Sugar & Spite

Dorien/27/Texas Really brainweird, kind of desperate, and full of love for pretty much everything but myself. Into snacks, sleeping, and Satan. I've got punk politics, goth sensibilities, and metal everything else. xe/xem/xyr or he/him/his

[vamptits]

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

[vamptits]

I'm having my first 24/7 dom/sub relationship with the entirety of the fucking sun

[trans-sapphic-mess]

Do yall ever fantasize about having some sort of major illness/injury just so that for a time it's justified for you to be given attention and cared for so you don't feel guilty about it or are you just normal?

[lesbianshepard]

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

[thecringeandwincefactory-deacti]

Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase. 

Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.

[workfornow]

This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”

Plus it’s hilarious.

[cloudfreed]

I love ancient art history !!!!!

[clockshunddachshund]

@lowercasetrashwriter

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says “There’s a lot of private parts in here but we’re dedicated to displaying history so we won’t censor these. Enter at your own risk” or something. It’s prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.

[dovewithscales]

Fucking Puritanism.

Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.

[pmamtraveller]

By Jocelin Carmes

[artistic--ghost]

"Carmilla, standing near the foot of my bed, in her white nightdress, bathed, from her chin to her feet, in one great stain of blood."

[michaelmoonsbookshop]

An optical illusion - a picture of an open hand with elongated printed text IF I OFFER IT on the palm and at right angles WILL YOU ACCEPT the printed text appears much more clearly when viewed at an angle which appears to shorten the letters

19th century? the reverse is blank - measures 84mm x 54mm

[michaelmoonsbookshop]

[Sold]

[hope-for-the-planet]

New Solar Tech Makes Desalinating Seawater Cheaper Than Producing Bottled Water

Engineering teams around the world have been attempting to develop new methods of seawater desalination.

Scientists in China have developed a more efficient form of solar desalination that uses 47.4% less energy than alternatives. After the first year of testing, the scientists believe that at scale it would be able to desalinate water more cheaply than producing bottled water.

The goal is now to scale the technology for use in coastal areas and islands experiencing water insecurity.

[wizardshark]

For the last two decades we've been told constantly that fresh water use is THE next crisis. That water wars are going to be completely inevitable.

This is very, very important.

[spiderfuckersworld]

We will need to do something with the brine. It.should be given to me. I will drink it.

[frustratedasatruar]

I guess there probably is a reason why we shouldn't dump vast quantities of brine water into Death Valley, but it'd be nice if the problem was that easy.

[fairycosmos]

let it go my friend... i say this as a fat "ugly" dyke. your body is the vehicle w which you move in the world, give love, receive love, make things, SEE things, KNOW things. that's all that matters. beauty and ugliness are marketing scams esp for women. LIVE and FUCK THE WORLD it's not easy to get there but it's so sweet. ppl will love you fat and "ugly" i swear on god.

this is like a religious text to me and i'm not joking even a little

[creekfiend]

btw, if you base whether or not you have been Wronged in a situation on how bad you feel? that's bad. hurting other people feels REALLY BAD. FREQUENTLY. you feeling REALLY BAD does not = other people have mistreated you terribly.

experiencing consequences for legitimately bad behavior often feels absolutely terrible. even worse than being punished for something you didn't do, in my experience! if you allow your emotions to dictate whether you think you have been mistreated, you're going to treat the people YOU mistreat like they have harmed you unforgivably.

this is the logic that leads to DARVO. it is imperative to recognize the paths that lead to this behavior. your feelings are real and hard and they're also not telling the truth about every situation. they don't dictate reality.

[solarbiomechanist]

The AMOUNT of therapy I have been to that never had a satisfying explanation for the behavioral consistency of DARVO across multiple culturally distinct individuals-

it's an empathetic injury, that's why it's *so* fast, so severe, and the "reasoning" can change so much even when the same story is told again; it's not pre-planned, there's no mastermind string-pulling or whatever, it's "Ah fuck, why do I feel so bad, it can't be my fault, so I need to explain why it is your fault".

I wish I could tell past me this. It would have shattered a lot of the illusions of control built into my environment if I had been able to see how many of the lies were just made up on the literal spot and that the people telling them were not expecting their actions to have consequences.

Many thanks, I will be taking this information with me both in terms of "How to not hurt others like I was hurt" and in terms of continuing my knowledge project of "Everyone is a person with their own internal motivations and reasoning"

[creekfiend]

I really do think that the narrative about ppl who DARVO being intentionally evil mastermind manipulators has fucked with our ability to understand when we are hurting others. hurting people you care about feels bad. being TOLD you have hurt someone you care about feels bad, even if you intellectually knew it. people without skills to tolerate distress experience feeling bad as an Attack and an Emergency which triggers Defense Mode. people can be VERY manipulative and just be acting in blind panic -- they're unthinkingly doing what works! none of this makes it okay! at all! but it's a version of something that we all have an impulse towards, I think, just totally unexamined and Writ Large/taken to the furthest possible level. at its core abusive behavior is about not being able to tolerate or manage your own emotions and believing that people besides you are ultimately responsible for this, I think. it's emotional fragility and usually a lifetime of practicing a specific kind of lashing out in order to get some sort of relief from the Big Bad Feelings. like.

the biggest thing I've learned about people who get into abusive and manipulative behavior patterns is that something can be absolutely terrible and indefensible and also, at its core, DEEPLY pathetic.

we don't want to see people who do that kind of harm as pathetic because there's this feeling that that somehow excuses their behavior. it doesn't. a lot of the time its behavior that they saw Work for people with power over them when they were children, and now they think it's the only behavior that Works when interacting with people over whom they have power. because it connects back to early developmental learning re: interpersonal interactions, this also often explains why people approach these situations like they're the victim -- it's a child headspace, it's a path that was originally trodden during childhood, and childhood is a state defined by a lack of autonomy. which I think also acts as a way to insulate people from the need to consider other people's experiences and feelings -- when you're a kid it's absolutely vital to defensively hyperrocus on your own experience because nobody else will do that for you. no one does that for children, generally. and so, many people learn that prioritizing their feelings = dismissing other people's. anyway I'm rambling now and none of this is like. I don't have citations for it, lol, but this is the best way I have found to conceptualize these dynamics in Learning terms. because I truly do think that so many things in life are about Learning, and how we are initially taught that the world works.

I also think that in general we overestimate how much we understand our own motivations for our behavior; generally people act first, based on emotions, and then come up with intellectual explanations for their decisions after the fact. I think that's important to keep in mind and it's something that's helped me understand people a LOT better.

[screambirdscreaming]

"at its core abusive behavior is about not being able to tolerate or manage your own emotions and believing that people besides you are ultimately responsible for this" -> I think there is also a counterpart/corollary to this which is "not being able to tolerate or manage your own emotional responses to other people, and so trying to manage those people's actions and emotions into an arrangement that does not cause you distress" - rather than pushing responsibility onto others, it's denying them agency, because anything they try to do or say is subsumed into your meta-narrative of the situation.

Which is maybe distinction without difference, because it plays out the same, more or less. Just, rather than externalizing an emotional response that scolds people around you when they don't act the way you want, it's more... very nicely and kindly explaining to people what they actually think and feel, and why they acted in that way and what it means. Very heartfelt and earnest emotional processing conversations where what happened in what order and who felt what and why are rehashed into mush and reshaped.

In some cases, I think this can result from a failed attempt to mitigate the first type of response. Someone who is aware that they need to learn to analyze their own motivations and how their emotions shape their actions, and that they need to learn how to manage themself to avoid setting themself up to be hurt - but, whose sense-of-self boundary is bad enough that they also apply these tactics to everyone around them in a continuum with themself. Analyzing other people's actions as if your own emotional state was a universal baseline, a fundamental truth which they are at all times aware of. As if they were extensions of you. And trying to manage them into place in your emotional schema, like unruly twitchy limbs.

To have a usable model of someone else's emotional state, you MUST acknowledge that you could be wrong about it. If your model of them operates on the assumption that you know what they really feel, you're modeling them as an extension of you.

For me, one of the worst parts of untangling this was relearning that it IS normal for someone's understanding of a situation to change over time - as their emotional state changes, their intepretation of what happened will also shift. As long as someone is not expecting you to instantly and seamlessly comply with their reinterpretation, this is actually... fine. I had learned such a fear response to someone's interpretation shifting that I felt a need to create a stable understanding of What Actually Happened And Why, and to have that be untouchable. Unfortunately... that's exactly how this behavior propagates forward. My stable understanding wasn't actually intrinsically more stable than anyone else's, and now I was the one trying to force people to comply with the conceit that it was - that is, to edit their understanding seamlessly to match changes in mine that I was willfully unaware of.

To have an understanding of the world that feels steady and reliable, you have to be able to accommodate a bit of a shift back and forth, in your perspective and that of others. It's scary trying to build this when you're used to people completely upending the world on you. But it is possible to build trust that people will shift back and forth but maintain a steady enough overall position that you can work with it. And with an understanding like this, you're able to recognize when someone's perspective is swinging hard due to a strong emotion, and to integrate that with your existing understanding of them, rather than having it totally destroy what you think you know. And, you're able to shift your understanding of them if you find out it's wrong, without feeling like that destabilizes your entire relationship with them, because you didn't build the relationship on the hard assumption of them being exactly a specific type of way.

[rosieandthemoon]

[prettyskeletons]

Despair. Mosaic in the Cornaro Chapel, 17th century.

[neonshroudedgraves]

Discord planned to introduce age verification worldwide – and it's about to go live. | Tuta

Popular chat platform Discord plans to roll out age checks globally starting in or after June 2026, opting people into teens settings by def

[dragonmarquise]

Discord is supposedly saying this is going to affect "only 10% of users", but I really don't believe them at all. It's always going to be way worse and affect more people than what they claim.

So in case anyone needs it:

This browser-based tool can fool facial age checks using 3D avatars

After Discord announced plans to require age verification for all users, a free, HTML-based tool emerged that aims to bypass facial scans on

[aureliagaming]

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[ohholydyke]

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

[amorphousgenderlesscryptid]

I'm sure that's true, but something tells me googling "nun tied up by other nuns" "hot wax" "confessing sins" will likely get what you might call rather un-academic results

[voidcreations]

Look at my birthday cake...

[sokodraws]

judgement

[requiem-on-water]

“Black Cloud” for the exhibition “The Accursed Hour” by Carlos Amorales at Fondazione Adolfo Pini | Ph: (1&2) Andrea Rossetti (3) Alessandro Spadoni