pixel skylines
Not today Justin
izzy's playlists!
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art blog(derogatory)
Today's Document
RMH
wallacepolsom
Origami Around
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON
Cosimo Galluzzi
One Nice Bug Per Day
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
KIROKAZE
h
No title available
Claire Keane
Fai_Ryy
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Ukraine
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Japan
seen from Germany
seen from Spain
seen from Azerbaijan
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Malaysia
@recklessrrivas
how did you make your theme? it looks gorgeous!
Thank you! I love it as well! I however am not that talented. Credit goes to a sweetie named Dylan aka mhworth. Im on mobile so I can’t attach a link but there should be a credit somewhere on my profile :)
//
I’m sorry I’ve been so shitty and absent. I have a third job which seemingly takes up a lot of my time. However when I get home from work at around 10 pm EST I will have everything I owe up. If I miss anything please let me know. I apologize again and thank you all for being such understanding sweethearts.
-C x P.S. I have k i k if anyone is interested: nnowyoumusttakeme
“I had a dream about you last night."
“I guess you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me since that night I met your parents, huh?”
Damien Rice – Delicate
Love Sentence Starters (Pt. 1)
“I loved you then and I love you now.”
“Don’t go… please.”
“You mean the world to me.”
“I would literally do anything for you.”
“I just want you to be happy. That’s it.”
“Choose me.”
“Don’t give up on us.“
"Stop acting like you don’t love me. We both know that’s a lie.”
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry. But I’d like an apology anyway.”
“Could you really just walk away from us? Just like that?"
"Why didn’t you say goodbye?”
“I had a dream about you last night."
"Yeah, I admit it. I’m jealous as hell. We both know that he/she wants you.”
“Why can’t this be easy anymore… like it used to be?”
“You’re not the person that I fell in love with.”
“I’m not letting you got that easily.”
“I’ll fight for us. Even if you won’t.”
“Stop lying to yourself and admit that there’s something here.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. You felt it too.”
“I planned something special for our anniversary.”
“I never stopped loving you. There. I said it.”
threads where muses talk about things that confuse them
threads where muses talk about things that have hurt them in the past
threads where muses talk about their deepest fears
threads where muses talk about sexual and romantic orientation and relationships (past and present !!)
threads where muses have deep conversations and are vulnerable with each other !!
Grace waited outside of the door, when it opened she noticed that it was her roommate and couldn’t help but sigh. She hadn’t wanted to rush her but it was a time limit, had she knew that it was her she probably wouldn’t have rushed her. No they hadn’t gotten off to a good start but she wasn’t a bitch either. She could relate, all the new comers seemed to be the same, in denial that they needed to be there, she hand been the same way and liked to think she didn’t need to be there but she did. Grace had learned not to deny it because it was the truth, she needed to be there whenever she was sent there. Before she walked into the shower she noticed the wounds on Zoe’s body, they were fresh and she wondered if that was why she was here or if it was more complicated than that. Once out of sight the blue haired girl entered the stall and shut the door.
As she washed herself her own mind wandered to her roommate and wondered what had happened. It was only natural to wonder when one was in a place like this but Grace wouldn’t be that nosy with Zoe. If she wanted to tell her she could but it did soften the other up a little towards her. Quickly she washed her hair and body then finished and went back to her room, dressed with her hair up in bun to dry. As she expected the girl wasn’t in the room when she came back but Zoe wasn’t there she hoped that she was just tending to her wounds.
Sitting in her bed she pulled out her book and read it again. When the other came back she tried to watch her without letting her know that she was watching her. But it didn’t last long when she noticed her hair hadn’t been brushed. “Hey, want me to brush and braid your hair?” she offered, trying to sound nice and be nicer.
Within a few seconds, the brunette felt a pair of eyes set on her. She could only imagine what Grace was thinking. In her mind, she pictured the girl planning her next attack to make Zoe look like a fool. It took a few seconds for Zoe to process what the other girl was saying, mostly because the words themselves surprised the hell out of her. An hour ago it had seemed like Grace had wanted to throw Zoe off the roof; and now she was offering to help her tend to her matted, unconditioned hair. Zoe was somewhat dazed from the unexpected onset of the medication; and it was only a matter of time before they kicked in completely. Zoe turned to Grace who was sitting across from the bed, her expression was genuine. Zoe searched her face for a moment and it seemed, at least at face value, that Grace was genuinely trying to be nice to her.
Zoe slowly stood up from her bedside, the medication causing her movements to process a lot slower than she would have intended. She sat down on the end of Grace's bedside, being sure to keep at least a couple of feet away from her; though the meds didn't allow for much thought process at all. "Would you? They think my brush is a potential threat to myself and they won't allow conditioner. At least until I get through this first level of treatment." Zoe sighed, barely realizing how much had just spilled out of her mouth. Clearly the benzos were eliminating her verbal filter. "I can't stand my hair looking like this, let alone my skin." Zoe said, running her hands consciously through her medium brown locks. She met eyes with Grace who was sitting at the top of her bed. "Don't you dare cut my hair off while you're brushing it, I know you hate me or whatever." Zoe said before letting an exasperated sigh, ignoring the prominent stinging of her wounds.
❛ can’t control a girl like you : miles & zoë
It was atrocious that he was so nervous about what this coffee “date” meant for these two teens, and Miles felt as if he was walking on egg shells just to make sure that it wouldn’t blow up underneath him and leave them reeling in its wake. Zoë was virtually the only person that didn’t have a vendetta out on him ( or maybe no one else really cared enough to bother with him ), and he didn’t want to go losing the only person that could stand his existence when he had no real reason to. Where his feelings went from, ‘totally okay with being a lab rat’ to ‘I’m hung up on every word you say’ was beyond him — maybe it was something that had happened gradually, or it could’ve hit him like a freight train. That was the biggest struggle Miles had with feelings; he still didn’t understand how they worked fully. “Believe it or not, I don’t just kiss people for the fuck of it— or whoever asks nicely. At least not anymore. I’d like to think I’ve changed at least a little since last summer.” He doesn’t mean to sound bitter or defensive about his point of view, he was just slightly hurt she thought that she meant absolutely nothing to him.
“I know I’m not.” He boasts arrogantly, probably a little too much given his position in the situation— he had absolutely no power, and he was willing to give it all to Zoë for some reason. Iridescent optics land on hers as her sunglasses are removed; her eyes had always been one of her best features in Miles’ eyes, and her smile was in a close second. What she meant by “fresh start” let Miles’ mind wander a bit; probably taking in a way she didn’t intend. Did she mean she wanted a fresh start, or did she want them to have a fresh start? He was hoping for the latter, but it was doubtful. “If she was freaked out, then maybe she’s not the right person.” He says a bit brash, sitting back in his chair. “But you’ll never know unless you talk to her about it, y'know? When Tris and I kissed, he assumed the same thing that you’re doing now. Our situation was a bit different, though.” His words come to a pause as he sighs, “As much as I wish I could convince you to just forget her and hangout with me instead, that’d kind of defeat the purpose of me trying to convince you I changed. Reaching across the table, he rests his hand atop of hers, unsure of whether that was okay or not, he lets his eyes fall on hers, “What would make you happy?”
Zoe couldn't help but notice the internal conflict within him. It was obvious that Miles saw her as more than a friend, but he was still trying to do the right thing- look out for her best interest. It was true, Miles had changed since last summer. He had become someone she could talk to, and trust. Before he had merely been a hot, mysterious rich boy she wanted to snag for status purposes. Just as she had likely been to him, a hot girl with status. "You're definitely not the guy who ditched me after Paris." Zoe admitted. Though she was attempting to be softer these days she still couldn't help letting out a sassy remark here and there. It was an imperative aspect of her personality, after all. There was slight disdain in his voice, as though he didn't believe her. "No really Miles, I'm not one to talk, but you've really shed your asshole skin." She smirked and let her lips curve into a playful smile.
It was true, Grace had not reacted the way she had anticipated in her imagination. But then again sometimes it seemed like Zoe had the imagination of a little girl, where everything could seemingly be fixed and perfect one way or another. Zoe was slowly realizing that things didn't always go according to plan. "Maybe she isn't. All I know is that I went too far. I mean, I'm fairly certain I like girls but jumping on Grace isn't exactly the best decision I've ever made. I mean we were just becoming friends... it wasn't like you and Tristan where you had already kissed. And besides, something tells me I'm not her type. She likes making of fun of me and playing the 'big sister' act too much." Zoe sighed. She felt Miles' hand on hers and she jumped slightly at the contact. For the most part the girl knew she wanted to keep Grace as her friend and she wanted Miles to see her in a positive light again. "Look, just try to understand I wasn't using you. It would make me happy if you knew that.. I really did like you. Maybe we can hangout. I can't promise anything, I know I'm not ready for a relationship and I'm going to be spending all of next term trying to get Grace to be my friend again but if there's something between us... I mean you and I.... well, I don't know." Zoe was at a loss for words. She retracted her hand and crossed her arms over her chest again.
Grace nodded in agreement, glad that Zoe was seeing it her way, too. She never liked to beat around the bush, and truthfully, when Zoe had given her that little speech on the beach, it was exactly what she had been waiting for ever since she had started acting funky. When Zoe referred to her as a ‘lovesick lesbian,’ it was the first sign for her to see just how caught up in her own feelings Zoe was. Grace had always felt something for Zoe, but she never expected it to be returned, so when Zoe started to get uncomfortable with her, it was all beginning to look familiar. Of course, as expected from the other girl, she had backed away from her feelings as she always seemed to do. What Grace hadn’t expected was the speech Zoe gave her, and honestly, it had been far too long since she felt that fluttery feeling in her chest, having avoided it for so long, yet now it was back in full swing as Zoe seemed to take the reigns. She leaned forward now as Zoe looked down, praying that the girl would be strong enough to look back up at her. If they had lost their comfortability with each other because of all of this, it would only hurt her more. She took a breath, one she didn’t even realize she had been holding, as Zoe continued to talk. It really was what she wanted to hear – not to the full extent, still missing the part that gave her any reason to trust her, but it was a start. She gave it a moment of silence before beginning. “Okay, Rivas, that’s because you are amazing. If I’m the only one who makes you feel that way, that’s a problem. You’re hanging around the wrong people,” she told her. It wasn’t often that she complimented people so easily, but it was truly how she felt about Zoe. “And you’re wrong.” Again, she paused, a small smile forming on her face. “You’re not misconstruing anything. I wanted to be your friend so badly. I’ve never fought so hard for a friend in my life, but.. that was because I didn’t think it could be more. But now?” she said, shrugging her shoulders, “You’re so all over the place, Zo. I’m trying to figure you out but I’m worried you’re gonna turn your back on me again. And then what?” She sighed, sitting back a bit and trying to grasp her own feelings on the matter. To be rejected by Zoe again, whether it be friendship or more, just wasn’t something she could handle right now.
Zoe was slightly shocked that Grace had told her she was amazing right off the bat. She figured the girl might wanna slap her or something first, especially after her flip-flopping behavior over the summer. "Thanks. Well, if you'll still have me I much prefer your company over everyone else who seemingly wants something out of me." Zoe sighed and sat back. Wrong? Zoe listened as Grace continued speaking. Was Zoe really not the only one who felt something? Apparently not, but just as Zoe had suspected, she didn't exactly make her feelings clear over the summer by ditching her for Miles and there was reason for Grace not to trust her. If anything, she just wanted the two of them to get back to how they were during the summer. Totally comfortable, inseparable and enjoying every moment. If anything came out of it, she'd be thrilled, but right now- she just wanted Grace to see her in a good light again. "I had a lot to figure out- and I know I didn't exactly put your feelings into consideration when I went off gallivanting with Miles, or when I kissed you without warning after blowing you off and calling you names when it was really just the pot calling the kettle black." Zoe was starting to have a knack for this whole 'being honest' thing. "I should have just told you how I was feeling all along." Zoe admitted, sipping on her latte and letting the caffeine take effect. "Can we just be friends again? No more ditching, and no more spontaneous kisses without warning." Zoe finally made eye contact with Grace after evading it purposefully for the past few minutes. "Miles is just a friend, not worth ditching you over. Especially since this summer was only a fling and he's still hung up on Tristan. Grace, I don't want to lose you." Zoe didn't think she had ever spoken so much over such a short period of time in her life. If she managed to get Grace back as her friend, she’d be happy- but something more? She’d be over the moon. But right now friendship was her main priority. She also didn’t want to cross any boundaries they might set. "Besides, you're also the only remotely bearable person at Degrassi as well." Zoe smirked and threw the girl a wink, trying to lighten up the mood a bit.
Quiet Times
He was genuinely baffled by her choice of words, and JT was unsure as to whether this girl was deliberately taking a dig at him and his situation, or if it was an unfortunate coincidence, and she’d been oblivious to a great deal of last year’s gossip. He supposed if it was the latter, then it was pretty refreshing. It felt like every pair of eyes was on either him or Liberty throughout the last few months, and he didn’t doubt that a cruel or ignorant thought was paired with each hollow stare that came their way. Still, JT learned not to pay it much mind. It wasn’t like anybody really knew the whole story, so their criticisms were hardly valid, just like the girl’s remark was simply that; flippant. He was past the point of being offended, of narrowing his eyes in fury and growing at her to get out of the theatre. He was too tired, and he so desperately wanted for things to back to the way they were. JT wanted to be actively happy in his last year at school, and for the most part, he was succeeding. It was only during his thinking time in the auditorium that he could let his guard down, take a breather, and get sentimental in his own company.
JT widened his eyes, and his jaw dropped slightly at the mention of the word ‘sorry’. After months of accusations of being irresponsible, ill-prepared and devious, being apologised to was a pleasant surprise. The girl stood up to leave, and he found himself confused. He hadn’t said all too much, but had he intimidated her? Frightened her, even? She was definitely younger than him, but he had no issues in getting on with underclassmen in the past. Now he felt like he was the one needing to say sorry.
“Wait; you can stay” he called out, hoping that he didn’t make the brunette jump “It’s okay. I’m not gonna rat you out.” Knowing that she wasn’t authorised to have a key meant that she probably wasn’t on a drama committee or the like, but JT still couldn’t help but add “You know, I thought you were in charge of this year’s big school production or something. That’s how I got my key, way back when.”
Zoe spun back around and looked at the boy who was still standing in the aisle. The girl left impulsively because she knew the kind of reaction she would get for pushing someone's buttons or hitting them where it hurt- at least normally. This guy was surprisingly relaxed about the whole thing. Usually Zoe wouldn't mind bumping heads with someone, especially an upperclassmen if only to prove her superiority- but these days she was trying to be a little softer. "Alright, you better not." Zoe said, putting her hard face back on. Or trying to, at least. She was still a little shaken up- it was weird knowing she shared her quiet space with someone else.
"Yeah well, I didn't exactly acquire my key by the most honest means." Zoe admitted, finally settling herself on the end of the stage, letting her feet dangle. "Hence why I'm trying to make sure you aren't gonna rat me out, kiddo." Zoe said, throwing JT a playful smirk, trying to let her guard down. She couldn't help but laugh to herself, at the irony of calling the older boy 'kiddo'. "I remember them saying how great the Dracula production was when I asked about the drama program. Myself, I'm more of a film actress. I don't suppose you've seen West Drive, have you?" Zoe asked sweetly with a tilt of her head. “Not that I don’t enjoy theatre also, a good actress needs to be well rounded.” She was seemingly enjoying this conversation, and almost forgot about the alone time she had reserved for herself.
i don’t know what brings broken people together maybe damage seeks out damage the way stains on a mattress halo into one another the way stains on a mattress bleed into each other.
Warsan Shire (via brit-rps)
Those three words was the only response she gave to the girl. It wasn’t that she didn’t care or that she wanted to hurt Zoe but they hadn’t gotten off to a good start and Grace was sure they had nothing in common when it came to personalities not to mention their lives. Part of it…most of it…was the blue haired girls fault and she new this but she also had a policy with herself for not feeling too bad about what she said, for the most part. She didn’t like regrets and she hated apologies they didn’t mean anything and nothing ever changed with apologizes or regrets. As the girl spoke she opened her book again and didn’t say anything. As Zoe walked out of the room Grace watched and once she was out of the room she moved to her cupboard and unlocked it, pulling out some things she would need for later.
Knowing that they were on ten minute showers Grace sighed and walked, moving to wait since all of the stalls were taken. She knocked on one of them, just wanting to take a quick shower. Everything she had with her her mother and father had made sure she was able to use and wouldn’t end up getting confiscated. IT was the top of the line, provided by one of her mothers high profile friends that worked in the beauty industry and she always kept it hidden except when she was taking a shower. Hearing someone’s voice she sighed and looked at the clock on the wall, noting when it would be five minutes from then.
Grace had issues, she had a lot to work through and a lot that she kept from even her therapist. The saying that a person’s secrets kept and/or made them sick was starting to make Grace think after being in the hospital off and on since she fourteen. Standing there she shook the thoughts from her mind, not wanting to think about it anymore. Noticing the time pass she banged on the stall again. “Hurry up!”
When Zoe heard the voice through the door she couldn't believe her luck. Of course it would be the girl who apparently wanted to make her life hell while she was there. Zoe washed the shampoo and soap off her body and cringed at the stinging sensation she got every time the hot water interacted with her wounds. Zoe dreaded that she'd have to retreat to the nurse's station after dressing herself to have them tended to again. The pain was a constant reminder of what she had done to herself- but more so why she had done it. She wasn't a porcelain doll, Zoe Rivas bled and cried just like everyone else.
Zoe quickly dried herself off, paying careful attention not to hit her wounds. Seeing as the girl was trying to rush as quickly as she could, it was bound to happen once or twice. "Shit" Zoe mumbled to herself as blood began trickling out of a slit on her chest. She wrapped her robe around as tightly as possible but unfortunately it didn't cover everything. She gathered her belongings and rushed out of the stall, being sure not to make eye contact with Grace. Zoe didn't say a word as she staggered down the hall to their room and quickly dressed herself in a new hospital gown, doing her best to avoid getting blood on it. She cleaned up her space as well as possible, placing her dirty clothes in the hamper by the door. Zoe rushed to the nurse's station- thankful for the few minutes she had without Grace making her feel like crap.
Zoe knocked on the Nurse's station and they quickly tended to her, caring enough to provide her with yet another fresh hospital gown. Zoe did happen to get blood on it as much as she wanted to avoid it. The girl hated herself for crying as they fixed her up, the rubbing alcohol burn was nothing compared to the emotional pain she felt. Zoe was almost thanking God for the evening dose of meds they gave her before sending her back to her room. When Zoe arrived Grace was back, hair wet from the shower. She sat on her bed and stared at the wall, waiting for the meds to kick in. Zoe hadn't even noticed that her hair wasn't brushed.She knew it would be in her best interest to not even bother trying to speak to Grace.
The many times she had met up with Zoe before had been slightly disastrous. The girl always wanted something from her, whether it was help in her current scheme or otherwise. It was only recently that the two had become friends, and all due to an assignment they were paired up for. But since then, she really did enjoy having Zoe as a friend – as long as she was getting the real Zoe, not the one with a mask on. Since the kiss, her feelings were blurry. She needed a friend, whether she wanted to admit it or not, but a relationship was something she definitely didn’t need. Given that it was Zoe, it only became more complicated. Her feelings for her were difficult to understand after being so bent up about their friendship, so right now, she was trying her best to stay neutral to everything. She needed to trust Zoe before anything happened, and that’s exactly what she would work towards. She was barely able to answer her question as the server came. Turning her attention to the server, she placed her order and looked back at Zoe. Shrugging her shoulders, she tapped her fingers on the table. “It’s been okay. Just preparing for school, I guess.” She could have returned the question, but she wasn’t exactly interested. Leaning forward a bit, she stared back at the other girl, anxious enough to get this talk underway. “We don’t need to waste time with small talk. Not you and I,” she reminded her, letting out a sigh. “I’m ready for whatever you want to throw my way.” It was a lie – she wasn’t ready at all, but she needed to hear it.
Zoe was a little surprised that Grace had engaged in her small talk, however briefly. She ordered herself a latte with an extra shot of espresso- Zoe somehow felt she'd need an extra boost to get through the day. Zoe leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. Once again Grace was seemingly seeing right through her. "Yeah, I guess you're right. We've never been the types for small talk." Zoe admitted as the server set her drink down in front of her. Zoe placed the mug between her palms and let it warm her; the cool breeze in the air possessed the promise of fall arriving at any minute. Grace wasn't one for beating around the bush, it was no wonder she had jumped right into it. Zoe broke the eye contact and settled her hands in her lap, willing herself not to begin chipping at her fresh manicure. Zoe knew she had at least freaked the girl out a little bit when she had kissed her without warning last week; but she also knew how Grace made her feel. Whether she had mixed up a romantic connection with a platonic one or not, Grace was someone she didn't want to lose. Zoe looked up. "All I know is that when I'm around you, I feel amazing. You make me happy." Zoe said honestly. "And I know I shouldn't have kissed you and I'm probably misconstruing your friendship towards me but... I couldn't help but feel something between us." Zoe had probably never been so honest in her life, aside from the instance at the beach the previous week. “I swear I’ll shut up about it forever but I want you to know I’m trying to be honest for once in my life... and... I’m sorry for calling you names again. It wasn’t fair of me to deflect my insecurities onto you.” Zoe took a deep breath and sipped on her drink as she waited for Grace’s response. She was way more nervous than she had anticipated.
❛ can’t control a girl like you : miles & zoë
The day was still young and Miles was curious about what sort of trouble the two would find themselves in during the next hour or so. They were more alike than Miles ever originally planned on knowing when they first interacted a year ago, and now, he was grateful that he had someone that was so like him — lifestyle-wise and personality-wise, no one else at Degrassi that he knew could compare. Maybe that’s why they got off so well, or maybe that’s just what he told himself to justify why they were even hanging out again in the first place. After his fallout with Tristan, his pathetic attempt to win Maya back and his parents’ divorce all within a few month time span, he felt like he was at standstill emotionally and he was yearning to feel something again; whether it was good or bad. “You kept your word.” He comments smoothly, an almost shaky hand reaching out to grab the cup and tug it closer to his form, feeling the heat radiate into his palm. “Thanks — next time will be on me.” He nods in appreciation at her gesture, wondering if there’d even BE a next time. Regardless if this summer meant for them to be friends or more, he needed someone in his corner. He was virtually alone again, friendless and almost without a family, too ( but he saw that one coming ).
His attempt at small talk was immediately shot down as she dove into where he wasn’t expecting the conversation to go, at least for a little while. He brings the cup to his lips, taking a small sip and cringing at how hot the beverage was. “I’m pretty pissed, I guess.” He shrugs, the pads of his fingers tracing the plastic lid of the cup. “I know I’m not really one to talk about my ‘feelings’ or whatever, but I was feeling kinda’ shitty.” He doesn’t delve into why or give much rhyme or reason, but forest optics are forcing themselves on his surroundings and not on her. “If you were confused about your feelings for Grace, you could’ve just talked to me about it instead of make out with me to test yourself, or whatever it was you were doing it for.” Taking a larger drink this time, he feels the smooth liquid trail effortless down the hatch as he finally finds the nerve to look at the brunette across from him. “I can’t really be mad, though. I was a jerk last summer.” There’s regret in his voice, as well as solace for how he had acted when he first arrived at Degrassi — and maybe why he was trying so hard this summer was because he knew he obliterated any decent chance with Zoe last year. “Making out with you again wasn’t exactly anything to complain about, though. I missed it.” A small mischievous and playful grin comes to surface as he tries to lighten the conversation, not wanting their get together to go negatively. “I’ll get over it, though. I always do. Is this the part where I encourage you to go profess your love to Grace? ‘Cause I don’t exactly want to do that.”
It was almost somewhat odd to her how relaxed she was around Miles these days- and she could tell he felt the same way about her. In Paris, Zoe had been hell-bent on impressing the guy. After all the drama of last year, it was like the two of them had been stripped of their facades however unwillingly but it seemed like she could just relax and be herself around Miles. In fact, underneath it all they had a lot in common. "Of course I kept my word, idiot." Zoe threw the boy a smirk and lifted her latte to her lips, the sweet cinnamon smell easing her senses "Next time?" Zoe asked somewhat hopefully. Considering that Miles had even accepted her invitation to have coffee that afternoon, Zoe couldn't help but feel like they had a chance to start off on a good note. The two of them were similar enough, but if Zoe was able to get Miles to see things from her perspective- perhaps they could move past this. The last thing she wanted was for the boy to continue thinking that her only intention of spending time with him that past summer was to figure out how she felt about Grace. Somehow- that ended up being the case, and it did bring some things to light, but in all honesty she did love spending time with Miles.
Zoe couldn't help but be so upfront, there was clear upset written all over his very handsome face and she wanted to clear the air. His response didn't surprise her, Zoe could tell from a mile away that Miles was pissed at her. The brunette didn't realize right away that he had even been remotely invested in their little fling that summer. After how he had treated her, and made it ever so clear that he 'didn't do re-runs', Zoe honestly thought they were just fooling around for kicks. She didn't know his feelings were involved, or that she would have been capable of hurting them. She knew if they had any chance of making amends, her best bet was to just be honest."I was hanging out with you and kissing you because I wanted to, the feelings for Grace came out of nowhere and to be honest.. I didn't think you'd mind." Zoe said very matter of factly, setting her latte down and crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, at least you're aware." Zoe responded playfully regarding his behavior towards her last summer. “Look, I really want us to start fresh; and for the record you're not such a bad kisser yourself." Zoe responded and lifted her sunglasses onto her head. "I think she's had enough surprise speeches for now." Zoe moved her eyes downwards. "I probably completely freaked her out."
Instead of lashing out at the girl that seemed to grate on her nerves Grace decided to just ignore her. She knew what she had to do to get out and she had been there longer, knowing how the place worked helped her as well as how to work the system. Not that she had any plans on helping Zoe to figure it out. After years spent in and out of the hospital she had learned that it was easier to comply than to fight the system, to admit that she had a problem and let them help her though she never seemed to be able to hold onto her health and recovery for very long once she was released. It always ended up with her skipping her therapy and nutritionist sessions. But over time she was learning how to control her temper but she did say what was on her mind most of the time. As she listened to her new roommate speak she bit her tongue, continuing to read her book, and tried to hold her temper. Yes she was on medication but that wasn’t one of them.
Grace didn’t look up, didn’t acknowledge the other girl and just read her book. She turned the page and continued the sentence from the page before. She enjoyed the silence albeit brief silence that followed the girls last snarky remark. Letting out a mental sigh, not one that could be heard she continued to read though she hoped that Zoe wasn’t a talker but that didn’t seem to be the case when she started to talk, yet again. The more she talked and assumed about Grace the more the blue haired girl could feel the loss of the control she had on her temper and tongue. Deciding to try and be civil to the new roommate she’d been assigned she put the marker in her book and turned to look at the other. “Zoe…Got it…” was all she said and turned back to her book with a roll of her eyes. She wasn’t impressed by Zoe, not at all.
It may have been only three words, but at least it was something. In all honesty, Zoe was surprised the girl had even responded. It was obvious the girl had issues of her own, and sharing a room with Zoe was seemingly less than thrilling to Grace. “Fine if that’s the way you wanna play it.” Zoe said, sitting up from her bed and grabbing her bag off the edge. “That’s the way it’s gonna be. Just stay out of my space.” Zoe snapped before throwing her duffel over her shoulder and sauntered off to the nurse’s station for some shampoo. She could barely ignore the stinging in her eyes. Zoe never cried, at least not in front of anyone. Especially not Grace, who to her, Zoe could be run over by a truck and the blue haired girl would probably stand and laugh.
The entire situation just reinforced Zoe’s need to remain closed off and pretend everything was fine. “Here you go, only 10 minutes for a shower we’re trying to save water.” Zoe nodded as she grabbed a towel, a bar of soap and a clean hospital gown. “Okay.” Zoe responded, forcing a smile before she headed back to the showers. The last thing she wanted was to make the staff feel like she was more messed up than she already felt. Feels, shmeels. The papers sitting in her file claimed she was confirmed crazy. Zoe hopped into the shower stall and quickly undressed, peeling off her bandages she looked at her cuts for the first time since they had been tended to and she cringed, the tears flooding her eyes as she turned on the faucet. How did she get here? Zoe always tried her best to be perfect but in here, she was falling apart. Faking a confident demeanor was harder than she had anticipated. The cold tiles stung her feet and she slid down the shower walls as she settled herself under the faucet, letting her tears mix in with the scorching water. The hot temperature hitting her wounds was the most she had felt since they fed her the cocktail of medication. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. “Five minutes!” Zoe demanded as she poured some shampoo into her hand. Zoe cursed the nurse’s station for not providing conditioner.
