(Bi)alogue

I’m gay and anxious idk what more you want

[otter-byte]

terrible website feature that came to me in a dream

[memeuplift]

[blabla3419]

Y’all I totally forgot this is a real thing red pandas do when they feel threatened

[ruinedchildhood]

[thickness-protection-program]

[realifezompire]

there are many benefits to being a Naval Salior

it used to be pretty common for there to be cats on boats. they'd take care of any rodents who would chew on ropes or wires and spread diseases. sailors were also superstitious and believed that having a cat aboard would bring good luck! this belief passed on to their wives, who kept cats - especially black ones who were believed to be extra lucky - at home in order to keep their husbands safe when at sea.

another popular superstition? that if a cat came aboard it was a sign of luck, but if it only boarded halfway and then left, it was a sign of bad luck.

most ship's cats are only found in modern times on private vessels, but they have roots going back to early history. one such example is the Vikings, who took cats with them on expeditions.

Sources: Ship's Cats, @Manglewood

[silverhawk]

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

[wbicepuppy]

no come back ma’am

[spoookiepie]

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

[transmechanicus]

underwater wife

[jambambles]

Underwater love of my underwater life

[brainsforbabyjesus]

Underwater girlfriend, underwater wife underwater love of my underwater life she creeps in the deep with an underwater knife she’s a smooth-skinned terror causing underwater strife

She’s had underwater strife in her underwater life So I serenade her with my Mariana fife She drags me down to live an underwater life Underwater girlfriend, underwater wife

[secifosseluce]

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

[secifosseluce]

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster 

[secifosseluce]

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

 moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :) 

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this: 

[bargains-by-duckface]

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

[secifosseluce]

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

[moonsterm]

that means the angels are babysitters then

[moonsterm]

here have more

[patricia-von-arundel]

You guys really need to read Christopher Moore’s Lamb, if you haven’t.

[frikinnerd]

Always reblog Cryptid Jesus

[moonsterm]

I made more. cause it’s fun

[crap-copper]

I love that you guys used their actual names

[roane72]

I did not consider Eldritch Baby Jesus.

[lilaccatholic]

God I know you have a sense of humor because otherwise there’s no explanation for the platypus and I hope it extends to comics about baby cryptid Jesus

[throwbackblr]

The father

The son

And the Holy Spirit

[toastbutteregg]

[rustandruin]

I have never wanted something more.

[teamponytail]

[christopher-bryant]

[floopthecooper]

this is worth it for the last reblog alone

[yamad-a]

[buffysummers]

one tree hill ladies appreciation week 2021 ↳ day one: favorite female character → peyton sawyer At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes — all you need is one.

[badassdemonsword]

[corvodumpy]

Oh come on you HAVE to include the footage.

[vote-for-eggman]

???????????????

[random-bialogue]

Is no one gonna talk about them having to specify that he was human???

[hatin]

i wonder if i will still use tumblr in 5 years

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

The (un)funny thing about this (seven year old) post is that seven years ago the internet was such that one could reasonably imagine that in 5 years there would be other, better platforms that would make tumblr sort of outdated and cringy. Now the alternatives to tumblr are Corporations Spying On You, Absolute Hellhole Of Discourse Over Tumblr Screenshots, Corporations Spying On You, Tumblr Posts But In Video Form While Corporations And The Chinese Government Spy On You, That Platform You Signed On After The Titty Ban Spread Mass Panic And You Never Used Since, and reddit

[jiskblr]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

I spent like 15 hours on this.

[fuckingrecipes]

*impressed slow clap*

[brendan-j-harkin-deactivated201]

This was ridiculously pleasing to read out loud. 

[rhube]

This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.

[hecth-ledger]

#the saga continues 

[lokiperfection]

[dunsparce]

life is hard for this dog

[thewolfgodsblog]

how do i explain plato’s allegory of the cave  to a dog