Absolute Trash

24 year old just trying to get by with what life throws at her

[undertaleshitposts]

[thestateonmtv]

living in the suburbs is like mall. Movies. Mall again. Go to target. Go to gamestop. Back to the mall. Barnes and noble. Back to the mall. Chili’s. Back to the mall. Eat hot chip. Lie. And I’m SICK of it!!!!!

[thestateonmtv]

I’m sorry god please forgive me I would give anything to go to Barnes and noble and then dinner at Chili’s with a lava mountain cake please lord take me back I’ll never complain again

[confusinglycarnivorous]

Not a day goes by that I don't think of this post

[bimbogollum]

I’m a little bit obsessed with makeover/dressing scenes where the reveal is an undeniable downgrade from what the character started out with. Top tier comedy

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

[angelinestprim]

This absolute disgrace…

[bisexualprivilege]

[danisontnonfire]

[ginger-ale-official]

ginger ale is just sprite but more spicey :/

oh sure and the sistine chapel is just a room with some paint in it

[jinkies-binx]

yo they got estrogen in yzma’s lab

[betweenbeatriceandbaudelaire]

Greek Mythology by fdasuarez // Support the artist

[wizardpostsdotorg]

i love wizards bc they fucking lie all the time. gandalf was like “a wizard is never late he arrives precisely when he means to” lying ass. he was late as fuck. wizards will just say whatever. it doesn’t even matter when you have a big ass hat

[whetstonefires]

has anyone asked dick van dyke how he feels about becoming the most offensive man in hollywood via linguistic drift

[jewish-tutter]

someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

[rizaoftheowls]

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

[rizaoftheowls]

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

[galaxy-of-great-possibilities]

thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

[above-d-clouds]

A handy table for everyone:

[cityglowing]

Y’all have no idea how happy it makes me to see my goyim followers reblogging this. Really. It means the world to me.

[augustdementhe]

Oh SWEET, a table!

[memewhore]

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

"get home safe" is a spell and i am casting it on all my friends

[cannibalchicken]

[tvdinner1]

[funnytwittertweets]

[switchingtogeico]

[obe]

[itbrennan-deactivated20190203]

[dostoyevsky-official]