Trauma Side Blog @quiltwork - Tumblr Blog

Hey! Welcome to my blog :) Well, specifically, my trauma blog. I spent 2016-2021 recovering from my Complex PTSD and I documented my therapy sessions here so you could maybe learn something from them ♡

I’ll probably stick around a bit here and there to share stuff I like that might help as well. Also for pretty art and comfort characters 💐

Thank you for checking in, God bless you on your recovery 😍😊💫

#don't reblog

creepish

sorry for not responding i dont know enough words

watermotif

Oh i get it now. I'm going crazy

felicitypdf

Trying To Not Feel Doomed Tuesday

#did #osdd #might take this song with me to therapy #Youtube

oak23

Not to sound like a 90s shallow prep, but how you dress can affect your self esteem, and putting energy into wearing things you actively like and projecting an ideal of yourself through fashion instead of seeing clothes as things you have to put on out of obligation helps.

It also can give you a sense of control over your appearance that you otherwise wouldn’t have lmao

oak23

I bought a cape because of this

michaelmilkers

this post is written in a humorous tone but this is the realest shit.

two years ago i wore baggy sweatpants and flip flops every day because i was depressed but then decided eh to hell with it and bought some black edgy emo clothes bc thats how i always wanted to dress but never got a chance to and it was only then that i realized that the sweatpants flip flops look was just keeping me in my depression funk. i didnt like the way i looked and i didnt identify with the clothes i was wearing and it only made me feel worse.

i then went through my entire wardrobe and got rid of everything that made me feel that way.

now i have multiple outfit possibilities requiring different levels of effort but on days where putting on clothes just seems like a project i just have to put on black jeans and a band t-shirt and i can still feel good about the way i look which is a really good way to start off my day.

i can not recommend this approach to clothing enough.

12housescorpio

Can I just say this is the healthiest mindset related post I have seen on this sight and I want every single person on here to read this

My friend of 12 years blocked me but the knowledge of it was laughed off and blocked from my memory for months until I looked back on our conversation and realized it again and Finally Got It. The emotions finally hit me.

#Fed UP with my ass Lol #I'm slowly accepting it #actually did #actually osdd #actually dissociative

catasters

#cats

chuwenjie

i said “i’m not something to butter up and taste when you get bored”

#feelin this rn

#mention of physical abuse

I’ve really just had a rough year so far..

Some guy from my old high school messaged me and basically jump started me back into dating. Didn’t work out with him, he actually gave me acute trauma for a min when in a drunken lust-fueled state, he sexually assaulted me. When I confronted him about it, he was immensely regretful. When I look it over, he was always acting like a bully to people online, and treating me as a sexual object. It’s whatever.... but it was still hard on me.

Tried playing the therapist mentor to a family friend, who turned against me because I’m Christian, and he decided to get into New Age and attempt to give my 12-year old nephew hard drugs. Cool *sarcasm*. Searching around for new guys in the neighborhood or at local Bible studies for young adults; They don’t really see a need for growing up yet and only want to travel for a career in some faraway country. Just not really... all there for a woman, I guess. Dealt with a clingy boy, who gave major red flags when he talked about being labeled unpredictable by the government, and that the disabled community is “jealous” of his achievements Lol. Decided it was probably best to delete my dating accounts and try one last thing: Finally telling my best friend of 10 years that I had fallen for him 9 months ago (for the 3rd time) and after denying my feelings for so long, it was killing me and maybe he’d wanna go out? Nope. All he cares about is his job, awful family, poor mental health, literally anything else. There was no explanation on his feelings, he just threw mine aside and immediately tried to treat it as if it never happened and continue on with the conversation.

After sporadically crying about him (and my exiled child alters crying now, too), losing sleep over him, and now: My child alters are equating bugs with this recent rejection/abandonment because it reminds them of a past trauma I already processed. I only recently found I’ve been struggling with being emotionally honest due to being a system. And the first thing I try to do? Risk this friendship by telling him the truth. There’s been way too many life lessons I’ve learned this year, that could only be learned through experience. Things I never understood about relationships and how men and women work and work together are finally starting to make sense. I see too many bitter men and women swearing off dating and loving each other respectfully forever. I Do Not want to be like them. If I have to let someone go for my safety and sanity, I want to try my best to be as assertive (not aggressive) as possible, and quietly take my dignity and leave.

#Dating #Relationships #vent

I might come back to this blog, cause although I’ve processed through all the traumas, I’ve still got DID/OSDD and I’m finding out just how much that counteracts me trying to be as honest, real and authentic as possible. My brother’s girlfriend suggested I should go back to therapy and is helping me look for a therapist, and whether she finds the right one or not, it’s inching me in a good direction.

#I couldn't do that audiobook #I can barely go through a workbook in front of me #I have to depend on somebody else for this lol #did #osdd #did recovery #osdd recovery #actuallydissociative

mosaic-system

DID December days 11 &12

11-Tips for systems-

1. when you start to switch or dissociate, see if you can find the trigger, it will help so much with communication and understanding

2. Hosts, do your best to allow everyone that wants fronting time to have it when appropriate, scheduled front time is really good, and can help avoid others fronting for things they shouldn’t be

3. DONT BE EMBARRASSED OF GETTING THINGS FOR LITTLES I know I was and still kinda am, but it’s so so good for them to be able to engage with the current time in a positive way, so good for healing

4. You guys are a team, some have strengths and some have weaknesses, and by utilizing everyone’s strengths you all can reach your goals

5. System time keeping is a super helpful thing if everyone is willing to write time out, even if they don’t necessarily say what they’re doing, it can help account for why you lost time

12-Tips for new systems-

1. Persecutors aren’t evil. If anything they’re the ones hurting the most, patience and kindness with them goes a long way

2. Systems journals are the best

3. Sticky notes are your best friend, you can set reminders and ask questions, especially since communication can be very challenging as a new system. Stick them where they’ll see it

4. Talking to a therapist or mental health professional is a big yes, there is no “pill” for DID/OSDD, butthey can help give you treatment for grounding and help with other C-PTSD/PTSD symptoms that come along with this disorder

5. Avoidance is what created those amnesia barriers, understanding and acceptance helps to lower them.

6. Trauma memories suck when you find them, so most importantly remember that whatever happens was NOT your fault, you were a child

marlowe-art

weird weather

Lol There’s a lot of really helpful posts I’ve made on this blog, but for new followers, it’s possible they don’t know how to navigate to them, so I’ll probably add a tag for it soon

#Put in my pinned post as well #It's fairly easy to go through my archive in html #and find them all #instead of relying on notes