sick sense of wonder

grumpy horror nerd, 35 • artist & gifmaker mostly dark ships and other problematic content low activity blog

[butterflypeaflowertea]

sometimes… it is healthier and more fun to enjoy media without immersing yourself in its fandom. like making judgments and analyzing + interpreting things without having your opinions be shaped by the general fandom consensus is so sexy, and being a fan of a character without ever posting about them and just silently enjoying them on your own can be so nice

[stream]

Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) dir. Josh Gordon & Will Speck

[the80s]

[marshemillow]

I fucking hate SO MUCH how we still have so many people in this stupid sphere of the internet who think that "proship" and "antiship" are two stupid sides of a pointless debate when in reality it is an intentional smear campaign created by people who want to bully other people with no moral repercussions or guilt; A group who created discourse out of thin air where it didn't need to exist just so it could harass and dogpile on some randos just trying to fucking exist.

I'm sorry people, but you cannot compare constant cyberstalking, death threats, suicide baits, false accusations, and constant bigotry with trying to defend yourself against said harassment.

We're angry because a bunch of snot nosed little brats who have an entitlement problem and recycled purity culture arguments are trying to place moral responsibility on writing fanfiction, and there are literally hundreds of examples of such dogpiling happening all over the fucking place. Just look at the "anti receipts" tag right here on tumblr, and you will be overwhelmed with examples.

I was able to figure this out in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES OF GOOGLING. There is no excuse. I hate this ridiculous false equivalence leveling bullshit being played by people who clearly have no idea what the actual stances of each side are, and god forbid you get upset that people are mass breaking the law just to tell you to kill yourself ten thousand fucking times in a row because then you're just as terminally online as the users dedicating all their time and energy to mass reporting people who did nothing wrong and falsely accusing them of heinous crimes they didn't commit!

I am just so sick and tired of this. I just want to ship and let ship. That's it. That's literally all I want. Just let me have this and we won't need this pointless "you're no better than them" game created by people who think step sibling porn will lead to mass inbreeding all over the world and the haye's code was a good idea.

I'm sure this is one reason why proshippers often feel so stuck and so victimized; Even people who don't like antis aren't on their side. How can you just not know about all the harassment? Or do you just not care? I don't know which is worse, to be honest.

I need some actual fucking sleep for once, goddammit. My head hurts.

[capybar00]

WARNING for House of Wax fans

a vincent x bo incest proshipper/sinclaircest artist is posting on tumblr. I previously saw him in twitter but he's posting sinclaircest twins in tumblr now (or maybe he has been posting them on here but I haven't seen his older stuff on here)

be aware is all i'm saying, you'll find them in the vincent sinclair and bo sinclair tags. block him if you feel like it, because personally I wouldn't want to see that in my page.

[pustoe-mesto]

It's ridiculous how some fandom ppl feel absolutely entitled to harass the others for their preferences. Gurl just block and move on, no need to be hateful over a harmless hobby. There's never enough content in this small fandom, so keep it safe for all inspired creators, not just the ones who share your personal tastes. Please and thank you.

[thosedizzystargazers]

Mmmmmm not to have like thoughts and things after that one scene in episode 2 of the last of us but like what if fungus is sapient? How would we, as humans, ever even be able to recognize, conceptualize, or understand a fungus' sapience that could be (or could not be) so different from our own without first becoming it? Would love to see some kind of story from that angle or perspective of integrating into the fungus y'know? cause i just think that would be so interesting and that there are so many possibilities to explore with that

[cordycepspog]

There’s something horrifyingly beautiful about Tess’s final moments. In the midst of the most dire chaos, as she waits for her death to come rushing past so she can blow it sky high and give cordyceps a big fuck you one last time, one of the infected stops. It looks at her, really looks. Her own mortality is personified in this infected. It’s death that’s looking at her, and it sees her. She looks her own death in the eye, and the suspense is so high as it approaches. But then, it doesn’t bite her throat out like we all expect it to.

It kisses her. What’s more, it kisses her gently. And I think it was a brilliant choice on the writers part, because it reminded me that the infected aren’t supposed to be evil. Sure, they’re scary as hell, but really, they’re just trying to survive. They’re connected to one another, they can feel each other from miles away. They seek out and want to be close to their own kind, just like the human survivors do. And when they do find each other, they kiss hello.

And after so long apart from a loved one, someone you know and trust with every instinct in your body, wouldn’t you want to kiss them too?

[pustoe-mesto]

Ya know, as a TLoU audience my heart's supposed to be with human survivalists but all I really care about is predatory beauty of Cordyceps fungus and it's life forms.

[kiiiiiim]

I love the way this show goes about explaining how the infected are all connected to each other, how the fungus can rally dozens of them at once and lead them to prey, how it's not just affecting the world above but also below - there's strands and threads that run for miles and... you just get this feeling that the Earth is being choked to death. And it makes for such tremendous and terrifying horror because how do you fight nature when it turns rotten and diseased? The scientists were right. The doctors were right - you can't.

[roadmotel]

Georges Bataille, Erotism: Death and Sensuality

[pustoe-mesto]

THE LAST OF US 1.02 “Infected”

[denvilleneuve]

The Three Daughters had turned their gaze westward, sweeping over the Stepstones with their combined armies and fleets under the command of the Myrish prince admiral, Craghas Drahar, who earned the sobriquet Craghas Crabfeeder when he staked out hundreds of captured pirates on the wet sands, to drown beneath the rising tide.

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON // FIRE & BLOOD

[pondslime]

WASN’T FOR ALL THE SMOKE FROM THE FIRE, WE WOULDN’T HAVE EVEN KNOWN;

Maverick Studios, Christopher Burk / Conjoined Twin Lambs, Jules Berdoulat / He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother, The Hollies / Plainwater: Essays and Poetry, Anne Carson / Down There, Mattias Härenstam / Cain and Abel, After Frederic, Lord Leighton / Pandemonium, Kim Jakobsson / Art from The New Yorker, Dadu Shin / The Dreams of Clytemnestra (from Only Prostitutes Marry in May: Four Plays), Dacia Maraini / Cain and Abel, Laszlo Mathe / Not to be Reproduced, Rene Magritte / Library 304, Michael Dumontier and Neil Farber / A Sad Child, Margaret Atwood / Love Love Love, The Mountain Goats

[unsubconscious]

DADA “Light My Fingers” candle by Claire Olshan

[its-monster-mash]

Sinclair Brothers Headcanons - Angst

I’m fresh off of a House of Wax rewatch and I come bearing headcanons

Bo

• Self-Appointed Eldest Brother

• Suffers migraines as a result of the separation surgery, but no one ever considered the side effects Bo may have faced since he wasn’t the twin who was left visibly scarred. This is why he had the meltdowns he did as a kid.

• Taught by his mother that the migraines are a punishment from God for being an awful child.

• Since he grew up being told how awful he was, he has a skewed moral compass because he feels like if he’s Bad no matter what he does he may as well do whatever he wants. In a strange way, he feels good when he does bad things because he feels like he’s doing what’s always been expected of him.

• Fights fights fights. His dad being a “Disgraced Doctor” and his mom going insane(and also having a strange job before that) kids made fun of his family a lot. This, of course, extended to Vincent.

• Beat other kids bloody for picking on Vincent—when he finally got caught, it was the first time he was ever treated like he did something GOOD by his parents; so he learned that being violent was A Good Thing™️ as long as it was to protect the family.

• Didn’t like Vincent going anywhere without him because how could he protect him if he wasn’t there?

• Especially after their parents died and the town started falling apart, Bo felt like it was HIS job to protect his brothers.

• Hurt that Lester doesn’t want to live with them full time; he feels like it’s something personal against him.

• He doesn’t mention Lester when he gives his speeches about ‘The Sinclair Family’ not because he’s got anything against him, but because deep down he knows that someday they’re going to get caught. He knows there’ll be no getting out of it for him and Vincent, but he hopes that the less he implicates Lester the more likely his baby brother is to be spared The Chair.

• Always used to feel like it would be any day that they’d get caught, and he used to want it. Years ago he used to feel like getting caught and having Ambrose make Headlines would be the culmination of their mother’s dream. Now, he’s just tired of it all—it’s a chore—it’s Vincent’s whole life’s work. Bo no longer wants to be caught, he just wants to hold on to what he’s got left.

• Bo is Autistic, but he’s had to do so much masking because nobody cared about his needs. He’s got a lot of rituals he does every day, involving counting all the Wax Sculptures in town, and making sure all the air conditioning is running several times a day for fear that the wax will melt. He thinks he doesn’t have a talent like Vincent does, but he’s actually an incredibly skilled mechanic who can fix just about anything with the barest of supplies. He just never got any praise for it, so it felt like it didn’t count.

• He attends his mother’s Funeral Service every Sunday.

• So much religious trauma. Fervently believes that God is real and he hates him personally for some crime of his birth. This man believes everything his mother ever said. Christian in the “I will fistfight God in the Parking Lot” sense, the “When I die I hope I get the chance to scream at God for being a shitty Father before he sends me to Hell” sense.

• “Why would you make me this way?” Religious Trauma.

Vincent

• “A Pleasure to Have in Class”

• He actually CAN talk, he just doesn’t prefer to because he’s self-conscious about the way he sounds due to his deformity, and also as a result of the childhood trauma of watching Bo be abused—it was safer to be the Quiet Son.

• He’s Autistic, but flew under the radar because most people assume he’s non-verbal due to his deformity. He’s EXTREMELY specific about the kind of material he puts on his body, and he actually prefers the way his clothes feel if they’ve got a film of wax on them.

• Wax is as much a special interest for him as it is a lifeline. His art made his mother “love” him, so he poured his all into it. She made him feel like that was all there was to life for him—now it’s just about all he knows.

• He’s EXTREMELY pretentious about his art and his process—it has to be absolutely PERFECT or he hates it. If he’s interrupted during a bought of creative mania he will sulk for a week. If he’s not good at a new skill IMMEDIATELY he hates it—which is why he cannot cook.

• Very much a “You Wouldn’t Understand” artist. “Nobody gets me.”

• The reason he doesn’t put as much care into HIS mask as he does his sculptures, is because his body heat coupled with the heat from his workshop makes the wax too malleable to hold the fine details well, so he’d just rather not bother. He made a detailed mask based on Bo’s face exactly ONCE, and it pissed him off so badly when he kept losing detail that he destroyed it himself just to have a little peace.

• The detailed mask actually hurt his feelings more than seeing his bare face, because when he first made it it looked “Like he should have”, but it was never perfect because of the way his body heat would soften it.

• Absolutely furious whenever anything happens to his art—doesn’t check as often as Bo does because he once saw a rat crawl out of a hole it chewed in the eye of one of the sculptures, and the resultant smell of the open rot made him vomit on the spot.

• Enjoys killing more than Bo does. He doesn’t really care about hurting people—that part isn’t a thrill for him, but he does prefer strangers to be dead. He’s so used to working with dead bodies that it’s much more peaceful for him if people who AREN’T family just die. Sculpting on a living body is a special Hell reserved for “tourists” who vandalize his art.

• He is well aware of how over-protective Bo is of him. Sometimes it annoys him, but he also knows it’s one of the few ways Bo knows how to show that he cares. Since Bo has always protected him, and survived everything their parents did to him, Vincent sort of sees Bo as indestructible, untouchable, so it’s alarming to see him injured.

• Vincent is genuinely afraid of what would happen if Bo weren’t around—he doesn’t know how to take care of any of the myriad of technical things Bo does, and Vincent knows that without the air conditioning, every creation he’s ever made will melt in the Louisiana heat.

• Vincent is an atheist. He tolerates Bo’s God Talk because he’s aware that God was a weapon used against Bo as a child for being the “Bad Son”. He knows Bo is trying to be comforting when he quotes their mother, so he doesn’t throw it in his face. Can’t believe in a God who would allow them to do the things they do to people. “The only God in Ambrose is Me”.

Lester

• The Forgotten Youngest Child.

• Being the brother who isn’t a twin—having no deformity and lacking Bo’s behavioral issues, Lester was forgotten and neglected a lot as a child—to the point where he’d just go wander off into the woods alone so at least he wouldn’t have to watch his parents ignore him. With the added benefit of not having to hear Bo’s outbursts.

• Really good at building traps, and ate a lot of squirrels when he was growing up, because Trudy and Vincent would sometimes forget to feed him. Really kind of raised himself.

• Came to terms with the abuse and neglect he and his brothers suffered much more fully after their parents passed—he never really felt very attached to his parents, so he didn’t feel the need to carry out Trudy’s dream.

• The most Aware™️ that the killing his family does is wrong, hence his speech about how easy it is to “Get Used To” all kinds of things. It’s just the life Trudy raised them into. He thinks it’s sad that his brothers are still perpetuating her goals, but what can ya do? They’re his brothers.

• He doesn’t spend a lot of time in the Sinclair home—preferring his little place in the woods—because there’s a lot of bad memories in that house and he doesn’t believe in letting himself fester in the past.

• Still visits every couple of weeks when he does his laundry—usually Bo gets takeout when he knows Lester’s coming up so they can have a family meal. Lester actually prefers his own hunted/foraged cooking, but he enjoys getting to actually have some family time with his brothers, so he chokes down what’s usually fast food, because he knows Bo’s trying.

• He doesn’t actually participate in the killings, but he is the one that rigged the animatronics in Ambrose—he’s actually a hell of an engineer, though he’s never been to school for it.

• The animatronic puppies are his favorite, and he modeled them after Jonesy.

• He’s actually pretty well adjusted, all things considered. He’s just happily living his life in the woods—he does wish things were different for his brothers, but he knows they’re in too deep now, so he just looks out for them as best he can.

• He guts the cellphones of his brothers’ victims both to disable any tracking functions and to use the parts for his animatronics.

[pustoe-mesto]

“The most important thing I’ve learned at least about romantic relationships is that they all need the three 'C’s. They are chemistry, compatibility and commitment. And you need all three, right? Because if you only have chemistry, you just have attraction. If you only have compatibility, you just have a friend. And if you only have commitment, you’ve got a stalker… Unless that's what you’re into.”

—  Leighann Lord, standup for Dry Bar Comedy

[geryone]

For Your Own Good, Leah Horlick