DearDiary

It’s 3am and I’m feeling artsy

[raindroprelude72]

Hearts fade as time crumbles

[raindroprelude72]

Sometimes you have to break down to build back up

[raindroprelude72]

The devil’s diary appoints a time for us all

A death note for each and every person in the world

Some people are ready in time for their appointment

Yet others try to cut the line and get ahead or cheat

Some people never want their moment to arrive

Everyone has their own moment in the limelight

[raindroprelude72]

The toll of death is a steep price to pay for all

For those yearning to find closure

For those awaiting a reunion on the other side

A twisting, tearing pain that takes over lives forever

In the blink of an eye people come and people go

Which side do you want to be on?

[raindroprelude72]

How can I look at you with everything you say

What do you mean to me? Why do you run from me?

We see the birds as they fly high, up, up, up in the sky, playing their part as Mother Nature intended

Twisting turning twirling round among the twilight skies

Look at you down below stuck on devil’s earth

Yearning for the day that you will play but it never seems to come

You can’t believe why you’d be doomed to last while everyone else falls straight past

But you’re bound forever

We watch as the birds fly by, going home together

They rise and fall as days go by, with only their love for one another to keep them alive

But you’re stuck forever

The birds will drop out of the sky but I’ll be here

We’ll be here, awaiting our forever, the one that is yet to come. Together

[raindroprelude72]

I wonder if you question

What it’s like to be me

I wonder if you question

What I imagine it’s like to be you

Would you ever trade your life for mine?

swap souls for a test drive

A flight of fancy

[raindroprelude72]

I can’t do what I’m meant to,

I can’t grow like I’m meant to,

I can’t turn into who I’m meant to be.

Especially not with you around:

I need to be on my own now, independent

To be away from you

I need to be free to grow, mature

To live my life

Don’t make me do this,

Not to me, you or us.

We don’t belong, not together.

But I can’t seem to leave you behind.

I’m stuck in this never ending circle,

A sort of purgatory.

I can’t decide if it’s worth it. What is?

Love? Life? Anything? You?

Me

[raindroprelude72]

I can’t give you love

I can’t give you what you so desperately crave

I can’t give you a life with no love to sustain you

I can’t give you more than what I have to offer

I can’t give you what you want yet I can’t let you go

I can’t

I’m sorry

[raindroprelude72]

I wish the world would just stop turning

I’m spinning and my life is fragmenting

Ejecting reality and smashing it into tiny pieces

If the world stopped turning I’d stop spinning

My life would finally make sense, it would fit together

No more fantasy, only the bleak realisation of reality

[raindroprelude72]

Love can’t hold your tears anymore

[raindroprelude72]

You give and you take, you receive and you reciprocate

But is it worth it?

After all the time and effort you put in

Does it feel worth it?

Can you feel it?

Is it satisfying, comforting and life-altering or is it belittling, smothering and soul-crushing?

After what you’ve done, after what you’ve become,

How did you think it would end?

Happily, with tears streaming down your face?

Why would it?

Nothing ever does and nothing ever will.

[raindroprelude72]

My heart leaks until it’s an empty vessel

Desecrating itself in a feeble attempt to reclaim any dignity.

Trying to withstand the loss, blame and most of all scrutiny.

[raindroprelude72]

The mind of an adolescent, prepubescent.

Basking alone in all its glory.

Indecisive, enveloped in a fantasy world where all the pain is gone and only love remains.

If only that were true.

Desperate to feel that fictitious place they try and fail to find a way.

A way to break free from their cruel world.

A way out, a way to escape.

The easy way out

[raindroprelude72]

Gluttony and greed rule the day

As do the men who impose their way

The roof of glass holds steadfast

Despite the women breaking past

[raindroprelude72]

Woeful is the mind without its source of sanity

Vulnerable to pillagers who seek to infiltrate with their nefarious intentions

Corruption within oneself is the most fickle fear to feel

[raindroprelude72]

The plight of a woman

The cruelty of a double edged sword

[raindroprelude72]

Everyone stands by to watch the world turn sour