The X-Philes

The blog of a glossophile (noun, greek: language lover) with various side obsessions. LANGUAGES: Fluent in: >English (native) >German (C2) Working on: >French (B1/2) >Arabic (Palestinian dialect, A2) >Romanian (A1/2) On hold: >Mandarin Chinese (A1) >Turkish (A1) Fond of large caffeinated beverages and singing in the shower. Travel addict, stage manager, tea-drinker, baseball fan, cat-lover, obsessed with outer space, ukulele player, novice trapeze flyer, ovarian egg donor. Up for an adventure.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[benzeneteen]

@strike-a-violent-pose​ @gabnapp​ look at this dude omfg

[dumbasscats]

A true captain goes down with his ship

Via Reddit

[mynamemeanscloud]

If this wasn’t so obviously in Canada I would think this was Lance in his previous home.

[floralls]

Autumn at Lijiang old town, China by Ngoc Hung

[bonjaminfranklin]

Anyways everyone should watch The Good Place

[christensen]

so, why do it then?

[dankmemeuniversity]

[silima]

she’s TIRED!!!

[jsheios]

an older twig and hilda because why not

[queenglossophile]

......Hello. Long time no see.

[mapsontheweb]

The Alcohol belts of Europe.

The alcohol belts of Europe are regions in Europe which are considered to be divided by association with either beer, wine or spirits. The alcohol belts refer to the traditional beverages of countries rather than what is most commonly drunk by the populace today, as in terms of drinking habits beer has become the most popular alcoholic drink in the whole world - including various parts of the wine and vodka belts.

Related: Alcohol consumption worldwide

[willkommen-in-germany]

We definitely are a beer AND wine country. :) The German beverages tag. And the Alcohol tag.

[vangoghs-other-ear]

Les Gros Mots

Swears in French

swear level 1: Mom uses these (shoot, darn ect.)

zut- Interjection

Zut ! J’ai oublie mes clés ! / Shoot! I forgot my keys!

sacré- adjective (literally means holy) (old fasioned, quaint)

Ce sacré moustique ! / This darn mosquito!

Sacrebleu- literally no one says this

Mon dieu-  used like ‘oh my god’ in English

Nom de dieu- used like ‘oh my god’ in English

mince- when used as an adjective it means thin, when used as an interjection in means something like ‘man’ or ‘geez’. 

Oh mince, il pleut. / Aw man, it’s raining.

La vache- lit. the cow, used as an interjection kinda like fudge in english

Swear level 2: Can be said in front of mom (damn, shit)

Merde: shit, can be a noun or an interjection

Con- stupid, asshole (can be a noun or an adjective)

Chier: to shit, a verb

Un merdier: a situation that is shit, a mess, a cluster fuck

l’élection de 2016 était un merdier / the 2016 election was a mess

Bon sang: lit. ‘Good blood’. used like holy shit.

Fumier- manure, used like jerk or dick

un fumier un jour, un fumier toujours. / Once a jerk, always a jerk.

Firme ta gueule/ta gueule- Shut up, lit. close your snout.

gueule- used kinda like ‘your ass’ in american english. literally it means mouth, but its usually used for animals so it becomes insulting when applied towards humans.

Je vais casser la gueule ! / I’m gonna kick your ass!

Dégueulasse/dégueu- the vulgar form of gross

j'en ai marre- i’m sick of/fed up with it

Swear level 3: Maybe if you have a cool mom (fuck, ass)

emerdeur/deuse- shit-stirrer 

baiser- used to mean to kiss, now means to fuck or to kiss depending on context

Merdasse- more vulgar form of shit

chiant(e)- so annoying lit. a thing that is shitty  

faire des conneries- to fuck up, to do stupid shit

Dégueulasse/dégueu- gross

Bordel- mess, lit. a brothel

Connard/connase- bastard, jerk, asshole

Cul-  ass (as in the body part)

ça me fait chier- This is boring me to death lit. this makes me shit myself

Abruti(e)- dumb ass

Salaud- (male) jack ass

Salope- dirty woman, whore

Saloper- verb meaning to screw someone over

Saloperie- fuckery, fucked up shit

Putain- Used as often and in about as many ways as we use fuck. Means whore in medieval french.

Putain ! Je me suis cogné le putain d’orteil ! / Fuck! I stubbed my fucking toe!

Pute- the ho’ to putain’s whore, still used like whore/ho

Fils d’un pute- Son of a whore (an insult)

Pétasse- slut

Chienne- bitch (like in english lit female dog)

Garce- bitch (reclaimed by gay guys)

Enfoiré(e)- dumbass lit. having to do with diarrhea

Enflure- douchebag, asshole. lit. swelling

Chatte- Pussy (the body part)

bite- dick (the body part)

Branler- to jerk off

Branleur- wanker

Se Casser- to go fuck off lit. to break yourself

Niquer- to fuck

Nique ta mère-  go fuck your mom 

Enculer-  to fuck up the ass

Combos

[Putain de] + [insult swear]

Putain de salope ! / fucking bitch!

Dégueulasse/dégueu- gross

[bordel de] + [anything you want]

assez avec ce bordel de merde / enough with this fucking shit

For more fun you can stack putain and bordel onto the same word

Putain/enculé(e) de ta race- means something like ‘ you are the worst representative of your type’ (apparently its not racist, but it makes me feel weird)

[salutcavaouiettoi]

When You’re Done With Something 🇫🇷

The dramatic “I’m done” at the end of a conversation for example cause we the French love the drama hehe

C’est bon = That’s it / I’m done

J’ai compris = I get it

Allez je me casse = Okay I’m out

J’me tire = I’m out

J’en ai assez là = I’ve had enough

C’est fini = It’s over

Allez ciao = Okay bye

J’en ai ma claque = I’ve had enough

J’en peux plus de cette merde = I can’t deal with this shit anymore

[adulthoodisokay]

“The Devil Went Down To Georgia” White Trash Washing Machine Cover

[americanninjax-deactivated20191]

That’s just. Amazing.

[mapelie]

AWESOMENESS

[fierceawakening]

this is awesome

[lizardtitties]

This is literally the futuristic version of washboard music. Is that not just fucking amazing? We had dudes playing washboards to accompany music since the early days of blues and zydeco and today we’re sitting here watching someone using a washing machine in the exact same way. Imagine being some old fella playing a washboard with thimbles in a little jug-and-tea-chest outfit back in the 20s, imagine if someone told you that in about 100 years time, some kid would be using a machine that will replace the washboard to serve the exact same purpose.

This shit is why I’m such a giant music nerd.

[scientia-rex]

washboard electronica

[arcadeigannon]

please take this compilation of this man’s tiktoks of his ferrets and ducks

[ithelpstodream]

[myrosecolouredgirl]

Si la migra aparecen en su puerta

no abras la puerta. Estate calmado. Usted tiene derechos.

Si piden entrar, pregunten si tienen una orden firmada por un juez.

Si dicen que lo tienen, piden verlo.

Una orden de administración de ICE (formulario 1-200, 1-205) no les permite entrar a su hogar sin su consentimiento.

Si no tienen una orden firmada por un juez, usted puede negarse a dejarlos entrar

Si se fuerzan, no resistan. Dile a todos en la residencia que permanezcan en silencio.

Si usted es arrestado, permanezca en silencio y no firme nada hasta que hable con un abogado.

[solarcat]

Yes, but as a note: You must DECLARE AFFIRMATIVELY that you are invoking your right to remain silent!! If you just stay silent, you haven’t actually invoked the right. It’s an annoying legal thing, but you have to speak in order to stay silent. All you have to do is say “I am exercising my right to remain silent” (and then DO remain silent after that!).

[fostertheory]

That last bit is due to a somewhat recent Supreme Court decision.

[livelyjay]

‼️‼️‼️‼️ as someone who lives in a sanctuary city i cannot stress enough how important it is to spread this around!

Recently families have been torn apart because of the current american government and its actions. and often times people don’t know that they have the RIGHT to remain silent. that they DONT need to allow anyone into their home WHO DOESNT HAVE A WARRANT.

so pleasee spread this to help families stay together or to help them make the decisions they are confronted with.

[fanonical]

neville, book one: um…maybe…don’t do a sneak out?

neville, book seven: i’ll kick your ass, i’ll kick my ass. i#ll kick your nan’s ass. i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick this snake’s ass.

[fernacular]

This is inaccurate, book one Neville was 100% ready to throw down with Harry Ron and Hermione to keep them from sneaking out. He’s always been prepared to kick ass.

[its-the-fluffy-lupin]

I made this and showed it to a friend. She said I should post it, so here we are.

[bipolarized]

This is it.

This is officially the best thing I’ve ever seen.