eve only ate that apple because it was funny

i queue like 99% of my shit. 25

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[badkidsjokes]

Toothless

​what do you say to a toothless pig 

A: your useless pig

[evilvillain123456789]

got a common cellar spider addicted to facebook shorts

[homunculus-argument]

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

[miss-hexatrix]

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[senatortedcruz]

“Did the journal factory explode?” Yes because I bombed it. #PutYoBusinessOnTheInternet

[coern]

watching iron lung in actual good quality but it got too scary so we put up images of markiplier smiling and looking happy in the corner

[coern]

[screenshotsofalltime]

[labcorp]

if i had a husband id perform surgery on him

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

[meatdiaz]

i've ran out of which could mean nothings. i think this just might mean everything

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[yuridiot]

doctor just prescribed me music really loud

[sylferino]

every $30 purchase is like a razor sharp arrow stuck firmly in my muscular wearwolf back

[writhe]

was i normal / forgivable / worth saving at the party last night? be honest haha 😂 🙈

[raptorgirlfeathers]

creature fact: you have just been bited

[commander-snacks]

had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man