Bee Bug

I can't shitpost on Facebook, too many people know me

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Out of pure curiosity: would anyone read a trilogy about a poly couple that overthrows the government so they can live happily ever after?

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Saying goodbye to my best friend like she's my wife going off to war

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Come to the realization that I am Odysseus because I would go on a adventure and get lost and do crazy things just to get back to my family and my boyfriend would have girls tripping over themselves and trying to convince him I ghosted him.

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"You're too young to wear a knee brace!"

And you're too old to drive, but you still got a new car.

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Today's gender is taken from the guy in Treasure Planet. You know the one.

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A lot of times my cart does not reflect the badass that I am... it reflects the chronically ill ass I am.

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My neighbor feeds the stray cats in the neighborhood. There's probably like 10 or 15 that come and go.

But they all just came out from under their porch and stared at me...

Does this mean something?

Am I being hunted?

Is some feline goddess trying to talk to me?

I need answers god damn it!

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I go to the mall for three things:

Hot Topic

Spencers

Coffee

Usually in that order... and most of my time is spent in Hot Topic... yes, they still have Supernatural merch... I'm not obsessed, you are!

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I have a dad!Dean Winchester headcanon

So, imagine if you will, Dean has a daughter and she went on her first date, she was picked up in a car playing something other than classic rock. The next day Dean just can't stop bitching "you could've picked a guy with good music" "why was he even playing that shit?" so on. Until his daughter is just like "actually, I went on a date with a girl" and it only takes Dean 2 seconds before he immediately "Well then fucking tell *her* to get better music"

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Sometimes I hate writing because my brain WILLINGLY USES THE WRONG HOMOPHONES.

"She went out sighed-" no.

"The right on the wall-" no!

"There's two many people-" NO

Because apparently my brain is a prankster unbeknownst to me.

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If the first episode of Supernatural aired this year that means 26-year-old Dean Winchester would be born in 2000.

Genuine question: Would he listen to divorced dad rock or punk rock?

Follow up question: What car would he drive (idk shit about cars) and would he have a crate of CDs like he has a crate of cassettes?

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No gender here. Only Cool Ranch Doritos or Nacho Cheese Doritos.

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Not me explaining time is a construct like "HeR sIsTeR wAs A WITCH, rIgHt?!"

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An assassin falls in love with the most clumsy person you could meet. They're full of sunshine and likes talking to people but they get new bruises all the time. Despite this, the assassin loves them like they are their reason for living.

One night the assassin bring their clumsy significant other to a ball. (Assassin is scoping out a target but Sunshine doesn't know that.) Assassin steps away from their beloved to get drinks and when he turns to watch them, they are missing. Sunshine has been kidnapped.

Assassin works tirelessly to find their Sunshine. Days later, they finally close in and find Sunshine. As they're escaping, people try to stop them (enemies, maybe?). Assassin defends both of them until Sunshine is dragged away. One man has Sunshine captive, but Sunshine does some badass moves to escape. Sunshine says something along the lines of "my spouse is an assassin, you think they haven't taught me self defense?" to a stunned enemy.

Once they make it home, Sunshine is more than happy to patch Assassin up the same way Assassin has done for their clumsy ass time and time again.

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People I like working with:

The girl who wanted to get shots on my first day

Gay Jesus

The boy with dyslexia

The Latina with fire makeup always

The ditzy girl that loves to mess with people

The old man that's powered by soul

The lesbian manager

The mom with little kids and makes sure I eat

The girl that wants her own bakery

People I don't like working with:

That one bitch (he knows what he did)

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My little brother does a lot of closing shift and early shifts the next day. I'm usually nice when I make sure he's awake because there are other people living here. However... when there is not the other people, I am tempted to put my Bluetooth speaker right outside his door, turn it all the way up and blast Heat of the Moment by Asia. Because what kind of sister am I if I don't make sure he's awake for work in the most traumatic way I can think.

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I joke too much about bread being the love of my life to not be asexual.