Not a girl; a universe with skin.

Seph. 23

[ruinedchildhood]

[untitled94191]

Captain Kathryn Janeway

[mysillycomics]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok but we gotta talk more about vintage halloween costumes, we GOTTA

ESPECIALLY the diy ones. back before costumes were mass-manufactured, people were left to their own devices and shit got WILD.

It was an absolute free-for-all. back before you could buy a batman mask in a drug store for $5, people really just did whatever

and it was FABULOUS

bonus points to these early commercialization attempts. yes that is a batman dress

anyway there is a basic human drive to wear weird-ass clothing and we should incorporate this shamelessness into our daily lives. only the most meagre of social laws prevent you from dunking yourself in body glitter and wearing a cape & pointy hat to the grocery story on a regular basis. revise your life accordingly.

[homunculus-argument]

I wish rich people went back to keeping artists as pets. Like when you’re wealthy enough you pick a cool weirdo to do regular commissions for you, and if you really want to flex on your peers, you’ve got several.

 And you visit them every once in a while like “hello, I’ve paid for your rent and your tools, have you worked on that commission giant oil painting of me getting sucked off by my political opponent, who is unfortunately still the mayor of this town, like I requested?”

 And your favourite feral art person looks up - mouth full of gravel and completely surrounded by art-related trash like “no, but I designed a helicopter.”

And you’re like “that’s fucking lit, the mayor doesn’t have a helicopter. Please carry on as you have.”

[andhetakesandhetakesandhetakes]

going for long walks alone is probably the closest thing we have to a cure for the human condition

[lyricalfatigue-deactivated20180]

Dear hearing aid providers: stop only advertising your hearing aids for old people - from a deaf 19 year old who’s used hearing aids since she was 7

[lyricalfatigue-deactivated20180]

Note: you don’t have to use hearing aids, or have any form of hearing loss to be able to reblog this

[ladynorbert]

Deaf people using hearing aids should be as normalized as people with vision loss wearing glasses.

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

did u know: according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria and becomes the haunted house of the cell

[randomish-things]

This should not have made me laugh

[jewishdragon]

As a scientist I can confirm

[yesterdaysprint]

The Fort Wayne Sentinel, Indiana, October 30, 1918

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lastoneout]

Op is denying us the fucking golden replies to this tweet omg

[nightonblogmountain]

When i had breast reduction surgery, i got into the OR and got put on this table that looked like a flat crucifix (arms out so they could get to the girls), and i said ‘god, don’t nail me down’

they put the mask on my face and the nurse said ‘no jesus treatment today’

and the last thing i said to her was ‘jesus with some big ass titties’ and then passed out. 

[serbka-deactivated20211120]

when i had an appendectomy and woke up from anaesthesia i kept yelling at the doctor that i can’t breathe and the doctor was like “you’re literally breathing bro” and i stopped yelling and realized i am, indeed, breathing

[copperplatebeech]

I had a spinal and happy juice for an open abdominal surgery, and while they were waiting for the pathologist to give the all clear I heard the surgeon ask her team if they knew any good jokes, so I told them the one about what Jonah said to the whale (”you wouldn’t shit me, would you”) and sang dirty versions of opera choruses until the anesthesiologist gave me “the hook.”

[sridevi]

my laptop: *starts hissing and wheezing and got her fans whirring on high speed*

me:

[angels-in-overcoats]

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

onald squad

[edenoi]

Brought America to the brink of nuclear war after tensions had long subsided, removed safety regulations, sent federal troops to brutalize protesters, crashed the stock market,

[whitepeopletwitter]

[robotmystic]

dad?

[grawly]

answer his question

[angstyarthoe]

Don’t disappoint him

[sirfrogsworth]

I think Zelda got more of her father’s comedy genes than she realizes. 

[reinerist]