A note to all you lotr/hobbit fanfic writers
1) ELVES DON’T JUST GO AROUND DRINKING FUCKING MIRUVOR LIKE THEY WOULD DRINK WINE.
2) LEGOLAS IS A FUCKING VEGAN SO STOP TALKING ABT HIM EATING MEAT IT WOULD BE AN OFFENSE TO HIS SYSTEM AND BELIEFS
3) LEMBAS BREAD IS NOT USED AS A DANG SIDE WHEN EATING ANY NORMAL MEAL UNLESS THEY’RE TRAVELING
4) LEGOLAS ISN’T A BLABBER.
5) EOWYN STOPPED FIGHTING AFTER SHE MARRIED FARAMIR. SHE WASN’T GOING AROUND ON MISSIONS BC SHE ‘REFUSED TO BE LEFT BEHIND’
6) ARAGORN IS NOT GAY FOR LEGOLAS. VICE VERSA
SAM IS NOT GAY FOR FRODO. VICE VERSA
THE LIST GOES ON
7) PEOPLE DIDN’T GO AROUND WITH MITHRIL IN THEIR HAIR, CLOTHES, ROOMS, BLAH BLAH BLAH. IT WAS EXPENSIVE AND VALUABLE AS HELL AND TRUST ME IT WAS RARE. FRODO IS OUR ONLY EXCEPTION
8) GANDALF DOES NOT SAY ‘FOOL OF A _____’ TO JUST ANYONE. ITS FOR FRICKIN PIPPIN BC HES AN IDIOT NO OFFENCE PIPPIN I LUV YA
9) LEGOLAS’ HAIR ISN’T WHITE BLONDE IT’S GOLDEN DESPITE THE WEIRD CHANGE IN THE HOBBIT
10) WHEN U R WRITING ‘MY FRIEND’ IN ELVISH ITS ‘MELLON NIN’ NOT ‘NIN MELLON’ NOW GET IT THE FRAC RIGHT THEY DON’T HAVE THE SAME FRIGGIN GRAMMAR AS ENGLISH PPL
11) NAME ONE TIME LEGOLAS CALLED ARAGORN ESTEL. ILL WAIT.
12) IM LIKE 99% SURE ARAGORN WOULD’VE STOPPED CALLING ELROND ADA (IF HE EVER DID) AFTER HE FELL IN LOVE WITHT THE DUDES FUCKIN DAUGHTER. THAT MIGHT HAVE POSED AN AWKARD SITUATION NOT TO MENTION ELROND WAS MAD ASF ABT IT
13) CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG BUT IM ALSO 99% SURE TOLKIEN NEVER SAID DWARF WOMEN HAD BEARDS
14) THRANDUIL’S A SHITTY DAD ACCORDING TO THE MOVIE SO FIGHT ME. I IN NO WAY TAKE PJ’S ADAPTION AS CANON THO UNLESS IT COMES FROM THE BOOK OFC SO YEA
15) TAURIEL WAS JUST A STUPID CRUSH. LEGGY GOT OVER HER REAL QUICK TRUST ME, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HAD HIS BUDS GIMLI AND ARAGORN
That wasn’t meant to be a rant per se, or a hate post, but it’s to help u guys. bc it’s true.