My Twilight and 39 clues sideblog

🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸I'm Demi, 22 and cooler than you. Spasky siblings stan. In this house we remove all Twilight characters from Smeyers grossness.

[eeve06]

Aro: The Cullens are pacifists. Rosalie: Yes. But we're Hales, not Cullens. Jasper: *prepares for violence*

[keepingupwiththecullens]

hey charlie, if emmett and jasper wanted to go fishing with you would you say yes?

[keepingupwiththecullens]

Jasper how often do you want to bite humans

[keepingupwiththecullens]

alice why are you dating that creep jasper he’s weirddddddd

[keepingupwiththecullens]

can I have jasper's opinion on kraft mac & cheese?

[keepingupwiththecullens]

how good are the cullens at chess? according to the movies edward really likes playing chess, so its crucial i know this information

[keepingupwiththecullens]

Peter, now that Jasper drinks animal blood, could you beat him in a fight?

[twilightbutokayer]

The Cullens play cornhole, as requested by someone on Twitter.

Read more Twilight but Okayer! | Twitter

[stormeden]

edward: my number one fear in my house is that someone will lose control and youll get hurt

edward: because of this ive prepped 6 different failsafe courses of action for multiple worst case scenarios

edward: i want my house to be 100% bella-safe

jasper: *starts to flip*

edward, shaking: T hro w

[coldonesthings-blog]

I CAN’T BREATH

[the-golden-onion]

what’s more unsettling - a wolf crying “a tear the size of a baseball” or edward calling jacob “son” ??

the answer is both. smeyer what the actual fuck

[volturialice]

we're just lucky edward didn't eat the baseball tear. those are two of his favorite things

[pathokinessis]

"...my son." SMEYER HAD TO HAVE LOST A BET. Idk why the fuck else she'd have written this line. It feels unhinged for her even. "...my son." THATS BILLY'S BOY.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The meme version of Edward Cullen as a man who is obsessed with snails and moss is infinitely more interesting than the version of him in the actual twilight books.

[what-even-is-thiss]

If Edward Cullen was a man who was obsessed with the small intricacies of the forests of Washington state and enjoyed foraging and taking pictures of snails he would actually be the most unique and interesting vampire character in modern literature but instead he’s an overprotective bitch whose main personality trait is that he hates himself.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Bella would also be way more interesting if she was watching this guy swerve the car over to the side of the road to take a picture of some cool moss and chewing on poisonous herbs like gum because his vampirism makes him immune and going “oh I can’t not fuck him”

[darkvoidtrash]

Where can I see that? Or is it just you hallucinating Edward's?

[what-even-is-thiss]

[the-golden-onion]

bella seducing edward on isle esme in her khaki lingerie

[halfbluemoons]

Twilight AU where Jasper uses his gift to make Bella completely uninterested in any of them, driving Edward to do batshit crazy stuff for her attention. Girl just stares through him and goes to eat a salad with her friends

[alicesstraycat]

The idea that Jasper can manipulate emotions as a long term, ultra powerful thing is hilarious because it also implies he could be the favorite Cullen sibling / son if he wanted. Instead he is regarded as Alice’s stray cat who goes a little feral sometimes but is still allowed on the furniture and that’s exactly how he likes it.

[randomdemi]

Is it just me or is Jacob describing his imprinting on Renesmee like, the most terrifying thing ever? Losing all of his connections- to his friends, his pack, his sister, his father- and being tethered to the Earth only by her? That's horrifying

[ohmovie]

The little dark-haired girl's Alice. She's really weird, and she's with Jasper, the blond one who looks like he's in pain.

ALICE CULLEN & JASPER HALE TWILIGHT│2008

[yummyburger101]

the sexless pervert strikes again

[itsfortheplants]

Edward after successfully dodging Bella’s advances

[idontlikedoublestandards]

Every time the Cullen boys have to go through sex ed, Emmett just stares at Edward and whispers, "Did you know this?" And acts schocked all the way through. After school, when they get home, he pats Regume on the head and goes, "don't be like your parents. Beat teen pregnancy."

Bella has thrown him off a cliff a few times but he still finds it hilarious.