✨Trashcan sparkles✨

[hazbinficrecs]

Do you have any radiodust recs? 👉👈

Ooh, good thinking! :D

My Absolute Top-Tier Favorite RadioDust fic is, alas, an unfinished masterpiece:

Rewind by JadeTigress (Rated M, incomplete as of 2020) features the most FASCINATING premise, in which Alastor gets his memories of Hell wiped from him, and instead of telling anyone he can't remember anything, he just kinda "yes-and"s everyone's attitudes towards him. And this largely works in his favor, except when it comes to Angel Dust's flirting. So now they're BOTH confused. xD It may be unfinished, and may indeed stay that way (who knows, I'm subscribed just in case!), but it makes for FASCINATING food for thought, and a fun set of daydreams for what this particular pair's future might hold. :P

A Quiet Afternoon by InkPhoenix (Rated E, oneshot) is a RadioAppleDust (Alastor/Angel Dust/Lucifer) fic, so.................whether this counts or not depends ENTIRELY on your own perspective. It's a multishipper's dream, though! It features an established and very sweet RadioDust relationship, in which they try Lucifer on for size for the first time. I love how all three of them appreciate the aspects of the other two's ship: Lucifer appreciates the way Alastor and Angel check in with each other throughout, Angel appreciates the chaotic RadioApple dick-measuring contests, and Alastor appreciates the innate gentleness of AppleDust.

Five Times Angel Called Alastor Daddy by LadyMostDeject is a fun one (Rated E, incomplete as of Sept 2025), which is exactly as it says on the tin, and I can guarantee it's a delight even for those without daddy fetishes!

And while I have not read this one personally, Anguish of the Marrow by JayJBird94 (Rated M, holy shit this thing has 731k words and counting???) was personally recommended by The RadioDust Fan in my life, with the following commentary: "It was started when the pilot was all we had so unique take on alastors powers. Alastor has a BEAUTIFUL relationship emotionally with everyone because he is portrayed as a narcissist to the extreme but highly aware of it. Angel is a badass and coping"

Additionally, that same friend recommends skimming the author JayJBird's public bookmarks for more RadioDust fics!

Happy reading! :D

[vadoodlevee]

Honeymoon~

[rillyrillo]

🌿 Something is Lurking in the Water 🌿

[himitsu-png]

[peque917-deactivated20250926]

Monsters are not safe anymore

Repost if he is not safe in your account askjdhajksdha

[fletchingbrilliant]

oops

[alabasterpickles]

Hey everybody!!

Ready for chapter three??

Excellent because it is now UP and ready for reading!

Had kind of a… chaotic weekend 😅 to put it mildly, so no extracurricular art got done, but! I did find one Hades and Pers sketch I’ve never shared (pretty sure??) so I’m sharing below the cut

One other little update about this month’s chapter:

I have two back-to-back chapters that are pretty short. They’re filler/context chapters, so I’m considering doubling up and posting Chapter 4 on the 28th. We’ll see how that pans out because I might just plan a special piece or something for later this month, too!

You can read my whole fic, "A Matter of Life and Death" here

Anyhoozles, please enjoy! Thank you for all the support and comments so far, you’re the best, folks!

[enthuzimuzzyme]

I did not reblog here!! What!! Sorry guys, we're here now!!

[writingmaz]

Writing Tips

Punctuating Dialogue

✧

➸ “This is a sentence.”

➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.

➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”

➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”

➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”

➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”

➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.

“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.

“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”

➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”

➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”

However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!

➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.

If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)

➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“

“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.

➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.

➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”

➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.

“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”

➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.

“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”

[herstories]

omg this is so helpful

[writing-prompt-s]

!!!!!!!

[notherpuppet]

A friend of mine made this comment on bluesky and I was totally struck by inspiration. I love wordplay (no matter if I speak the language or not! 😝)

Translation:

[notherpuppet]

📻 v. 🍎

[supdudes95]

So, someone on bluesky told me my keychain drawing reminded them of Alice in Wonderland, sooo... XD It ended up living rent free in my head ever since, so I had to.. I just absolutely had to draw it, and I guess I have another story to add to my list of stories I want to write.

Featuring Al as the Mad Hatter and Lucifer as the King of Hearts XD

For those who want to see them dance, here's the first one I made <3

He stole the hat

[motherfrigginpsas]

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

[feytaline-loves-deactivated2018]

For the love of god PLEASE REBLOG THIS

I see this stupid fucking post one a goddamn week and someone is going to literally fucking die from it

[abbessolute]

@oneshoeshort

[oneshoeshort-deactivated2021060]

IF YOU WONT LISTEN TO OP, LISTEN TO THE RETIRED PARAMEDIC WHO HAS SEEN PEOPLE DIE FROM THIS SHIT.

[sirro85-blog]

Poison control may advise diluting the toxin somehow like with water or milk, otherwise do not give them something to drink and take the empty pill bottle/ blister pack with you to the hospital.

[becausewedefinetheworld]

btw just searched it up, US poison control number is 1 800 222 1222

[arcadialedger]

REBLOG

[isearchedtheyooniverse-deactiva]

F U C K I N G

R E B L O G

T H I S

W H E N E V E R

Y O U   S E E   T H I S

O N   Y O U R   D A S H

[astro-so]

UM

R E B L O G

I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE

R E B L O G

[prick-o]

i felt like this was important idk

[rav3r-d0ll]

PLEASE REBLOG!

[whisperingsoup]

In Canada, 1-844-764-7669 will connect you with a national poison control center

[parttimepunner]

I found a list of poison center contact numbers around the world

Region1 Country Name of centre Address 1 Address 2 Address 3 Address 4 City Postal code Administrative telephone Fax Emergency telephone Ema

[mcgeese-deactivated20241112]

Reblog if you care about people’s lives!

[frogpantsthebloodgod-deactivate]

Fucking reblog for the stop of misinformation

[pansyfilia]

fuck yeah reblog

[radio-daddy]

Ya know sometimes when the big scary letters say reblog maybe you should listen

[radioapple-heathen]

Radioapple Fic Rec MasterList (Part 1/2)

(as of 03/04/2025)

Disclaimer:

Hey all! As is always the case with rec lists, this is completely subjective and curated to my somewhat picky tastes! For background, I am a panromantic/demisexual 30+ married woman with AuDHD. I've also been in fandom/writing for 20+ years.

My Preferences:

> I love crisp and clean writing, but I can usually overlook grammatical errors/typos if the storytelling is compelling enough. How Al + Lucifer are characterized, however, is extremely important to me. > I gravitate towards top!Lucifer but thoroughly enjoy them as switches (and enjoy reading exclusively top!Al as well).

> I can be picky about my slowburns. I have ADHD so if it takes more than 100k> to hold hands, occasionally my brain goes BRRR and gives up altogether. Absolutely no shade to very slow burns, they can be absolutely beautiful, it's just the way my attention span works.

> I don't read unhappy endings or hurt no comfort fics (who hurt u?). However, if an unhappy or ambiguous ending happens within a series installment, I can continue so long as some sort of happy or hopeful ending is on the horizon. > I don't really read poly fics, I am very much a monogamous RA shipper. However, there are a few fics on this list (like... 2 or 3, very small amount) that there is some kind of background poly relationship happening but the RA boys take center stage.

It goes without saying that this is not an exhaustive list. There are nearly 6k radioapple fics on A03, I am sure I have overlooked some bangers or fan-favorites. These are just MY personal favorites, the ones that I have personally bookmarked to re-read again and again in the future. If I simply listed fics that I liked/enjoyed reading, this list would be 87x times as long.

I organized this list to the best of my ability so that people can 1. find specific tropes they are interested in and 2. avoid potential triggering subject matter. However, at the end of the day, you are in charge of your mental health and are responsible for reading the tags of each fic on this list. Always take care of yourself first.

There are many fics that have overlapping tropes/subject matter. I tried my best to place fics under headers that I found the most fitting. Occasionally, I could not for the life of me PICK ONE, so there are a few fics listed in multiple places.

In an attempt to embrace self-love and pride in my works, I will add my own fics as well.

If you find an error with how I've labeled something, please PM me and PLEASE PLEASE be kind about it. I've spent WEEKS on this rec list and have put so much work into it! <3 Part 2 will be up shortly.

Legend:

If something is labeled as 'Haitus,' that means it has not been updated in at least six months (since Sept 4th, 2024)

If Mature/Explicit Content,

🍎📻 = Top!Lucifer/Bottom!Alastor

📻🍎 = Top!Alastor/Bottom!Lucifer 

📻🍎🔄 = Top/Bottom Versatile

If the fic is not tagged with this info and I was unable to glean it from the material (i.e. hands jobs, oral sex, mutual masturbation, then it will not have these designations)

NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!!!!!

Enemies/Rivals to FWB/Lovers/A Secret Third Thing | Developing Relationship

'loml' by radioapple-heathen: Rated M || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Lucid Dreams' by CyberWords: Rated T-M || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'To Earn Your Favor' by downpourdaisy: Rated M-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'RadioApple Broadcast' by blatantblue: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'machinations' by fiveandnocents: Rated T-M || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'With a Coffee and a Caress' by winterveritas: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Ruination of Lucifer' by Syaunei: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Wicked Game' by TrashDemonx: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'No hiding place down here' by ReminiscentBells: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'an acquired heart' by finalizer: Rated T-M || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'Blood, Water, and Other Bonds' by Minimalistless: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Hunger Pains' by TheAffableScamp: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'if you could tell me (what you want from me)' by FrostbiteFable: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my tongue's acquired tolerance (for tastes i couldn't stand)' by FrostbiteFable: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my kingdom come undone' by literalmetaphor: Rated M || Multi-Chap || Hiatus

'A Red (Thorny) Rose' by raindrop_rouge: Rated T-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'no good deed' by Rainbowcarousels: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Line of Sight' by yersifanel: Rated T-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'I'm fine, just swell, so totally well' by writeflightdoingalright: Rated M Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'How to Seduce the King of Hell' by johnnyfucksup: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship' by keelywolfe: Rated M-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'What the Hart Wants' series by yersifanel: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

Awake, Arise by iffervescent: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Wonderful Nothing' by commonoceanfish: Rated M || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Ruled by the Vibe I'm Bringing (Serving Myself)' by commonoceanfish: Rated M || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'dating alastor 101: a step by step guide' by highinfinities: Rated M-E || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'Never Enough' by corgiss: Rated T-E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'Just Kiss Already' by X_Gon_Give_It: Rated T || Series || Hiatus

'Through Time, Through Death' by PIRI_OOCH: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Soulmate AU || Multi-Chap || Hiatus

'Hail, Horrors, Hail' by daphnerunning, Galiko: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

Human!Alastor x Devil!Lucifer

'All changed, changed utterly' by ReminiscentBells: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Series || Complete

'somewhere down the line' by kj_crwn: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Born for Adversity' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'A Momentary Radiance' by ReminiscentBells: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Something In Me Understood' by winterveritas: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'God Forsaken' by Kisama: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Oneshot || Complete

Murder Boyfriends/Husbands | Courting Via Murder

'Mine to Avenge' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'eat your heart out' by fallingtheseus: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Pass The Knife' by SiegeGunn: Rated M-E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

QPR (Queer Platonic Relationship)

'Managerial Liberties' by Budinca: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'something in the static' by Adventurer515: Rated T || Human!Al x Guardian Angel!Lucifer || Multi-Chap || Complete (Note: This fic is slated to be part of a series. As of this time, the ending is open/ambiguous).

'to every thing there is a season' by issu (Issushaim): Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'for he gives to his beloved sleep' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'loveproof' by spoondrifts: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

Bonus: QPR plus Sentient Hotel

'Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War' by Budinca: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'The Care and Keeping of Radio Demons' by AlligatorEyes: Rated M || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress || (Note: This series is not explicitly tagged QPR but those are the vibes I'm picking up on. I will edit if anything changes.)

Human AUs

'Bloody Mary (Drink Me Down)' by highkey_louki: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Modern AU || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Passing Ships' by Biblicalplague + theparanoidandroid: Rated M || 📻🍎🔄 || 1920s AU || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'If You Don't Let Go (Then I Won't Let Go)' by a_wrinkle_in_truth: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Modern AU || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Hand-Grenade Heart' by a_wrinkle_in_truth: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Pacific Rim AU || Series || Complete

'Hope Against Hope' by OrlesianHat: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Modern AU || Multi-Chap || Complete

'Y is for YouTube' by alexjosten, lordofgravity: Rated T || Modern AU || Oneshot || Complete

Angst with a Happy Ending | Hurt/Comfort

'Even as a Shadow, Even as a Dream' by winterveritas: Rated E || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'T is for Tax Evasion' by CyberWords: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Between The Shadow And The Soul' by winterveritas: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'Chokehold' by keelywolfe: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Personal Injury' by keelywolfe: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'i dont wanna keep secrets just to keep you' by bakunawa_moon: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete  

Swing (a grand gesture) this way by Miizurichan: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my love, where did you go?' by astralitte: Rated T || Greek Gods AU || Oneshot || Complete

Consensual but not safe or sane | Cannibalism as a Love Language | Dead Doves Everywhere

'imagine being loved by me' by deliciously_devient: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'make a devotee out of me' by deliciously_devient: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'A Gentlemen's Accord, If You Will' series by walkingcatfish: Rated E || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'Strange Appetites' by Gotllphi: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Human Al x Devil Lucifer || Multi-Chap || Hiatus

'the devil's got nothing on me' by a_wrinkle_in_truth: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Zombie Apocalypse AU || Oneshot || Complete

'Thread Devilly' series by Miizurichan: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || Hiatus

'By Name' by Eunicorne: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

Lucifer is The Devil for a reason

'Price of Admission' by TrashDemonx: Rated E || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Multi-Chap || Complete

'The Devil in I' by TrashDemonX: Rated E || Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting || Oneshot || Complete

'where there is no water' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'I Am the Devil's Favourite Sacrificial Lamb' by HuntingPeople: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Human AU || Oneshot || Complete

Fluff | Domestic | Romantic | Pining | Slice of Life | Soft | Intimacy Exploration

'My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys' by radioapple-heathen: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'you were never not mine' by radioapple-heathen: Rated T || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'No Rest For the Wicked' by MothballMilkshake: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Irregular Programming' by keelywolfe: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Having the Day Called For You' by MothballMilkshake: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'pretty angel, pretty love of mine' by SadMothNoises: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Lavender and Smoke' by pervertanarchy: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Intimacy is Uncharted Territory' by flaggermousse: Rated G-M || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'False Witness' by fourshadesofgreen: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'W is for Worship' by astralitte: Rated E || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

‘Finders Keepers’ by egg_thief: Rated G || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Social Cues' by DecemberCamie: Rated G || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Lips Like Yours' by commonoceanfish: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Treading New Waters' by egg_thief: Rated T || Omegaverse || Oneshot || Complete

'my love is mine, all mine' by silverbindings: Rated G || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Kisses' by umiekii: Rated M || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'The Waking Up Is The Hardest Part' by CandyWraptor: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

Proposals | Marriage  

'He of Living Entity' by sithmarauder: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'The Definition of Insanity (Results May Vary)' by MothballMilkshake: Rated M || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || Complete

'a bird on a spit in his chest' by orphan_account: Rated T || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Take Our Defenses' by Miizurichan: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canon Divergent - Time Travel || Oneshot || Complete 

MPregnancy || Child-rearing

'Two Princes' by BleakCinema: Rated T-E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || In-Progress

'Cataclysmic Catechism' by wyldefire: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'Expectant' by TheAffableScamp: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄 || Canonverse || Series || Complete

'the very flowers of music' by Rainbowcarousels: Rated E || 📻🍎🔄|| Canonverse || Series || Complete

'acts of creation' by fallingtheseus: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

'Craving' by Miizurichan: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'light of the waning moon' by bakunawa_moon: Rated E || 🍎📻 || Canonverse || Oneshot || Complete

'Complete In You' by wanderthoughtfanfic: Rated E || 📻🍎 || Canonverse || Multi-Chap || In-Progress

[fletchingbrilliant]

The Radio Angel

hey look. it's a cover for a new fic! me and @zaebeecee been working on this baby for a while and have a pretty good size of work done on it already.

also using this cover as an excuse to play with new ways to do Alastor's hair >.>

shared some scenes from this one a little bit ago too so if you want a sneak peak there's that

also hey meet gabriel

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[enthuzimuzzyme]

A Matter of Life and Death

A Disneyfied Retelling of the Famous Underworld Love Story

Introduction:

There once was a lonely king...

Who was tasked to eternally watch over the deceased and the damned under the earth. Sounds familiar, right? We've all heard that story told a million times before, in a million different ways. But, despite all the misfortune that befell him, Hades remains, to this day, a living testament to the power of love.

How? How could a grumpy, ill-tempered death god really represent the power of love, you might ask. Well, I'm about to tell you– in about twenty chapters.

This is a story about how the bitter Lord of the Underworld came to meet his much beloved Queen, and the controversy their unlikely union has stirred up over the millennia.

Chapter One:

New Beginnings Meet Old Endings

     Spring. Hades thought bitterly. Again.

      The Lord of the Underworld watched with glowing eyes as a single flower petal bobbed slowly passed his nose. Snatching it out of the air in one swift motion, Hades reduced the leaflet to embers in a small violet puff of smoke. Hermes, who’d been relaxing on the bow of an olive tree nearby, eyed him discomfitly from his perch.

     “The appeal continues to escape me.” Hades jeered, flicking flakes of stiff gray ash away from his fingers.

     Hades was on one of his semi-regular reconnaissance missions, gathering any salvageable blackmail material he could on his brothers. Since his retrieval from Tartarus, he’d been under close observation by his Olympian constituents. They couldn’t risk another titanic fiasco.

     Poor Hermes had even (begrudgingly) been assigned his not-so-temporary chaperone. How hard could it be? Zeus had mused. Report any suspicious behavior back to me. Which had sounded simple enough at the time, but everything Hades did seemed suspicious and keeping him out of trouble proved more difficult than Hermes could’ve imagined. Especially when it was a slow day in the Underworld.

     Suddenly, a faint orange glow—like a loose beam of sunlight—caught Hades’s attention from some distance away.

     “Who is that?” Hades whistled.  Hermes turned to see what could possibly be interesting enough to distract him from grousing about Spring.

     The messenger god squinted through his spectacles and caught a glimpse of her.

     Across the field from them, standing under an apricot tree, was a woman. Only, Hades judged by the way she glowed, and the way she was able to simply poof! fruit out thin air,  that she couldn’t possibly have been mortal.

     The pair of deities were close enough to this mystery goddess that the hankering God of the Dead could just make out how lovely she was; long copper curls, gentle, focused green eyes. Even from this distance, her benign disposition washed them both in a warm, comfortable sense of ease — the kind that Spring was known for. It was almost as if she herself was the season incarnate.

      One by one, the goddess continued plucking fruits lazily from the branches and dropping them into a basket at her feet.

     Hermes adjusted his spectacles, just barely catching an eager Hades by the neck of his chiton with the arc of his caduceus.

     “Whoa, whoa— cool it, Ace. That one’s off limits.”

     Hades tossed his hands down at his sides in frustration and rolled his eyes.

     “What’s the big deal? Geez, it’s like you topsiders are committed to keeping me from having a love life, like honestly.”

     The messenger deity wafted around Hades with ease, tossing a thumb over his shoulder toward the mystery goddess.

     “You know who that is, don’t you? That’s Demeter’s kid, man. Hustling her is a huge no-no.”

     “Hustle? Please — who said anything about hustling? I’m just trying to get the gal’s name.”

     Hermes tilted his little purple spectacles down with a skeptical look. The Lord of the Underworld ignored him.

     “So, you know her?” Hades had an all-too-familiar and unsettling gleam in his eye. The Lord of the Dead threw an arm around Hermes’s shoulders and offered him an impish grin.

     “What’s her name, huh? Hermes, babe —throw a death god a bone, will ya?”

     Hermes looked about ready to protest when all the bells went off in his head at once. Ding! Ding! Ding! —  maybe he was onto something here.

      With Hades distracted — and happy —chasing a wife around like a love-struck puppy dog, he and the rest of the Olympians could take a load off. No more half-baked schemes or hostile takeover attempts. No more pointless intrusions or aggressive come-ons. And most importantly, Hermes wouldn’t have to take time out of his already overbooked schedule to babysit. They’d be sitting pretty for the rest of eternity. It was perfect.

      At the poor gal’s expense, He thought only slightly ruefully. Or not, maybe by some miracle she’ll actually like him.

     They’ll work it out, a desperate Hermes concluded mentally, waving his hand in the air, trying to ease his slightly guilty conscience.

     “What are you asking me for? You should ask her yourself, you know— the old-fashioned way.” The messenger god shrugged nonchalantly with a smile teetering on sly, tapping his caduceus in his open palm.

     Hades fluffed out his chiton and smoothed back his smoldering coiffure.

     “Sit tight, flyboy, and watch the master at work—”

     Now, it would have been difficult to miss Hades’s broad physique looming above her like a black cloud, blocking her strip of sun, but if she knew he was standing there beside the trunk she didn’t acknowledge him. The beautiful mystery goddess simply continued to pick tiny golden fruits off the tree and drop them into her already overfilled basket.

     Hades cleared his throat after a few moments, and she looked up at him only briefly.

     “Look— harvest complaints are Demeter’s department.” She said, a pinch sourly, “I just work here.”

     “If you have a problem with this year’s crop, take it up with her.”

     Hades blinked.

     “Seriously? That’s what you think I’m doing?”

     She eyed him for a moment. He waited for her to show some sign of recognition, but the goddess didn’t even flinch. Hades gestured toward her with outstretched hands.

     “No offense, but your Ma was the last thing on my mind when I saw you standing over here— I mean, c’mon, really? Pretty little thing like you, all by yourself? I’da been a fool to pass up the opportunity to introduce myself.”

     He thrust out his long skeletal fingers in greeting as if to shake her hand.

     “Hey, how ya doin’? Hades, Lord of the Dead, Reaper of Souls, yada yada. You get it.”

     She chuckled softly and swept bronze curls over her shoulder, her tenor lightening some. She manifested another perfectly ripe apricot on a low hanging branch.

     “Oh, I’m familiar.”

     Hades pursed his lips and steepled his fingers with a smirk.

     “I see my reputation precedes me— what am I, some kinda celebrity up there on the roof of the world?”

     “More like a felon,” She retorted with a dry smile, turning back to her work. Charmed by her repartee, Hades appeared on the other side of the tree and leaned forward onto the trunk.

     “That’s cute— you’re cute— Well, you know, beggars can’t be choosers I guess but, hey— I saw you standing over here, all by your lonesome and thought you could use some company. What’s your name, chickadee?”

     The mystery goddess popped out a hip and rooted her palm to it. Hermes watched Hades’s desperate flirtations, amused, and slightly hopeful, from a safe distance. He’d half expected the almost entirely anti-social Persephone to brush Hades off immediately and was pleasantly surprised that—somehow— the God of the Dead had held his ground.

     Hermes crossed his fingers behind his back. Home stretch— here’s hoping he doesn’t blow it.

     “Take a wild guess.” She replied. Hades’s reputation for hitting on nearly every unattended goddess in the Pantheon wasn’t lost on her, but she was bored, and this beat the hours she’d otherwise be spending listening to her mother wax poetic over a tablet of annual crop output.

     He rubbed his hands together and grinned.

     “Oh, Ho Ho— you’re not going to make this easy on me, are you? Let’s see, let’s see…”

     The Lord of the Underworld slumped coolly against the trunk, scratching his chin thoughtfully. He studied her with a bold and scrupulous eye. Hades wasn’t one to back off in the face of a challenge, and for someone who lacked patience in pretty much every capacity, he had a knack for getting himself mixed up in long-term plots.

     “Judging by your accoutre— very lovely, by the way, really brings out the green in your eyes— you’re some… kinda… nature goddess, am I right?”

     “You’re getting warmer.” She tapped the tip of her nose, tickled.

     “Something springy— like uh, Juniper? Nah. Jennifer maybe? Josephine, Jacqueline?”

     The goddess rolled her eyes, and he could tell he was beginning to get under her skin, “What were you the god of again? Annoying people to death? You aren’t even going alphabetically.”

      “What can I say? I like to start in the middle and work my way out,”

     Hades walked two fingers up the ridge of her shoulder where she swatted them away casually with the back of her hand. Unbothered by her annoyance, Hades smirked. Sensing he was finally starting to wear her down, the death god dug his heels in and leaned closer to her.

     “You know what, I think I’ve got it— Jane right? Maybe it’s Julia? Johanna? Listen babe, I can do this all day.”

     “That’s it—you’re impossible.” She threw up her hands with an airy, exasperated sigh and bent to gather her spoils.

     Hades chuckled, reached around her and stole one of her apricots. The goddess lifted a brow and pursed her lips.

     “You know babe, I’m pretty sure this is the longest any goddess has tolerated me, like ever, I’m starting to think I’m growing on you...” He wiggled his brows at his own pun, rolling the fruit back and forth in his palm as it shriveled into a wrinkly, indistinct lump, decaying nearly instantly at his touch. She let out an exaggerated groan of disapproval.

     “Unbelievable. He makes jokes now.”

     Hades wiped his hands clean on his chiton of the rotted apricot juice and gave a defensive shrug, gesturing animatedly at her person.

     “What? That was some of my best material. C’mon, seriously, Petals— can I call you Petals? — what’s a guy gotta do to get a girl’s name huh? You want me to dance a jig? I’ll do it, don’t tempt me,”

     The goddess set her closed fists on her waist and sighed wearily.

     “You really aren’t going to leave me alone until I tell you, huh?”

     Hades examined his fingernails and gave her an obstinate shake of his head.

     “Persephone,” she said finally, extending out her hand to him. “Goddess of Spring.”

     Hades’s face lit up with a smug look of satisfaction. Using her outstretched hand as leverage, he pulled her in just close enough that she could feel his breath on her face.

     “Charmed,” He hummed, pressing a loud kiss to the back of her hand.

     “So, Persy—"

     “Persephone—"

     “Yeah, yeah— right, right— Persy,”

      Before Hades could finish his thought, Persephone carefully pulled her hand away from him with a pleasantly bemused smile. Stepping backward, she bumped the heel of her sandal against her basket of apricots.

     “Sorry— Hades, this has been fun, but I know for a fact I’m not supposed to be talking to you and I’m sure you don’t want to get caught wandering around up here, so….” Persephone tossed her hand up in a parting gesture before collecting her fruit basket and leaning it expertly against her hip. Judging he had maybe a matter of seconds before she left and never came back, Hades lifted his hands haltingly.

     “Yeah— and if you know anything about me, then I’m sure you know I don’t follow the rules very well.” He insisted, following closely beside her.

     Persephone quirked a brow.

     “Hold on— listen, listen,”

     Hades floated around her silently like an early morning fog rolling off the Aegean. It might have bothered Persephone how quiet and quick he moved had she not already seen him do it once before. He plucked a freshly opened apricot blossom off the branch closest to them and delicately pinned back her hair with it.

     “You’re alone— I’m alone, what say we be alone together, huh?” He clasped his fingers together, “You look like you could use a break, and I could use some feminine company,”

     He expected immediate rejection. Every moment she spent not turning her nose up at him was, in his mind, a tiny victory. He figured it was now or never — cast in his line and see what he caught.

      “You mean, like a date?”

     “Yes! Exactly like a date, you read my mind,”

     She seemed to consider his request. Which to him was a good sign. Hades felt a long-buried part of himself begin to feel hopeful. What were the odds he might find himself so close to success? About as unlikely as you’d think.

     “As tempting as that sounds, we just met and—" Persephone smiled, delicately unpinning the blossom and placing it in his open palm, “I’m on duty,”

     “Semantics. C’mon, the world’s not gonna end if you play hookie for a day. What are you, miss-goodie-two-sandals or somethin’? Don’t you ever cut loose?” Hades crossed his index finger over his heart, “I promise I’m a better time than I look—"

     When she still didn’t seem convinced, Hades began to feel defeated. Across the field, the messenger god hovered.

     That’s my cue.

     Hermes appeared beside Hades before he could protest further and whispered behind his hand into the Lord of the Underworld’s ear,

     “Tell her you’ll bring your dog— chicks dig dogs, works like a charm.”

     Hermes grinned at the shrewd Persephone innocently. Hades straightened out the clasp on his chiton, cleared his throat and folded his hands once again.

     “Listen— I’ll bring my dog.”

     “Cerberus—?”

     Hades nodded. Her eyes glittered.

     Eagerly, and with considerably less hesitation than either visiting deity expected, Persephone yanked forward on Hades’s sleeve and blurted out an excited,

     “Deal!”

[notherpuppet]

Someone on twitter suggested these fits for these two 😍

[heheartistuwu]

Some deer claiming his mate