HI! im elliot :D am 19 (unfortunately ๐น) and here is an updated about me๐ฆถ
he/theyโข๏ธ
mmmm ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ rights โฆ
mcyt generally but i talk the most about DNF ๐
daiya no a & other sports anime/manga
astrology !!!!!!!!!
the slight dabble into tarot ๐
misc.: EEAAO, blue period, the arcana, studyblr (?), disguised toast, subliminals, fashion, art (kinda), mitski, witchcraft, leftism, my unmedicated ass adhd ๐คก
Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.
It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.
To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.
This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.
Join me below, if you would.
2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.
Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadnโt even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.
It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.
But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.
The next day, weโre on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that sheโs surprised the two of us arenโt up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.
โEveryone else?โ Goes I, โI thought they wouldโve shut that down already?โ
โOh no!โ goes she, โThe courts arenโt open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. Theyโre doing them all weekend long!โ
We didnโt know because social media wasnโt a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as Iโd read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.
"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, itโs a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but weโre not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?
The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.
We had slightly miscalculated.
Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone whoโd gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.
โIsnโt City Hall closed on Monday?โ I asked. โItโs a holidayโ
โOh sure,โ they reply, โbut people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.โ
โOh cool,โ we go, โBackup.โ
โMake sure youโre here if you do,โ they say, โbecause the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.โ
And all this shit is super not-legal, so theyโll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.
00000
We donโt get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.
Itโsโฆ incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of othersโ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.
At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, โThatโs Newsom.โ He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.
Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.
So dusk is starting to fall. Itโs February, so itโs only six or so, but itโs getting dark.
โShould we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?โ we ask.
โYeah, Iโm afraid thatโs not going to be possible.โ One of the volunteers tells us. โWeโre not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. Weโd need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.
Monday is the last day to do this, after all.
00000
So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.
The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people whoโre up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.
โUh.โ We go. โWhat the fuck is -this-?โ
So.
Remember why they werenโt going to be able to have people hang out overnight?
Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties thatโd gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.
Itโs 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least werenโt likely to loose job protections any time soon.).
Then it starts to rain.
We had not dressed for rain.
00000
Here is how the next six hours go.
Weโre in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. Itโs around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and youโve got a makeshift raincoat! So youโve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.
Everyone is so happy.
Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.
People online start making delivery orders.
Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because theyโre just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.
A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all weโre sinning and to please donโt. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against Godโs will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.
The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how โNot even DOGS do such things!โ Whichโฆ Yes they do.
A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that weโre willing to come out in the rain to do this while theyโre not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.
Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall weโre on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when weโre on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when weโre on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.
00000
We have Line Neighbors.
Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. Theyโve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. Heโs worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. Theyโd started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.
The most perky energetic joyful woman Iโve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. Sheโs their local friend whoโd just gotten their message about what theyโre doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.
Behind us are a lesbian couple whoโd been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. โWe met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because itโs our first love city.โ
โThen they announced -this-,โ the other one says, โand we canโt leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.โ
โI told them why,โ her partner says, โI donโt care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.โ
My husband-to-be and I look at each other. Weโve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? Weโre potentially taking a spot from another couple thatโd been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.โ
โDonโt you fucking dare.โ Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.
โThis is as much for you as it is for us!โ says the lesbian couple whoโve been together for over a decade behind us.
โYou kids are too cute together,โ says the gay coupleโs friend. โyou -have- to. Someday -youโre- going to be the old gay couple thatโs been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.โ
We stay in line.
Itโs while weโre on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. โCan we say weโre with you? His uncles are already inside and theyโre not letting anyone in who isnโt with a couple right there.โ โOf course!โ we say.
The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but thereโs free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so heโs having a great time.
We pass by a statue of Lincoln with โMarriage for All!โ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.
Itโs about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.
Theyโve promised that anyone whoโs inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. Weโre safe.
We still have a -long- way to go.
00000
Theyโre trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways Iโm not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.
Itโs after weโve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. โItโs an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you donโt have to do it there!โ
We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.
We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.
I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.
The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.
Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.
The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.
A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. Sheโs done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. โOh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today Iโm acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-โ
The guy behind the counter has been there since six. Itโs now 1:30. Heโs still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. โAlright, go to the Rotunda, theyโll direct you to someone whoโll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, theyโll direct you to -that- line.โ โCanโt you just mail it to us?โ โNormally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, weโre not going to be allowed to.โ
We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.
If youโve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, youโve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.
Thatโs for the people who didnโt bring their own wedding officials.
Thereโs a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. Theyโre doing the whole damn thing. Thereโs at least one more Rabbi at work, I canโt remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.
We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)
I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I canโt get the ring on my husbandโs finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.
There really isnโt a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that weโd made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands whoโd cheered for us generally.
Then we're married.
Then we get in line to get our license.
Itโs another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayorโs office.
Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked โTHANK YOU!โs that have been piled up against it.
We make it to the marriage records office.
I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then weโre done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.
It's almost 3PM.
00000
There are cheers, thereโs rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. Itโs no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. Thereโs barely even any news vans.
We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading โCongratulations!โ jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.
Iโm at the BART station, weโre waiting for our train back south, and Iโm sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. โHey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I justโฆ Iโm so happy for you. Iโm so proud of what you could do. Iโm- Iโm just really glad, glad you could get to do this.โ
He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.
Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.
We get back to our car and climb in.
Itโs 4:30 and we are starving.
Thereโs a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.
We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what weโd just done.
We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.
The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsomโs marriages.
My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. โNo! No one knew that theyโd go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! Iโll just be there for the next one!โ
00000
It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didnโt even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was โmarriage really isnโt that important, aside from the legal benefits. Itโs just confirming what you already have.โ
But maybe itโs just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and Iโve never really come up with a better metaphor is, โItโs like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each otherโs support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.
It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.
I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. Itโs been twenty years and weโre still together and still married.
We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. Weโd done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husbandโs collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.
Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.
It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldnโt negate it that time.
Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"
And that was that.
00000
When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didnโt expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldnโt see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.
I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before Iโd barely started by 30s. I never thought Iโd be in my 40s and itโd be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers wouldโve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.
I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.
I never thought Iโd live in this world.
And itโs twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.
I donโt have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you canโt predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.
The future weโre resigned to doesnโt have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.
And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those whoโre against it will brave.
Naming the female razor brand Venus is so personally offensive to me....you think Venus the goddess of love and sex and beauty was shaving her PUSSY? Go kill yourself
If thereโs one thing I feel I can unambiguously brag about, itโs that Iโm great with patients who are in pain crises. Iโm tenacious and stubborn about lowering 10/10 pain to something more manageable. I got a patient in โ25 out of 10โ pain at start of shift down to a 4 by midnight and it only took opioids, Tylenol, muscle relaxants, ice packs, warm blankets, fresh coffee, repositioning, an abdominal binder I scrounged up, a phone call to the surgeon to get lidocaine patches ordered, and some serious chit chatting with the patient while we waited for all that to kick in. We didnโt end up needing IV medication, we didnโt have to increase opioids, we didnโt need to add any medication that would potentially delay discharge, and the majority of what I did is all stuff she can also do at home so itโs a sustainable pain management plan. This is my absolute favorite thing with nursing, I love love love managing pain, I know I talk about it a lot but itโs the most satisfying thing in the world. I love watching someone emerge from a horrendous haze of pain until they feel like a person again. Also Iโm scheduling this to post well after my shift is done so that I donโt jinx anything, also while I was writing this post I had to take a quick break for two hours half way through because someone started having a seizure. My job is wild. I used to be a barista.
@irrellavant oops you activated my trap card of asking about something I care about, please enjoy this monologue. Also itโs not comprehensive, canโt stress that enough, this is a just a lil long tumblr post made by a just some nurse who isnโt a palliative care expert and is also writing this on her cell phone on break. Some of this stuff is gonna be pretty obvious! I just would feel remiss if I left it out. And also please anyone who has pain or addresses pain, please feel free to add on. I'm always looking for new ideas and new insights, especially from the patient side so please please do chime in if you like. Okay SO
For me, the biggest thing is conveying to the patient that you care that they are in pain and that you are trying to make it better. I remember I had a patient who was in horrible pain all night, we never got it down, we never got her comfortable, but at the end of the night she thanked me so sweetly for trying and she said that knowing I was taking her pain seriously helped her feel better even if it didn't make her hurt less. Just because someone is in pain, it doesn't mean they have to suffer, if that makes sense. I think one of the worst things about pain in the hospital is the feeling that you've been abandoned to experience it. Someone gives you a pill (or not even that) and says "okay bye" then you go back to writhing in agony. I make sure that before I leave the room of a patient who is still in a pain crisis, that I let them know what the plan is and what the next step is. "You just got 5 mg of oxycodone, which will take up to an hour to take full peak effect. If your pain doesn't get better after that hour, I can give you another dose" or "I'm going to go page your doctor to see if I can get you an additional dose" or "I need to step away right now, but I'll be back in 20 minutes to see how you're doing and if the heating pad is helping." I tell the patient "we're gonna try X, which should do Y, but if it doesn't, the next step is Zโ and then I make sure to follow up with them.
I also try to be honest. I never promise that they'll be pain-free, just that we'll keep trying. We aim for small but achievable goals. If it's acute pain, like you just had a surgery or something, I try to contextualize it for the patient. "We're not gonna get you pain-free ten hours post surgery, but we can get you more comfortable than you are right now." Patients are usually fine with being a six outta ten pain if theyโve been otherwise sitting at a nine. Since Iโm night shift, I often tell them my goal is for them to get at least a couple hours of sleep and ask them how that sounds.
Then pharmacologically, I look at the meds I do and don't got. If a patient is having incisional pain, lidocaine patches on either side can be great for just numbing the area up. If the patient can get oxy every 6 hours but routinely gets very painful again just three hours after taking the med, then maybe the dose or the timing is not right. Maybe under prns we've got so many opioids and not a single NSAID, and there's not a contraindication. Maybe their pain is caused by muscle spasms, in which case a muscle relaxer could be a great addition. Maybe the pain is nerve pain that would respond much better to gabapentin instead. Or maybe you need IV dilaudid to quickly get the breakthrough pain down to a manageable level so that the other meds have a fighting chance to do anything. If meds arenโt available, these are things you can page the doc about and discuss with them.
I'm also a big fan of around the clock medications for patients that have had poor pain control. Ask patients if they want to be woken up for pain meds (again, patients that have been that painful usually say yes). Explain how it's easier to keep the pain low than it is to play catch up after pain spikes. Pain control works best when you avoid the spikes in the first place. There's no point getting someone out of a pain crisis if you then withdraw all your cares until they're in a pain crisis again.
I also try plenty of non-pharmacological methods of lowering pain or enhancing comfort. (Sometimes you can't lower pain! Sometimes all you can do is enhance comfort!) Does the patient have a topical cream that helps with pain? Could it be applied while gently stretching the muscles and really going to town with a foot massage? Has the patient just thrown up and would like a bed bath to feel clean again? Would they benefit from heat? Or ice? Or warm blanket? Ice and then on top of that a warm blanket? Do they want some pudding? Do they need a little candy from the nurse station candy drawer? If their lower back hurts from being in bed so long, can we get them out of bed? Even if it's three am and we need to lift them with a Hoyer to their recliner, that might still be the best intervention. I had a patient where the only thing that helped her hip pain was going on walks so over the night we went on a bunch of walks. Worked better than any meds.
What about conversation? Do they need someone to cry with? Do they want to talk about pets or their diagnosis or the bizarre TLC show that's playing on the TV? A lot of this is feeling out conversation, and I don't have great advice for that besides if you make yourself obviously available and interested in people, they tend to open up to you.
Also Iโm a big fan of asking if thereโs anything I can do while we wait for the meds to kick in. Thatโs usually when I do a bunch of those non-pharm interventions, because itโs efficient (we are in fact waiting for the meds to kick in) and it makes the waiting less miserable. I think it also makes the waiting feel less helpless. We arenโt just waiting an hour for the dilaudid to do something, weโre also tucking you in with a warm blanket and giving you the finest jello I could scrounge up.
And obviously, I ask the patient if the pain they're currently feeling is uncommon for them, either in the type of pain or the intensity. This is good for general assessment stuff and to figure out if the pain itself is the problem to be managed or if there's something new causing the pain. If the cause of the pain can be managed, that's my priority with pain medication as a supportive therapy because like if you're a paraplegic and suddenly you're complaining of an intense pounding miserable headache, giving tylenol isn't the right intervention when what I should be doing is assessing for autonomic dysreflexia.
And I ask them about the type of pain they're having and if they know what works for them to manage it. Plenty of chronic pain patients can tell you what is and isn't effective. Maybe at home they're on 50 mg of oxycodone a day, but right now in the hospital they're only prescribed 40 mg. Or hell, they're still getting 50 mg but they're here because theyโre sick so their baseline level of opioids isn't gonna be enough because that's to manage their every day pain and not their new super hell hospital pain. Or they know aspercreme works like a dream on their legs but not on their back. Or patients know that ibuprofen works better for them for this type of pain than a fentanyl patch does, or they don't want to take dilaudid because it makes them nauseated, in which case you can try premedicating them with an antiemetic.
Also when your shift is done, write down all the stuff that worked to control pain in your nursing note so thereโs a record of it in case someone needs to do it again.
If thereโs one thing that I have found successful though, and I know this might sound cheesy, but it is CARING and showing the patient that you care. You care that they are in pain, you are working with them to get them more comfortable, if something doesnโt work you will keep trying, because pain sucks and you care that they are in pain. Even when you have to leave their room, you let them know that you will come back. They arenโt left totally alone to suffer. Again, sometimes you canโt decrease pain but you can increase comfort. I believe there is genuine comfort in knowing that someone is trying very hard on your behalf to make you feel better, even if they donโt make you feel better.
Iโve had chronic pain for 16 years, and this is most reaffirming perspective on pain Iโve ever heard from a healthcare worker. Thank you for caring and doing everything you do; it seems like such little things but to those with chronic pain, it means the world.
I know AI evil bad or whatever but. I'm using chatGPT to help me brainstorm worldbuilding ideas and it's lit. It's saving me hours of research by aggregating relevant data into a readout that's super accessible which is an interesting utility of a tool that's been criticized for feeding inaccurate information. None of that matters because make believe land has anything you want.
Listen okay. Ever since I started writing I wanted to create a bot that I could talk to about my characters that would ask me questions about character development so that I wouldn't feel bad about infodumping to my friends. This is literally a childhood dream come true
I've given the bot some information about a location in my novel. (The information is not stored, and when the chat is deleted, any user inputs and bot outputs are deleted. Additionally, any collected information is anonymous). I need some inspiration for a specific setting.
Much of what it suggested were things I already had thought of, of course. But by telling the AI that I like certain suggestions more, I can then ask it to do this.
And while obviously, I'm not going to copy and paste this description into my novel, it provides a good frame of reference. When I am writing a scene in this location, I can use this information to build a richer atmosphere.
they put pussy in the water supply to keep the lesbians healthy
โ Fact Check
There are currently no jurisdictions worldwide that mandate the addition of pussy to drinking water, nor have any clinical trials shown that the addition of pussy to drinking water has any significant effect on the heath of lesbians.
For more information on Tumblr Fact Check or to report inaccuracy, please see our reports page.
these lines can show locations that youโre happy, where you gain lots of attention without effort (possibly fame), locations you may go on an ego journey, places youโre able to express your true self, where people may be most generous towards you, and places youโll develop as a person๏ฟผ
Moon lines
these lines can show locations you have emotional transformations, places that may remind you of your childhood, places that bring your comfortability (but be careful because you may be stuck in your comfort zone in these locations), places you may have become pregnant or have a higher chance of it, and the best locations to travel with your family (especially your mother/feminine figures)
Mercury Lines
these lines can show locations where your perceptions in life change/are challenged, locations that change you (usually not big transformations like pluto lines but rather small ones that are more internal), possibly locations you were in lower education at (pre school, elementary, sometimes middle school, etc), locations friends youโve met through social media live, where you can gain social media fame, and locations youโre more mentally active as well as sociable
Venus lines
these lines can show locations you fall in love/are most likely to find love, where there will be harmony in your life, places where youโll have the most self love, locations you may have a glow up at (beauty & fashion wise), locations youโll feel the most beautiful at, locations that may change your values or where many people align with your values, and locations where we receive lots of affection
Mars lines
these lines can show places where we find our passions, are most ambitious, are most confident, places we desire to be (mars represents quickness/speed so you may not want to live here long term), places where conflict may occur in your life, locations you feel most competitive, locations youโre most athletic/energetic at, and possibly locations youโll have an abundant sex life (mars represents lust)
Jupiter lines
these lines can show places we attract wealth, can gain lots of success at, receive many blessings and new opportunities at, locations we have the most luck, good locations to travel to, locations where you can grow a lot as a person, locations youโll become wiser and gain lots of knowledge living at, locations youโre most popular, locations you go to college/uni, locations that bring you lots of fulfillment in life, and places you feel most optimistic at
Saturn lines
these lines can show places that are challenging for you to live, where you learn karmic lessons, locations you have to work the hardest in/learn lessons about work ethic, locations where limitations/restrictions are created and that need to be worked through, locations you may have lived in a past life, where you must work passed fears, locations you may dwell a lot on the past, and where you must learn self discipline
Uranus lines
these lines can show places you make lots of friends, locations youโre very independent, locations where you make lots of connections, locations where you have lots of ups and downs, locations that bring sudden change to your life out of nowhere, locations that bring out the unique side of you, locations you feel most free, locations you feel rebellious, and locations you can gain internet fame
Neptune lines
these lines show locations you feel are an escape for you, locations you have the most vivid dreams in, locations you can attract your manifestations faster, locations you feel most creative, locations you may go on a spiritual journey at, locations that create confusion in your life, locations where youโre most inspired, and locations that living at/visiting can help you to better understand the mysteries in your life
Pluto lines
these lines can show locations you have the most/biggest transformations internally & externally in your life (coming out of here after living at this line long term can make you an entirely different person so this is a good place to go if you want a major change in life), locations where you may become very intimate with people, locations you may have an abundant sex life, locations you feel most powerful, locations you may feel lots of jealousy, and locations that obsessions may be created
North node lines (asc lunar node lines)
these lines can show locations you can fulfill your life purpose/souls mission at, locations you can find your true purpose at, and locations you can grow spiritually
South node lines (desc lunar node lines)
these lines can show locations you lived at in a past life (similar to saturn lines), these locations may feel familiar to you and you could have lots of deja vu here, and you may meet soulmates/twin flames from past lives in these locations - these arenโt locations you want to live at long term because they wonโt help you fulfill your life purpose theyโll just make you take steps backwards rather than move forward
note: these lines canโt be found for free unfortunately you can only see them on a paid astrology app on macbooks called astrogold
Chiron lines
these lines can show locations you feel the need to help others a lot, locations youโll heal others in, and locations where deep inner healing in yourself can occur
Black moon lilith lines
these lines can show locations we have lots of challenging temptations, where our shadow self may be challenged, where we may feel the most sexual empowerment, where challenging obsessions may occur, where parts of yourself you canโt repress may come to the surface, and where you may seek lots of vengeance
note: these can only be seen on astro-seek.com โs astrocartography map
Went outside my fandom bubble and saw people being cancelled for shipping two characters who tried to kill each other once damn is this the limit nowadays
