Now what? @quesadillacarnivore - Tumblr Blog

The Fed: *pulls 1.5 trillion out of its ass to "fix" financial markets*

The establishment and their shills for the past year: bUt hOw aRe yOu gOnNa pAy fOr mEdiCaRe 4 aLL???

My favorite part was that after injecting $1.5 trillion, the market raised by 4% for 30 minutes then continued crashing through the floor lmao.

tumblingtumbleleaves

l-auteuse

That’s what im saying!!

thesundanceghost

remember when stephanie meyers was so desperate to tie up the loose ends of her love triangle that the paired off the extra dude with the couple’s newborn baby

lahoete

I do not recall

fire-withi-n

14bux

This is what the Sims see

buzzlightyearhugecock

when i was in grade 5 some kid told me the song “wake me up when september ends” was about 9/11 and i believed him until like three years ago

buzzlightyearhugecock

i cried so hard when we watched the lion king in first grade that my teacher called my parents and sent me home early

buzzlightyearhugecock

in high school i was questioned by the principal over drug use because i accidentally left my notebook in the bathroom and a teacher opened it to a drawing of an anime character saying “all i want for christmas is weed” but really i was a repressed nerd and never smoked a weed in my life

buzzlightyearhugecock

i made a joke about anal fissures in front of my extremely religious roommate and i thought she was gonna yell at me but instead she asked what an anal fissure was

buzzlightyearhugecock

i thought hatsune miku was a real person

buzzlightyearhugecock

in grade 8 i got in trouble for saying vagina in science class so the teacher made me fill out this stupid discipline worksheet and one of the questions was “how do i feel about what i did”

i answered “good”

clubpenguinkiller

jillyyfish

“again, weird, but also technically not a sin”

shittymoviedetails

Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone

orgyporgy

The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander.

foxyclock

FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse

hypokeimena

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs)

dabwax-deactivated20250410

Facebook sometimes isn’t a terrible place

transheadcrab

trying to convince my roommate not to eat tinfoil

transheadcrab

stop it bastard

ruinedchildhood

rcmclachlan

Turns out, 2000 was 20 years ago. Which is odd, since 1980 was also.

random-fandomania

meanplastic

I think cooking is my calling 😋❤️🍴

cheypowells

Well hang up

lunarplutonian

Venus -Pluto aspects in synastry

When people ask about ‘how Venus - Pluto aspects would feel in synastry’ I immediately know that they haven’t actually physically met that other person they’re interested in, because… because you know how it feels, don’t you, all of you with these aspects that even laid eyes on each other? Even if you haven’t spoken, if your bodies still haven’t physically touched, you know. It like inhaling burning air of a Moroccan desert straight through your guts and feeling frozen from the heat. It has nothing to do with ‘butterflies in your stomach’, it’s one giant butterfly waving its wings so hard you could throw your soul up. When you meet them, you know.