Queer Posting @queer-posting - Tumblr Blog

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itsbats

Happy Pride, ya’ll

oracleofthehoneycomb

somethingaboutvampires

Love how they keep picking up more flags

spaceboy-rix

Gay announcement: since Pride is cancelled due to the quarantine we’re going with Gluttony instead

tbch-deactivated20200107

b-rainrot

Right. I'm gonna go off in a moment. It's about the LGBTQ+ Community, Straight Allies, and Pride. I felt the need to do this after a recent interaction where I realised this wasn't obvious. You have been warned.

Feel free, in fact, PLEASE, repost this.

---

Cis/Het allies belong at Pride. It's a fact, deal with it. Every voice shouting for us is one more person determined to help. If you disagree with me go check our own history. Go watch the damn film 'Pride' where the community supported the welsh mining community and then a veritable battalion of welsh miners showed up for Pride in 1985. The miners went on to force a vote through with Labour Party to make them commit to supporting the rights of our Community. A world standing together and screaming for equal rights is always going to be more effective than one damn minority group no matter how difficult we make it to ignore us.

That being said if an ally joins us they need to understand something.

You are not an 'ally' to the LGBTQ+ community for just agreeing that we are in fact people. That's called being a decent human being. You are an ally if you stand with us in protest against not just the inequalities that still exist, but against the attacks upon us from outside forces.

If you treat Pride as a celebration of coming together, as a party after the battle? Then piss off. Pride isn't the after-party, it's a fight. It's people banding together to protest the crap going on, and let the closeted members of the community know that we are HERE for them.

Pride isn't for our nice sides. Pride is a damn battleground fought with placards and angry voices. You want to expand your horizons, increase your horizons, educate yourself? Then join a few Facebook groups, go talk to an LGBTQ+ society at a university, show up to events to raise awareness. Our community will always make time to talk to you and point you in the direction of petitions you could sign or good reading material.

But Pride isn't for that. Pride is for demanding attention. For forcing people to shine a damn light on things going wrong. On another day you might find 'George: a pleasant bisexual who will explain whatever he can if you ask', at Pride you'll find 'George: A furious 6'4" bastard who is pissed equality isn't a damn fact of life already'. Pride is for people who have seen injustice in our so called 'modern' world and are pissed about it.

If you go to Pride to celebrate, as well intentioned that may be, you detract from the struggle. You are joining in the smokescreen masking what it is really about. The original Pride was a riot, and maybe people don't always throw petrol bombs and fireworks at us still - though in some places they do - but it is still a fight. A protest.

If you're one of the people who don't realise there are still battles to be fought, well. I may be glad that there are people whose lives aren't torn apart via attacks on the LGBTQ+ community, but right now, let me educate you a little.

---

Gay conversion therapy still isn't illegal in the UK. Now, in case you are not familiar with standard gay conversion techniques, they use a shit tonne of negative reinforcement. Typically using electrodes. This type of treatment is based on the idea that being gay, or any other LGBTQ+ denomination is fundamentally wrong. That it is a mental illness. This is still legal. It is still something that actually happens.

I signed a petition about getting gay conversion therapy made illegal recently. The government sent back an email about how they need time to consider the implications of what would happen if they shut these businesses down. They were talking about job security for people who make a living off of torturing people until they were 'straightened out'. There are people out there that hate us for living. That would kill us simply for who we are. Then there are those that seek to correct us. Like we're some sort of disease riddling the human race.

Alan Turing, the man behind the cracking of the Enigma Code during world war two, an achievement that shortened the life span of the war considerably. His efforts likely saved millions of lives. That being said, when he confessed to being gay and having a boyfriend, he was prosecuted for being a homosexual on the charge of indecency. Because obviously being gay is something to be ashamed of right?

They put him on a regime of body chemistry altering drugs to try and 'fix' him. Only for it to send him spiralling into a depression that resulted in him killing himself. It took over fifty years for a formal apology to be made on behalf of the government for how they treated a legitimate hero. This was an injudtice that was only corrected because of how high profile Aln Turing was. There are countless others who will never 'earn' their apology.

However, did you know that when a film was made about him, instead of having it portray him being in a loving relationship that got exposed, he was just caught with a male prostitute. Because clearly even in a film meant to give him the glory he deserved they can't show a positive homosexual relationship. This is yet another demonstration of dehumanising members of the LGBTQ+ community, making us into something to be ashamed of. Something dirty to be hidden away.

---

These examples of conversion therapy, and of Alan Turing, are just two of examples among many. If you want to be a true ally to the community. Then do some research, pick your issue, get your rainbow warpaint on and start shouting the damn battlecry. Or alternatively just get online and start signing petitions because every damn signature counts. I couldn't sit here and talk you through all the issues going on if I dedicated all my damn time to it.

So let me restate: Allies are welcome at Pride. One more pissed off voice is damn important. That being said, if you're not there to protest and draw attention to an issue of equality, you are not an ally. You are a distraction. You are welcome to join us in screaming and shouting for equality, I fact I beg you to do so. However don't come to a protest expecting us to behave like it's a damn party.

ab-cedario

ah yes, the only two people that deserve rights

whitepeopletwitter

t3sticles

Actually I think they’ll be ok 🙃

doctorzorders

Not everywhere is handling this as shittily as the US, ya dingus

xanthera

#this is important because we have to remember #we have to remember it *did not have to be as bad as it was*

sarahseeandersen

lostsometime

i had a very illuminating conversation with a guy about 10 years younger than me that really put this change into perspective, which is this:

i have a very distinct memory, in my childhood, of the moment of my disillusionment. i believed that grown-ups knew what they were doing, and that the things that seemed so obvious to me had to be obvious to them, too (things like DON’T GO TO WAR IN IRAQ, for example). i believed that, and had that belief pulled out from under me, so my disillusionment comes with a sense of betrayal.

a mere 10 years younger than me, this guy has no such moment or memory. he never believed grown-ups were fundamentally competent, or good, or reasonable. he never lived in a world where things didn’t feel constantly careening wildly out of control. there’s no betrayal in his sense that the government has failed him - of course it has, it was always going to. he doesn’t remember a time pre-bush, or pre-9/11, or pre-iraq war. this is just what the world has always looked like for him. so it’s not really a sense of “disillusionment,” actually - his generation never had any illusions to lose. they’ve just been in this world so long it’s all they’ve ever known.

harimenui-forever

Born around the year 2000 gang

mizgnomer

The Ancient Rome scene from Episode 3 of Good Omens - including cut bits that didn’t make it into the final scene - from the Good Omens Script Book (a book I highly recommend)

Bonus Crowley, because look at him:

queerlove

me: *catches myself being judgmental* me to me: i did not raise u this way

yellowxperil-deactivated2026012

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time

like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him

if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.

she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact

it’s a f***ing trap

bombchelle

F***ing hate dudes forreal.

poltxsexkitten

too many f***ing times ugh

potamideriver

Story time. One day I was on the MAX (basically a giant street car that goes all over the metro area) on my way to meet up with a few friends. I didn’t look at anyone, I didn’t speak to anyone, I just stood to the side on my phone making sure I wasn’t going to be late to my meeting. Out of no where, this guy comes up to me and starts to chat me up. Me, being who I am, am absolutely terrified to tell this guy to f*** off. He was at least half a foot taller than me, and was way too bulky for me to fight back. So I suck it up at humor him, say hello. Before introducing himself or asking me for my name, he asks me out on a date. Not wanting to piss him off I try to make light of the situation and I laugh, telling him that my boyfriend wouldn’t like the idea, but thank you for the offer. He just shrugs and says, “He doesn’t need to know.” At this point I’m scared out of my mind. There’s this guy who, after seeing me run two blocks to catch the train, comes up to me and has made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to leave without getting something out of me. I deny him a second time, saying, “I don’t even know you’re name. We’re strangers, I don’t know you.” He finally introduces himself and asks me for my phone number. I tell him I don’t give my number out to people I’ve just met and he says, “Fine, but at least take mine so we can meet up later.” So he watches me plug his number into my phone (which I deleted as soon as I knew I was safe and away from him) as we’re pulling up to my stop. I tell him I need to leave and switch trains and he tells me, “Oh, I’ll wait with you. I don’t have any plans, so I’m in no rush.” It’s important to note what at this point he had previously told me that he was late to a job interview, but he has all the time in the world because he still hasn’t gotten what he wanted from me; a yes. I get off of the train and he follows me, and waits at the platform with me for over ten minutes until my train arrives, asking me all sorts of personal questions about where I live and where I was going that day. As soon as the train pulls up he grabs for me and says, “Do I at least get a hug before you go?” I was terrified. I was embarrassed. This dude, who before even asking me for my name asks me out on a date and then continues to harass me after I tell him I have a boyfriend, asks me for a hug only fifteen minutes after meeting. People around us were staring at me, as if I was being rude for denying him, and every inch of me was mortified. I wanted to run, but I felt like if I had done that he would have chased after me and things would have gotten worse. So I did, and he squeezed me so tight I felt like I was going to burst. It took me a good ten seconds to get him to let go and I ran to the train car just as the doors were closing. He was trying to get me to miss my train so I would have to wait with him even longer. I would have been stuck there for over a half an hour until the next train came by, and the platform (aside from the few buses coming by) was now COMPLETELY EMPTY. He knew EXACTLY what he was doing and he knew EXACTLY how to get me alone with him. People, if you are in a situation like this do not feel obligated to give in. If someone is making you uncomfortable and asks to touch you in any way, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY YES. Make excuses, be blunt, just straight up say ‘no’. If possible, go to someone else near by who you think can help you and ask them to help you. It’s important for guys to learn that they can’t get what they want just by asking over and over again. I got lucky. But not everyone does. Please, everyone, Be Safe.

d-o-llf-a-ce

SECOND STORY TIME

So I was on the transit bus alone one time. This was my first time riding, and so already I was PETRIFIED. I sit down, pull out my ipod, and begin to play some games. This guy sits down next to me, and begins trying to have a conversation. I don’t really respond, I don’t even look at him, just give half-hearted “mhm”s and “oh”s, as I don’t want to be rude if he was just striking up a friendly conversation. He then asks me on a date.

Now, as I stated before, I already was absolutely petrified. My heart stopped and I didn’t know how to answer. So I just didn’t. He didn’t let up and I could feel his eyes on me. I quietly stammer out a “no thanks” and my stop HAPPENS to be coming up, so I pull the string thing to let the driver know I want to stop there, and once we stop and the doors open I get up and he asks me, “Well, can I at least have a hug before you go if you won’t go on a date with me?”

This makes me break. There are now people staring, as we are the only people standing up and not getting off… So I just start crying. Hell, I am bawling almost instantly. He looks so fucking freaked out and people are now getting up to come over and comfort me/question him. I don’t stop crying, and he keeps trying to comfort me by touching me, and people are yelling at him for that.

AND THEN. AND. FUCKING. THEN. THE GOD DAMN BUS DRIVER. A VERY EASILY 6 FOOT BURLY MAN. COMES OVER TO US. PULLS THE GUY AWAY. AND KNEELS DOWN. HE THEN ASKS, IN THE MOST CALM VOICE, “Did you request the stop?” I very slowly and shakily nod, as I am still crying my eyes out. He then asks, “Do you want to get off?” I give a quiet “mhm” and nod once again, and he offers me his hand. I take it, he stands up, and he escorts me off the bus. He asks me questions such as where I was going next, if I was going to meet someone shortly, if I was going to transfer buses from there. He was very polite and waited for me to answer the entire time, and my friend (who I was going to be meeting there) showed up. He asked me if this was someone I knew, I said yes, and he said alright, have a good day. He then told me- and this is something stuck in my mind forever, so it is word for word-

“If some guy EVER starts harassing you like that again, do exactly what you did there. Cry. Cry and scream and have a temper tantrum. Not only will it throw him off, but it will get others to notice. They might not interfere, they might, but you will have gotten their attention and if you happen to go missing the next day the search for you will be a hell of a lot easier because everyone in that location will have seen you screaming and crying with a guy now very awkward with his actions. They will know. That is what my daughter did, and three days after she went missing she was back in my arms. I pray for you and every other person like you who has this done. You stay safe now, okay?” And after I began blubbering again, I nodded and he left.

So this is the second lesson for yall. If you can not have the courage to say no or make an excuse, cry. Let out those sobs and tears and cry your heart out. Because it is going to make people notice and make people aware.

cosmic-noir

Reblogging for that second story. This might save a life.

grumpybeardruid-archive-deactiv

I just wanna note that bus drivers can be really amazing and good ones do look out for their riders.

han-syolo-shot-first

Also, as an additional tip (in case you cannot cry on command or such), you can say, “No, because you’re creepy/creeping me out” and if he persists or tries to laugh it off, say “I do not want to be touched” and look at one of the strangers/persons that is watching.

It: 1. Gives them a sense of urgency in the situation, as the eye contact is a way to make them feel as though you are personally asking for their help and it is now their obligation to help. 2. Contains words so that if you’re in a public place but people aren’t necessarily watching, then they (as natural evesdroppers) can overhear the attention-grabbing words and then notice the situation. Note, this does NOT mean that they will come for help, but you might be able to look someone in the eye (as previously mentioned) or just get some people’s attention. 3. It shows that you have fight in you. As with rapists, those who are physically aggressive (ie. these huggers) choose women they see as an easy target. The moment you show them you are going/willing to fight them, they are less likely to continue. Sadly, this is not always the case, but every little bit helps.

Hopes this also helps, guys, and I’m so sad that this has to even be a post we need.

oxfordcommaforever

Dudes who follow me: 1) reblog this 2) don’t be the creepy guy who asks random women for hugs 3) be aware of your friends or random creepy dudes and call them out if they act gross towards girls/womem

midoriko-sama

Ok, I wasn’t going to comment about this, because there was no way of doing it without talking about a part of my life I really didn’t want to. But fuck that, there be young girls out there who need a hand.

So I used to be hot when I was young. I mean, model hot, because I actually used to model. Even now, I’ve let myself go on purpose because I was tired of the harassment. But I fit a UK size 6 with a pert ass from volleyball and a cup c breast. As you can imagine, I couldn’t wear anything or go ANYWHERE without being harassed. I sometimes even happened in church.

Anyway, I’m not a shrinking lily, and when I get angry enough I can do some crazy shit. So here are some of my coping mechanisms:

1) find a matronly looking lady, run up to her with ‘aunt may! I haven’t seen you in ages! ’ then whisper ‘please help he’s harassing me!’. 99.9 times out of 100, she will be scandalised and help you anyway even if she’s annoyed or in a hurry. If no older lady is available, find a younger one, or a nun, or a trans lady. We of the sisterhood know what it is to be harnessed, and I guarantee if you look frightened enough, they will help.

2) If you are out alone at night, and someone is following you, spot a house or apartment where the lights are on and knock, asking ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ or ‘john’ to let you in. Even if the people inside are annoyed, odds are they won’t turn you away, and you can phone someone to pick you up, or phone the police from a safe space

3) Make noise. Cry and scream loudly, call them out ‘i don’t know you and you are terrifying me! Please get away from me!’ if there are people around. Even if they don’t help directly for fear of their own safety, someone around you is calling security or 911.

4) speak a foreign language. If you know it, speak the language to them fast and incessantly, like you have just met someone you knew and you’re just giving the best performance rant of why your OTP is the best OTP. Make yourself ANNOYING. Think about what would be awkward and annoying to you and make it what you do to them. If you make them think YOU are something to get away from they will leave you in peace.

Now beware, the following ones are the CRAZY ones and may not always work. But they are a valid last resort:

5) stare at them. Stare at them like you’re hungry and they are a hapless deer you’re going to tear to pieces. Like yours the girl from the ring emerging from the TV to kill them. Don’t smile, don’t change your expression. DON’T BLINK. Hold their state like you’re Wednesday Adams about to do unspeakable things to a spider, and they are the spider. Even the most courageous of stalkers balk at this, but if they don’t…

6) Use the Hannibal Lector. After staring at them for and extended period of time (imagine all the things that have made you scared, imagine you could get revenge on them for putting you here, that’s the thought you need to have), if they are getting closer to you, whisper something like ‘i would fry your liver in garlic’. Even the hardiest ones will be taken aback, but keep it up while making sure you don’t let the others hear you. Things like, occult star readings requiring blood, wondering whether he is the offering the spirits sent. If you’re on this site you’ve read some weird shit at least once. Tell him that. Tell him you would like him to meet your lord, Vlad the Impaler, who requires much blood to be appeased. Be a stereotypical ‘crazy bitch’ like they see in the movies. Believe it or not, this has worked for me twice.

Above all, banish the notion that you have to be polite.

They were impolite by approaching you. If you can, ignore them. If you are not alone, pointedly put headphones in your ear, and don’t make eye contact, wait for them to realise that ‘youre a bitch anyway’ and move away. If you are alone, evade and find places and ways to fix that as soon as POSSIBLE.

And if all else fails, summon Satan.

prismatic-bell

Something I have learned at work:

Never underestimate the power of a good “EXCUSE me????”

Legit. It makes people STOP IN THEIR TRACKS. This is the one I whip out when people start swearing at me over the headset and always, without fail, they stop what they’re saying, shocked.

Go for offended, and go for loud. Not yelling loud, but giving-your-best-presentation loud. “EXCUSE me??? You approached me two minutes ago, I don’t even know your name, and you want WHAT? Creep.”

For one, the presentation will shock them. For another, that indignant tone? EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GOING TO WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS JUICY SHIT.

Now the second key here is, DON’T LET HIM JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). He smiles and goes “I just wanted–” FUCKING INTERRUPT HIM. Firmly. Irritably. “I heard what you wanted, and I’ve already declined once. Maybe you should go back to kindergarten where they teach you no means no.” Run right over the fucker. He’s not respecting your words, you don’t need to respect his.

A further note: if you’re an iPhone user, you can use Siri to call 911. (I know Android has a similar function, but I don’t know what it is–play with your AI and find out.) If you’re in a secluded area, this works well; I used to walk home from work at 2am and had to do it twice. Make eye contact with your harasser, activate Siri, and loudly, firmly say “Siri, call 911.” Siri will immediately reply “calling emergency services.” (It actually takes five seconds to activate, but there’s a Call Now button if you need it.) Almost ALWAYS the person harassing you would rather take off than wait for you to get a dispatcher on the line.

alleiradayne

As they say on the podcast, My Favorite Murder:

Fuck Politeness.

smudging-sage

This is NOT the kind of thing I usually post on here, but this is something that every female [or, every person honestly, harrassment isnt a one way street]needs to see. This is a fairly active blog, so I hope to see numerous reblogs.

hogwartsian-quotes

Who cares that this isn’t Harry Potter it’s important

f-aggotry

So I’m pretty young and short, so everyone expects me to be afraid to hurt you if you freak me out, or thinks I’m too “weak” but let me tell you, I’ve had 19 toxic friends/ bullies in the last six years, and the anger that comes out of me when I think about the fuckers who ruined my childhood is red-hot. My best friend and I beat each other up on a regular basis so I know where to hit.

If someone approaches you, and they are advancing and trying to touch you, catch their arm. Give them an Indian burn, bend it the wrong way, pull it closer so you can grab his shoulders and knee his dick. Any pent up anger you have? Let it grow till your teeth are so clenched you’ll push them into your gums. Scream. Cry. Fight. I’m part Norwegian, and anyone who tries to hurt me is about to have at least 7 major injuries.

There is no being polite. Fuck shit up.

quackityscasino

This honestly goes to everyone, no matter the gender

amsterdam-parker-deactivated202

this scares me to no end but makes me grateful to know the Sisterhood. men, don’t be arseholes/prey on “vulnerable” people/if you face this, follow the same rules.

for everyone reading, don’t look away, don’t ignore it. if you see shit like this irl, flag it and do it fast. you could be staring at a potential “missing person”.

lilbabypansexual-deactivated202

Ok I wasn’t going to reblog this but I also have a story. Not quite a “can I have a hug” but much, much worse So I am not going to lie. I wear a size D cup, have a defined hourglass waistline, and my thighs and ass are very much the kind of thing you’d find in a thicc girl appreciation post. Besides this, I also dress the way I want to, which is sometimes revealing and sometimes not. Besides that, my social anxiety is crippling, and makes acting crazy a LAST resort. I was on my way to see a show in the city. And while I was walking down the sidewalk, I saw a car across the street, and the man inside was staring at me. After the show I was walking back to the parking garage when that same car pulled past me a bit and stopped. I knew what was going on then, so I immediately looked around for someone to go to, but the man in the car came up to me first. He immediately started looking me up and down, and said, “So I saw you a little while ago, and I thought you were really cute.” He proceeded to use a few really bad and creepy pick up lines. I tried to laugh politely and walk away, but each time he stepped in front of me. I was scared out of my mind. He then asked me, “so, wanna come back to my place?” I shook my head no, said I was meeting my sister at a restaurant- (a lie.) He said, “honey, I followed you from the parking garage. I know where your car is, and I know you’re alone.” I tried to walk away at this point, telling him I wasn’t interested, and called out to a person on the sidewalk, saying I needed help. But then this man did something very very scary. He smiled at the person and said, “ma’am, my sister is drunk and won’t get in the car with me to go home. Can you help me get her in the car?” I think the lady knew what was going on, and she came up to me to ask how many drinks I’d had. I said, “none, ma’am, I don’t know this man.” He said, “we were just at the bar and she stormed out, and I’ve been trying to get her to go home, but she keeps insisting she doesn’t know me. She gets a little loopy when she’s drunk.” The lady, who ended up walking me to the parking garage, said “ok, sweetie, your brother wants to take you home. Let’s get in the car, er…I don’t know her name. What’s her name?” (Smart move on the lady’s part. I have a lot to thank her for.) The guy balks at this; he obviously doesn’t know my name. So he says, “Jessica.” I pull out my phone and show the lady my contact card, proving that my name is not, in fact, Jessica. She asked the man whether or not he was really my brother, and he rushes to get in his car without answering. Thank god for that lady, because without her I’d be missing by now. I don’t have any tips to share, but if I had screamed, or yelled, or something, I probably would have gotten rid of him faster. So even if you think it’s weird, or you’re shy, do it. Do it because it might be the only chance you have. If it had been anyone else he’d asked, I would have been gone.

immortalcheesewedge

This is something really scary to think about but it needs to be talked about and spread, as stated before; Fuck politeness when it comes to your safety.

blake-belladonna-defence-force

If anyone thinks “it’s just a hug,” please know that when I was 17, a group of boys in my year purposely went out of their way to give me a hug every time they saw me. Without my consent.

Every. Time.

I felt unsafe in my own school. My personal space was being invaded on a daily basis but I didn’t want to be rude. I wanted to be polite.

This went on for 2 and a half semisters of school. It was the cause of my first panic attack and that panic attack lasted for 3 fucking days.

I took the remainder of third term off and my family reported these assholes to the school after I broke down to my mum. Want to know what happened?

They didn’t even get detention. The councillor didn’t even give them a slap in the wrist. I got told off and scolded for not getting help sooner.

And it pisses me off. It makes me so angry to know that these boys harassed me for months and they didn’t even get a slap on the goddamn fucking wrist while I got scolded for being too scared to ask for help.

Fuck being polite.

If I could, I’d tell little Defence to knee them in the fucking balls. I’d tell her to cry and scream and get help. I’d tell her to look that councillor in the goddamn eye and say “How fucking dare you blame me. How dare you suggest that it went on for this long because I let it. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING SCARED! They harassed me for months. I want you to do more. I demand that you do more.”

I’m angry. I’m furious. I’m done.

Fuck being polite.

bloodraven55

A guy I knew at university who I unfortunately didn’t manage to shake for a while because he was so persistent in trying to be my “friend” used to hit on my housemate (even though she had a boyfriend and he knew this) repeatedly and act super gross with me too, even going as far as bragging about his dick size in front of her and at one point offering to send me lesbian porn as soon as he found out I was gay.

One time he went to pat my housemate on the head (we were all in the kitchen of my accommodation at the time) when she was cutting some vegetables for her dinner, and she flat out just turned round—still holding the knife—and said “Don’t touch me!” in the most terrifying voice I have ever heard from her. He couldn’t back away fast enough and he never went within ten feet of her again. (I also managed to finally cut ties with him completely soon after that, thank fuck.)

So, in conclusion…

Fuck being polite.

holleratyourbouyancy

Janus Sanders reblog if you agree

de-vile

pettycentral

smatter-deactivated20220909

This might be my favorite post hahaha

pdothamman-deactivated20170513

I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD YO BECAUSE DON’T THEY KNOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE???

sadboyayeron

the whole time i was scrolling through this my thought process, “isn’t that a….bay leaf”

winnie-the-patton

I think this might be my favorite Tik Tok I’ve ever made.

randomslasher

This is amazing, omg

sympathetic-deception

* Remus walks in on Virgil laying on the bed doing nothing*

Remus: What are you doing?

Virgil: I don't know. What are you doing?

Remus: I don't know.

*A few minutes later Logan walks in and sees Virgil and Remus laying on the bed doing nothing*

Logan: What are you guys doing?

Virgil and Remus: We don't know.

underdog-arts-deactivated202401

I just really want Logan to react to Janus’s name like

“Oh that’s very clever, like the Greek god, Janus.”

Roman, Patton, and Thomas, who thought it was “Janice”:

spooky-scary-virgil

omg yes

moved-to-averinthine-deactivate

life advice:

never say anything to a penguin that the penguin has not already said to you

moved-to-averinthine-deactivate

this reads like a shitpost but i’m actually 100% serious. i was walking along the side of the harbour this evening, just after all the penguins had come in from the ocean to nest. there was one penguin right by the footpath, and when it saw me it kept saying ‘höö’. so i said ‘höö’ right back. it seemed to like that, and we had a lovely conversation where we just kept saying ‘höö’ to each other. i crouched down about two metres away from it, and we kept talking, and it actually moved towards me a little bit, seeming to prefer my company to the heartless embrace of the sea. but then i made the mistake of trying to change things up. i said ‘hweh’, which was something that a previous penguin said to me, and this penguin hated it, and fucked right off. never said another word to me. i felt so rude.

drewdrawsstuff

I keep imagining this from the penguin’s point of view:

“Gustav, my friend, why so glum?”

The penguin in question looked up from his half-eaten sprat, shaking his head in disgust.

“Not glum, Sebastian. Affronted, outraged - I had the most perturbing encounter with one of the Beakless Ones.”

Sebastian nodded solemnly. “Yes, they are often perturbing. What happened, my friend?”

Gustav sighed heavily, looking up to the sky and holding his flippers wide, as if to ask the gods “why?”, before mournfully retelling his experience, “I was on the beach where the Beakless sometimes wander, contemplating names for this year’s chicks, when one of them approached. It seemed harmless enough to greet - they’re cute, in a strange, bald and flat-faced way, are they not?”

“Oh Gustav, you kind-hearted fool.”

“Such a fool, I am!” Gustav’s moans had gathered a small crowd already - the only thing penguins love more than a bellyful of fish, is a story. A good storyteller was always guaranteed a warm spot to huddle in the winter, surrounded by bored friends longing for entertainment.

“What did it do, Gustav? Did it kick you?”

“No! When it got close, I called out to it, ‘hello, friend!’. It stopped and returned the greeting - awkwardly, but it was rather sweet, like a chick learning it’s first chirps. ‘Hollow fren,’ it said back to me. I was charmed, but not wanting it to learn poor pronunciation, I repeated the greeting, and so did it! Getting clearer each time, till it could almost pass for a true penguin itself.”

“Gustav is a wonderful teacher,” Adelina, his mate, stated with a proud nod of her lovely blue head. “You remember how well our chicks could enunciate, before they even caught their first fish.”

“But what of it, Gustav? What happened to sour this experience so?”

“We went back and forth, till I was satisfied. It lowered itself near the ground, and I moved closer, carefully, not wanting to alarm it. I was just about to tell it how pleased I was, that it learning so quickly, when all of a sudden, it looked me right in the eye and said ‘Fuck off, freak.’”

There were avian gasps all around.

“Oh no!”

“How rude!”

“I was so appalled, I could not bring myself to even chide it.” Gustav bowed his head in shame. “I turned and left without another word.”

“It said that to you? Oh dear.” Sebastian tilted his head in a piercing glare towards one of their fellows, focusing on the only one who was slapping his sides and chortling. “Björn, you scoundrel! What have I told you about yelling obscenities at the Beakless?”

Björn cackled and bobbed his head in defiance. “How was its enunciation, Gustav? You soft-hearted buffoon!”

moved-to-averinthine-deactivate

now that’s a fine addition to my post