PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms
@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
oozey mess
Janaina Medeiros
No title available
AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom
PR's Tumblrdome
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Today's Document
Mike Driver
DEAR READER
Xuebing Du
dirt enthusiast
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
No title available
seen from Italy
seen from Canada
seen from Nepal
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@queenflippynips420
“how long have you been on tumblr”
there was once, like, a whole weekend where users on this website legitimately thought that you could defy the laws of equivalency and make infinite chocolate by cutting your chocolate bar a certain way.
CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING
EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY
CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST
NEED YOU BY MY SIDE
This is the closest gif that can really capture the utter chaotic energy that is released when people hear this song
astrology isnt real but every positive thing written about my sign is true
remember how malia obama never tweeted incriminating emails of herself colluding with foreign powers. i miss that.
No she just smoked weed while being guarded by federal agents. But please. Keep acting like either side has a right to the moral high ground.
You’re really fucking stupid if you think a teenager smoking weed is comparable to a grown adult colluding with foreign powers to shift the election.
i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it’s becoming a problem
I’m proud of him
He is just fucking great.
Fat pets who are obviously unhealthy: Bad
Wild animals who are fat because of humans: Bad
Wild animals who are supposed to be fat: Good
Wild animals who have gotten super fat because they’re just that good at survival: Very Good
WHO is still making total drama sadboy edits in 2019
Once you find it let me know I need to follow that bitch
gay_irl
fuck all romance except whatever those dudes from shameless got going on
Allow me to de-introduce myself
My name is [redacted]
crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten
John Mulaney Wins Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special for John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City
Their love suddenly makes so much sense
Henry Cavill reading thirst tweets.
BONUS
Do you get called “daddy” a lot?
when I become an eccentric billionaire I'm going to buy every house in 10 square blocks of unremarkable suburb. I will have them all furnished and decorated except for (and this is key) one house in the dead center. this house I will put up for sale at a ridiculously reasonable price for the area. once it sells, and the new owner/couple/family moves in, the plan will spring into action.
every single house besides the one in the center within my 10 square blocks will remain uninhabited. I will put all the lights inside on timers so that it appears that people are living in there, I will have lawns mowed when I'm sure everyone in my victim house is at work/school, I will have decorations put up during the holidays and cars moved there and parked in driveways when I'm sure that the owner/couple/family in the house at the center is not there to witness it happening. I will produce all the superficial trappings of life without a single person actually being there.
who knows how long it'll take them to realize that something is wrong? when their kids are playing in the yard, and they notice they've never seen another child around here even once, despite the four-bedroom family homes all down the street? after a few weeks, when they realize the lights in the house across the way click off at exactly 9:45, on the second, every single night? when they've been living there for a month and a half and they realize they've never seen a single car park in front of another house? when they want to greet their neighbors and not a single house in the whole neighborhood opens its door?
when they do realize that they're completely alone here, what would they do with that fact? what would you do if all at once, as you stood in a crowd, you realized that every single person around you was a mannequin? it's unnerving, sure, but enough to warrant a move? how long will they live in this idyllic ghost town before it gets to them? can a person survive in a dollhouse? Thank you. *I wave to the crowd as I walk offstage at my ted talk. one person gives a halfhearted round of applause from the back. a talk about sustainable ecosystem management was scheduled for right now and no one knows how I got up here.*
what ice-t could have meant by “TV is make believe” when told he ate a bagel on law & order:
-a stunt double of some kind ate the bagel
-the bagel wasn’t actually a bagel; was perhaps a donut
-the bagel was cgi
-he ate the bagel but considers it his character eating the bagel and not him
-he didn’t actually swallow the bagel
-he didn’t finish a majority of the bagel so he rounded down
-bagels in the law & order Universe are not bagels in real life
