Emo Kid Tries Too Hard

username is a Jared Dines reference • posts NSFW sometimes • >21

[parkchanwoohoo]

Traumacore edit of me at my white collar cubicle job with health insurance as though I have a goddamn thing to complain about in this stupid world

[parkchanwoohoo]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I don't actually know what traumacore looks like or what that means

[nullpointr]

soulmates but not in a soft romantic way soulmates in a destined to change each other for better or for worse, cannot be who they are without each other, unstoppable together but they’re also the only ones who can defeat each other, equals, existences undeniably tied to each other way

[what-even-is-thiss]

Health classes really ought to teach people what the beginning stages of addiction are like because a lot of people don’t realize they’re addicted to something until they’re years deep into it.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Signs you might be getting addicted to something:

If you go without it you feel unwell in a way that you never usually feel unwell. Sweating, tired, sleepy, headaches, irritable, depressed, etc. For example when I was in opium withdrawal I got incredibly depressed in a way that I’ve never been before or since. When you quit caffeine you might get super bad headaches even if you never usually get any headaches.

Thoughts of it regularly bother you and the thoughts go away once you’ve taken it but only temporarily. Unlike with a food craving which usually stays away once you’ve satisfied it or distracted yourself from it.

You find yourself rationalizing with yourself why you should break your own rules about how much you can take and how often. For example you might only let yourself drink alcohol every four days but start thinking that three days is actually close enough to four days, right? Especially if this happens regularly.

You’re using it so often that you feel the need to lie about how much you use because other people might think it’s concerning

If the substance or activity is nearby it’s genuinely difficult to not consume it or participate in it in a way that’s really frustrating.

You feel bad when you’re not on it and your brain tells you “if you just take the thing you wouldn’t feel this way”

You can only feel “whole” or “normal” when you’re on a substance even though it’s a recreational drug

And if you read this and think you might be addicted to something, don’t panic and don’t feel ashamed. Realizing you’re addicted to something isn’t a failure. It’s more information about your health that you can use to manage your condition, whether you want to get rid of your addiction or not.

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[pangur-and-grim]

it’s funny bc I do believe the Sir Cameron book has a good heart and a very Chunk Tingle ‘love is real’ message, but the spider alien book isssssss just the worst person ever slowly realizing that being kind is nice. after already having done every bad action possible. so maybe less people will be calling this one cozy

[hux-loves-him]

[salvadorbonaparte]

my mum just answered a spam phone call with "catholic horse cemetery how can I help you"

[salvadorbonaparte]

my mum just answered a spam phone call with "catholic horse cemetery how can I help you"

[pukicho]

Guyssss I need to sell my RAMA U80 A keyboard cause I have carpel tunnel so I need to buy a nerd keyboard instead, DM if you are interested. I also have a shit load of key switches, some tactiles and black ink linears or whatever - oh and the board is hot-swappable.

[foone]

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

[foone]

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

[foone]

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

[sleepydogdisease]

oh no, animal ears are feet

[foone]

yeah. cat ears are feet!

[mere-technicality]

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

[foone]

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

[madigail]

the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.

[foone]

the number of people tagging this "calvin & hobbes" and "rule 34" is worrying.

although amusing, if you know where the term "rule 34" came from.

[the-haiku-bot]

although amusing,

if you know where the term “rule

34” came from.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[sqwick]

Eartha Kitt's career is just so iconic because there's no way you don't know her even if you don't know you know her. You like Christmas music ok well she's Santa Baby. You like Disney animated movie ok well she's Yzma. You like Disney Channel original movie ok well she's Madame Zeroni. You like comic book ok well she is Cat Woman. She won.

[dream0holder]

You like making the racist wife of a war mongering president cry on national television? She did that

[amaditalks]

You like laughing at the very idea of needing a man? She's your role model.

[clockworkbuck]

​she was also a very cool activist and its worth looking up everything shes done

Eartha Kitt - Wikipedia

Eartha Kitt - Wikipedia

[kyosukeasatte]

Due to arguments about how to fansub this line, I have determined this should be a nice middle ground.

[tpwrtrmnky]

A really perplexing variation on the "Here's a fun way to play with a convention of this genre" "Isn't this literally just [specific piece of media]" post-response format is when the suggested piece of media doesn't just fall short on the detail level but just straight up isn't what the original post describes even if you're playing fast and loose with interpretation, like you describe something that very clearly requires a world where werewolves exist and in return you get "Isn't this just" with a piece of media that makes a plot point out of how literally no canines exist or have ever existed, let alone people who shapeshift into canines

[hotelconcierge]

The Stanford Marshmallow Prison Experiment

i waited 75 years and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

(trigger warnings: race, intelligence, anorexia, economics, secondary sources)

Keep reading

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[gotouda]

holy shit. this guy on the bus talking to a girl about how he trades stocks. and she goes “have you seen american psycho” and he said no i dont watch movies. im too busy trading

[satelliteduster]