jess

jess, she/they, 26, bi, poly, pisces, california etc etc. . . . fandoms you can expect to resurface at random: sherlock, supernatural, the vampire diaries, hannibal, house, marvel, true blood, lucifer, criminal minds, buffy & angel, rick and morty, psych, our flag means death, the hitcher, fast & furious, transformers, avatar the last airbender, and most recently baldur’s gate 3!…. more to come i’m sure lmao i've gotta get rid of this list soon

[woodsdyke]

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

[cpunkhobie]

This is the funniest thing I've ever read. I would have LOVED to see that

[arbis-official]

three types of people

[edgar-allan-possum]

Maybe quantum physics is different in a universe where a mob boss built a working supercollider that could create portals to other worlds in 2018

[belethlegwen]

@abominablesnowdude's tags are too good to let vanish

[queerofthedagger]

sometimes you just gotta go "man i actually don't give a shit" and keep scrolling. online survival skill 101

[recurring-polynya]

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

[starspice-y]

@ss-shitstorm

[willgrahamscock]

sometimes you think yeah i'm over this hyperfixation then you log onto tumblr dot com and your mutual is blorbo posting in such a niche and perverted way that it relights the flame for another decade

[willgrahamscock]

I am not immune to propaganda, all it takes is a few gifs of some gay bullshit happening and i'm locked in

[pissvortex]

Christians when they die and go to science instead of heaven

[electronicmail]

btw with email u dont have to lick the envelope. i know a lot of people have been doing that and its fine and all but you dont acrtually have to do that with email.

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

stop deactivating

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

[kirishima-hates-terfs]

[officialpenisenvy]

calling a mutual by their name and having to check you're right like omg what if they transitioned and changed their name in the twelve hours since i last saw them on my dash

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

your number one priority should be your tumblr mutual. your second priority nothing. there is nothing else

[pointnclick]

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

[bonivers]

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

[secondbeatsongs]

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

you have been on tumblr for like 12 years why

the earth doesmt want me

[dr-gaytorius]

The fact of the matter is that I do not want to do it

[dr-gaytorius]

"do what?" you might wonder. well. [gestures broadly]

[quasi-normalcy]

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

He does so to dodge the draft

[power-handmaiden]

when I was in high school I had a literature teacher who had a policy of unlimited extra credit. All you had to do was read a book by a notable author (his discretion) and have a little chat with him after school to prove that you read it. No limits, no need for variety (one month I decided I really loved Kurt Vonnegut and just read everything of his I could get my hands on).

Yes, I was tearing through books constantly, and talking to this teacher at least weekly. Because even though I always loved reading as a kid, literature was always a very weak subject for me in terms of a teaching-to-standardized-test school setting (I just do awful on "what color were the curtains" type multiple choice questions. Those details don't stick in my memory THEY JUST DON'T). But that didn't matter for this class. I could just read my way out of any bad test score. I have always had fond memories of how I "fudged" my way through that class and "abused' the extra credit policy.

I was thinking about it again today, and only just now realized that he absolutely tricked me into being well-read, while my teenage self thought I was totally getting away with something. THAT MOTHERFUCKER. I hope he's doing well.

[mangonetics]

ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em

[supreme-leader-stoat]

On it, boss!

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Bad news, boss!