I don’t know I thought this would be any different, I had the exact same expectation and hope for high school and was disappointed and lonely.
I feel like I’m missing out on life cause I spend every weekend at home doing nothing. The friends I do have rarely do stuff. I’ve been to such few parties compared to everyone else.
The worst part about being lonely is that you get used to it. I’ve never really had friends and most friendships I’ve had didn’t last. I was a lonely child, a lonely teenager and now I’m a lonely young adult. I’m terrified that this will never change, that I’ll always be lonely, I won’t ever get in a relationship and that if I do I’ll barely have any guests.
