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The Chains They Placed

Part 1 of The Unbreaking Series Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence Category: F/M Fandoms: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age II Relationship: Cullen Rutherford/Female Surana Characters: Cullen Rutherford, Dragon Age: Inquisition Ensemble, Lavellan Clan (Dragon Age), Non-Inquisitor MC, Female Lavellan (Dragon Age), Female Surana (Dragon Age), Female Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Rylen (Dragon Age), Bethany Hawke, Minave (Dragon Age), Original Characters Additional Tags: Implied Sexual Content, Lyrium Withdrawal, Lyrium Addiction, Romance, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Canon-Typical Behavior, Sided with Mages & Templars, Dreamers (Dragon Age), Fade Spirits, The Fade (Dragon Age), Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Fix-It of Sorts, Andrastians, Dalish Elven Culture & Customs (Dragon Age), Cullen Rutherford Has Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Cullen Rutherford has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Fluff, Slow Burn, Canon Compliant - Some Divergence, Attempting to Fix Cullen Rutherford’s Redemption Arc

Chapter 30: The Contact

Chapter 29 | Chapter 31 | AO3

MEIRA

We ate in silence as we waited for the agents to return. The food was delicious. A slow-cooked duck paired with roasted potatoes and vegetables, an onion soup with deep flavors, fresh bread, a complimentary wine and a cream of some sort for dessert. Ellana praised the food and said she'd never had anything so wonderful. Both she and I were amazed by the dessert: sweet and light, but topped with crunch sugar. It was both sweet and savory in taste as it melted on my tongue. Leliana chuckled at our childlike reactions and said she was glad she didn't keep all the dessert for herself.

“First Enchanter Vivienne is covering all our expenses,” Leliana explained when I asked how we could afford the food. “She seems determined to secure a spot within the Inquisition.”

“Is that good or bad?” I asked before washing my face. Leliana had instructed that I be clean of the paint and my hair washed before we headed for her contact. I did both, pulling my damp hair into a pile atop my head.

“It remains to be seen,” Leliana quirked a brow, “but she would be invaluable, if only for her influence and talent as a mage.” I nodded. There was a swift knock on the door before an envelope was slid through the crack at the floor. Leliana quickly picked it up and read the contents. “As I suspected, we are being watched and we were followed. The three clues included a meeting place, key and time,” she explained, “We should be able to get our business done and still make the meeting this evening.”

“Sister Nightingale,” a serious voice spoke from the window, causing Ellana and I to jump.

“Yes, Charter?” Leliana asked the agent that had appeared at the window.

She was an elf with red hair, many freckles and intelligent green eyes. She looked us over quickly before focusing on Leliana. “I suggest you leave this way to avoid the eyes below,” she stated, “to keep the secret.”

Leliana nodded, “Let’s go.” She waved for us to follow after pulling her hood back up, but Ellana and I looked at each other.

“Wait!” Ellana exclaimed, “I-I-“

“Just follow my lead and take it slow,” Leliana instructed. With that, she climbed out the window.

Hesitating for a moment, I followed her out. Leliana glanced at me and led the way up a trellis on the side of the building. We were out of view from the street below and high enough someone would have to be purposefully looking for us to notice our movements. Ellana soon emerged and followed as well. We slowly climbed until we reached the uppermost level of the city. Leliana stood waiting as we rolled over the short wall at the top. Charter was nowhere to be seen.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Leliana asked, sarcastically, lips pulled into a smirk.

“I am terrified of heights!” Ellana bit out.

“Come on,” Leliana dismissed, “we shouldn’t stay in the open for long.” She turned and headed along the walkway. It was much quieter up here and the people kept to themselves. We stopped outside the door of a shop I would have missed if Leliana hadn’t found it. She opened the door, to find the inside eerily dark. I took a deep breath of the fresh air before walking inside. The door snapped shut behind Ellana and with it the shop illuminated.

“Magpie?” Leliana called.

“Nightingale, is that you?” a gentle voice asked. The voice familiar, calling forth memories from Kinloch Hold.

“It is, were you expecting someone else?”

“Of course not, just being thorough,” the voice drew nearer.

I blinked a few times. She looked the same as I remembered her, though a little older. Her long, wavy hair that buttery blond; her coffee-colored eyes wreathed in dark lashes. Full lips were parted in a wide smile, flashing her white teeth. She wore a long-sleeved linen tucked into wool pants with legs wide enough to look like a skirt when she stood still. On her feet were slippers bedecked in shimmering crystals. Her dark eyes locked on me and her smile faltered. Eyes welling with tears before she ran to fling her arms around me.

“Neria!” she shouted, “It’s so good to see you! How have you been?”

I hugged her, her vanilla and cinnamon scent causing the memories to surface and quickly flash through my mind. Solana Amell, my closest friend besides Cullen in the tower stood before me. She, Jowan and I had been inseparable. Solana and I first to become friends when we were children and then Jowan joining us once he’d come to the tower. Solana and Cullen never got along and after she'd left with Wynne and a small group to assist the Hero of Ferelden after Uldred's revolt, I'd never seen her again.

“Talitha is her alias,” Leliana corrected, “You’ll have to catch up later. We have a complication and are on a tight schedule.”

Solana sent daggers at Leliana as we parted, but sighed. “Fine, but I expect to be fully updated.”

“As do I, Solana. How do you know Leliana?” I asked Solana.

She gave me a wink as she led us through her shop. It was beautiful and looked like an ordinary boutique to the untrained eye. Books, trinkets, jewelry, delicate plants in pots, even some furniture pieces here and there, but hidden under the ruse were black market items. Nothing inherently dangerous as Solana was devout and valued rules, but still items that templars would disapprove of being outside a Circle. “We met during the Fifth Blight, she and the Hero helped me escape. I believe my phylactery was destroyed during Uldred's revolt, but I didn’t stop running until I got to Val Royeaux. Though, I did make a short stop in Kirkwall. Thank the Maker for magic as without it, I probably would have been slaughtered by Darkspawn. A few years after the Blight ended, Leliana found me due to my...skills.”

“So, you’ve been living as an apostate?” I asked.

“Well, technically, we’re all apostates now, right?”

“Fair enough,” I agreed, but felt she had avoided the question.

“Will you be able to help?” Leliana interrupted.

“Yes, I have everything you requested,” Solana assured.

We reached the back of the shop. Solana raised a hand and touched the wall, magic glowing in her palm causing the stucco to fall away. Where the wall had been was now another section of the shop, but here Solana did not hide what she was selling. She had wigs, clothing, makeup—a full array for someone to disguise themselves. I would’ve even believed they were ordinary, except for the faint metallic smell of magic. Solana was somehow enchanting the items, but to do what, I was uncertain.

“What is all this?” I asked.

“I was not the only apostate trying to live peacefully prior to the war. It sort of evolved into its own thing, but I helped others become new people so they could start over,” she began, "The Mage Underground. It began in Kirkwall with the influx of Fereldan refugees. I helped before moving on. It started out as simply providing shelter and food to apostates that were not a danger, but it evolved into more and quickly spread over all of Southern Thedas. I moved here not only to avoid capture, but in order to be in charge of who I helped. If they can make it to me, they disappear."

“But you had been against my helping Jowan?” I questioned, recalling the vehemence with which she warned me not to get involved, even when Irving requested that I help.

“Jowan was a fool and then was revealed to be a blood mage,” Solana snorted, “Here I am very selective of who I assist. Just because I fiercely believe in the Maker and Andraste, does not mean I believe that magic serving man means mages locked up in towers for all their lives.”

“I agree, Solana, I’m just trying to understand,” I murmured.

Solana looked at me apologetically, “I’m sorry to snap at you. I also ask that you do not misunderstand me; I did and want to protect vulnerable mages, but I would never have resorted to blowing up a Chantry.” She turned to us and spread her arms wide, “Now, let’s get to business, shall we?” She summoned three chairs into the room and gestured for us all to sit. “So, Leliana has informed me that she's brought you up to date on her plan,” Solana began as she looked at me, “Let me show you your new identity first. It might be a little shocking, as we're going to make you look quite different.” She flicked her wrist, causing several items to glide over to her: numerous boxes, clay jars and brushes.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Solana opened one of the boxes and pulled out a white-blonde wig. “For starters, a stark contrast in your hair color,” Solana explained.

“Won’t that just draw attention?” I asked Leliana, “Isn’t that the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve?”

“In this case, the more overt the disguise is, the more covert you will be. People will be too distracted by our misdirection, they won’t notice what lies beneath,” Leliana assured.

I nodded and lowered my hood. Horror crossed Solana's face as her eyes found the Tranquil brand on my forehead. "You-You're—"

"—No longer Tranquil, Solana," I cut in, "It’s a long story, but I will explain later. For now, let's focus on our task."

Solana cleared her throat before she nodded, but I could tell she was barely holding back the questions she wanted to ask. She combed my natural hair before twisting small sections of it and pinning them flat against my head. Then she fitted the wig into place, but instead of the expected discomfort, I didn’t even realize I was wearing it. She then fluffed the hair and let it fall in thick waves down my back. “These wigs of mine are special,” she explained, “Enchanted so only the wearer is able to remove them. Also, they will feel like your natural hair.” She turned to the small clay jars, dipped a small brush into one and applied the contents all over my face. “It’s the same with my makeups,” she said as she finished, “Nothing can remove them except the wearer, but they have the added bonus of blurring the skin to disguise any blemishes, scars, birthmarks, tattoos or brands.” She blended the base liquid into my face before lining my eyes with kohl and dabbing some rouge on my cheeks and lips. "The benefit of having a few Tranquil friends who are brilliant when it comes to enchanting." When she was finished, she prompted me to stand and follow her behind a screen, the boxes floating behind. She opened one and showed me the contents: it was new armor.

I frowned, “I don’t want new armor. Cullen designed these for me.” I gestured to what I was wearing.

“Not to worry,” Leliana spoke up from her chair, “I got his input on these as well.” That made me feel a little better as I started pulling the items out of the box. It was heavier duty. Still light so I could move around, but far more protection.

“Wait, wait,” Solana pulled the box away slightly, “Cullen who?”

I looked up at her. Her eyes were simmering with rage. “Cullen Rutherford,” I murmured.

If looks could kill...Cullen would have dropped dead in Haven. “You can’t be serious!” she roared, “Leliana, why didn’t you tell me he was involved?” Solana practically shouted.

“Because I knew you’d react this way and maybe even refuse to help,” Leliana replied.

Solana threw the box at me and rounded the screen. She put her hands on her hips and glared at Leliana. Leliana sat, her body relaxed, but her eyes calculating. “For Andraste’s sake, Leliana,” Solana growled, “Do you even know who you’re working with? He's the reason the Mage Underground was destroyed in Kirkwall and nearly collapsed everywhere else!”

“Who do you think I’m working with?”

“A mage hater. A monster. A cruel, blind, prejudiced, vengeful—“

“—That's enough,” Leliana spoke, her voice calm, but deadly as she raised a hand. Solana’s mouth hung open, but she didn’t continue. “I know what he has done, what he has said," Leliana continued, "He has expressed his regret over them. I believe he, and all peoples, are worthy of a second chance. Would you not agree?”

Solana closed her mouth, but opened it again, “Does she know?" Solana nodded her head towards me, "All he has done and said?”

“I believe Cullen has the right to tell her in his own time,” Leliana replied.

“I don’t," Solana scoffed, "Tale of the Champion is available for all to read. In fact, I have a copy she can borrow.”

“Varric Tethras is an exaggerated storyteller, prone to lies.” Leliana's gaze hardened.

“Well, she can read it and talk to Cullen. If it's lies, he can say so himself.”

Leliana waved a hand dismissively. Solana came back to me and helped me dress in the armor. She paused when she saw the scars on my body as I stripped to my underthings, her warm eyes flicking up to me. I shook my head. I would not talk about it with her yet. She kept looking at me for a moment and then returned to putting the armor on. It was much the same as what Cullen originally designed, but a metal breastplate, pauldrons and bracers instead of leather. The leather had been dyed black. Once finished, I stepped out from behind the screen.

“May I introduce, Talitha?” Leliana spoke, “Leader of the Mage Battalion.” I didn’t think I had heard her correctly.

“What?” Solana and I asked in unison.

Her lips twitched as if she’d smile, “Commander Cullen has requested that a battalion of mages be created and then inserted into the growing army—upon the mages joining the Inquisition, that is. He specifically requested that you be their leader. You would work with him in this endeavor; you would be his left hand, so to speak, much like Rylen is his right."

“We are talking about the same Cullen Rutherford? Awkward templar that used to be stationed at Kinloch Hold? Then turned bigoted Knight-Captain in Kirkwall? Has hair as curly as cooked Antivan noodles?” Solana asked, the look on her face was priceless.

“Yes,” Leliana replied, simply.

“I have to see this for myself," Solana laughed, but there was a glint in her eyes, "I want to join the Inquisition.”

“I was hoping you would,” Leliana nodded. “You’ll return with us.”

“What exactly does this battalion look like in the mind of the advisors?” I asked.

“Exactly what it sounds like,” Leliana shrugged. “Mages who desire to fight with the army and are up to the task, will be trained by you and the Commander. You will lead and teach them to summon magical weapons; he will teach them how to use them and lead the army as a whole.”

“What about when I’m needed to fulfill my other duty?”

“Either the Herald will step in as Talitha or your second will take over your duties.”

“Who will be my second?” I quirked a brow.

“We can decide upon our return,” Leliana stated, "Though, my suggestions would be either Solana or Bethany from our current choices."

“If I chose Bethany, who would take over her duties? What would be my second's duties?”

“That was what I came here to ask Solana about,” she looked pointedly at Solana, "As you are a very talented healer along with your many other useful talents. We will have you join under the guise of a healer, but we will use your more...cunning skills secretively."

“Of course,” she sighed, “though this battalion sounds awfully interesting.”

“We need someone we trust to care for our injured, and for now that is either our current healer or you. Perhaps in time we can find others to replace you both if the battalion is more to your liking,” Leliana offered, "As for your second's duties, they will help you delegate and act as an assistant; but again we can figure out the logistics when the time comes. There's never been a strictly mage battalion, so this is new territory for everyone."

“Can we see what you’ve chosen to make her look like me?” Ellana interjected.

“Ah yes, sorry,” Solana apologized, “We have gotten distracted.”

She pulled me back behind the screen and removed the armor. She had me remove the makeup and wig as well after proving that she could not remove them. Solana gestured for me to step forward into a pool of fabric. It was a shirt dress of off-white silk with long sleeves. The sleeves were open at the shoulders and voluminous to the wrists; the front ended at my hips before splitting to fall in a skirt to the floor behind me. Solana pulled leather gloves up to my elbows and laced interwoven leather bracers over top. We came out from behind the screen.

“Obviously, this is not true armor, but more...casual wear for when the Herald is seeing to business at our headquarters or attending to nobles and social gatherings," Leliana explained, "You both are to always wear gloves. It will hide you, Herald, when we want you hidden and will act as a cover for you, Talitha, when you are taking the Herald's place,” Leliana instructed. “You are sure gloves do not hamper the Mark?” she asked Ellana.

“The gloves I’ve worn haven’t thus far,” she responded.

"And you're sure you can make a convincing replica of the Mark's light with your magic?" Leliana asked me.

I showed them and Ellana caused the Mark to spark to life. It wasn't exact, but they were similar enough that from a distance and to those unfamiliar with the magic, it would be difficult to discern the real Mark from the fake. Leliana seemed satisfied and had Solana continue. For my legs, Solana had me pull on tight leather leggings that looped under my feet before lacing matching leather greaves up to my thighs. I slipped a long vest on, made of lambswool and trimmed in gold thread. She laced a braided leather belt at my waist before tucking a velvet banner stamped with the Inquisition’s emblem that fell to my thighs into the belt. On my shoulders she placed bronze pauldrons which tied at my upper back along with a woven leather collar at my neck. Painstakingly, Solana applied makeup and painted Ellana’s vallaslin on my face, glancing now and then at Ellana for reference. She then placed a wig of twisted locks like Ellana’s on my head. Solana made a few adjustments and adorned the wig with gold to match Ellana's hair.

“Harritt truly does do excellent work,” Leliana mused appreciatively as she looked me over. She was circling me, a hand on her chin. “Now you look like a Herald.”

Ellana looked me over and nodded in approval, “It gives a nod to my heritage while still displaying the Inquisition.”

Leliana had us stand side by side and looked at our faces. “Excellent work to you as well, Solana,” Leliana dipped her chin, “I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart for the clothes.”

“Was there any doubt?” Solana quirked a brow.

“No, but it still amazes me every time,” Leliana smirked.

“Who will be the Herald for the salon?” Solana asked.

Leliana turned to Ellana, “What do you think?”

Ellana looked at me, “I am not very well acquainted with the etiquette and customs of the affluent. M-Talitha would be better suited and it’d be a good dry run to see if we can actually pull this off.”

“True, but the real test will be when you’re in front of people who’ve already met you,” Leliana warned.

“That is true too,” Ellana admitted, worrying on her lip, “Perhaps M-Talitha should be me for a few weeks and I will be Talitha until I am back out in the field? What do you think?”

“Best way to practice is to just jump right in,” I offered. “What about when the clan arrives?”

Ellana frowned, “I didn’t think about that. If ‘Talitha’ is to be the leader of the Mage Battalion, should she be another advisor or something? That way one of us is able to be present with the other often and it wouldn’t seem odd?”

Leliana stood—a smug smile on her lips—gesturing to another set of boxes. "This next."

Solana gestured for me to go behind the screen again. She helped me remove the Herald's outfit down to my bindings and small clothes. Unpacking the contents of the various boxes, Solana first helped me pull on a simple underdress that was made of silk. Then she had me stick my arms into the straps of a corset, before she laced it into place below my breasts—bringing great relief to my back from their heaviness. Bindings helped, but not as much as a corset. Solana spread an overdress open for me to lean into before she pulled it down over my head. The fabric was sage colored velvet and decently warm as she pulled it into place. The neck and wrists of the gown were tight as Solana buttoned them close. The neck came to my jawline, and the sleeves were voluminous, but the bodice and skirt clung to my figure. I stepped into a formfitting, cream-colored outer dress, which was sleeveless with leather straps at the shoulders. Solana laced up the the back of the outer dress before having me step into a leather contraption. She slung it over my hips and adjusted it until a medallion with the Inquisition's symbol sat center. She looked me over and made a few minor adjustments until she was satisfied. She had me remove the Herald's wig and clean my face again, before she reapplied the wig and makeup for Talitha's persona. She pulled the hair into an updo, pulling small pieces down in front of my ears.

"This isn't normally what I aim for, but it is a little fun," Solana smiled once she finished, pushing me in front of the screen. "Usually, I'm trying to hide mages, not make them." I glanced down at the outfit and realized I was wearing mage robes. They were similar to Circle robes, but different enough to make a statement.

"May I introduce the Mage Ambassador of the Inquisition," Leliana smirked.

Solana made a noise of shock. "Mage Ambassador? What is that going to entail?"

"It's a contingency plan," Leliana answered, vaguely. "The finer details will come once the mages and templars join the Inquisition. We will have an ambassador for the templars as well. Josephine would be stretched too thin trying to see to both parties needs on her own."

"That's not an answer, Leliana," Solana pouted.

"That's all you're going to get from me for now," Leliana crossed her arms.

“Leader of the Mage Battalion and the Mage Ambassador? Will it not seem odd that 'Talitha' is given both of these important roles after coming out of nowhere?" I asked.

“We won’t announce the battalion or the ambassador for some time, but we will insert ‘Talitha’ among the recruits when we return," Leliana explained. "The Commander presented the idea of the battalion almost immediately upon his return from The Crossroads to Josephine and I. We readily agreed. He asked for you to be the leader after seeing your magic manifest the way it did and your diligence to the Inquisition's cause. “It also undoubtedly stems from his trust in you, as I do not think he would place this role into the hands of anyone else. The possible need for an ambassador for the mages, admittedly, did not cross my mind until he brought the idea of the battalion to our attention. I would rather trust these roles to people in house, so to speak, when we can. I would not trust such prominent roles to a mage that willingly submitted themselves to servitude nor a templar that has abandoned their duties. “It made perfect sense to us to trust you with both of these responsibilities on the mages' behalf. They will provide the perfect cover for when you need to step into your other role—we can send the battalion off on duties or send the ambassador and a few guardians wherever she's needed,” Leliana finished.

“This is going to get complicated fast,” I murmured.

“You will need to write reports for each other to keep abreast of your situations when rotations are needed, but we will discuss logistics further once we know what we will need,” Leliana instructed. “I never said this was going to be easy. You will have the most difficult and consuming jobs of all of us. It is you both, however, that we must keep alive. We will do all we can, but you must be willing to put in the work.”

Leliana must have thought I was whining and I suppose I did sound like it, but it wasn’t my intention. “My apologies, I don’t mean to sound like I’m ungrateful,” I offered, “I'm just uneasy at the idea of all the ways this could go wrong.”

Leliana gave a wry smile, “You sound like Cullen. I understand your positions, but between my and Josephine’s experience as bards, Solana’s excellent skill, and your own intelligences, we will see this succeed.”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Ellana shrugged.

I barked a laugh, “That is true.”

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