Mixed Personalities

Hot damn. Master in Crisis. 27, she/her. English B.S., English M.A., published. Resting bitch face.

[stopoftouchingmywingsihurt]

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????

[foxyclock]

this post is less than 1% away from being completely incomprehensible

[shencomix]

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(End)

[lolt64]

i just showed an ant the truth and it popped like a firecracker

[foxgirltail]

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

[eviloliveoil]

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[i-post-hilarious-shit]

[lastoneout]

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

[lastoneout]

Every time you feel bad for having coffee with cream and sugar or ranch on your salad or putting extra butter and salt on your veggies I want you to imagine the spirit of John Harvey Kellogg in front of you and then I want you to kill him with a real gun and eat your delicious food in peace.

[regularhill]

[lacefuneral]

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

[twentythousandblades]

[gluten-free-pussy]

Had a convo with a man at my gym today and he’s one of those patrons that will check in at like 7 or 8am and then leave at around noon. I asked him how he was able to afford to spend 4-5 hours at the gym every weekend (today was a holiday in Canada) and he’s like:

“Yeah it’s my ‘me time’, ya know. It’s my time to unwind. My house is pretty hectic. We’ve got 4 kids and a newborn.”

“…5 kids?”

“Yeah, the oldest is 10.”

“Wow…so your wife is just at home rn with the kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Alone…”

“She’s not alone, she’s got the kids”

“Yeah no…no…that’s not what I meant…What does she do for her me time?”

“…she has the kids, what do you mean?”

[wizardarchetypes]

was at the corner store getting a few snacks and a 7 year old with a single packet of two poptarts struck up a conversation with me while I was choosing between Chex mix flavors. weighed in on the flavors. They continued to follow me through the store all the way to checkout and stood there talking to me at the register so the cashier thought they were my kid and I finally said “are you possibly hoping for someone to buy those poptarts” and they pulled out a WAD of cash and said “nope just talking to ya.”

absolutely enchanting child no notes

[wizardarchetypes]

energy of an 85 year old who got freaky friday’d tbh

[aircraftsillustrated1976-deacti]

[gemstone-gynoid]

[yumebfdotcom]

Hotel Transylvania

[hellothepixel]

im sorry the what

[missjukebox8bit]

this one

[koth-harvest-final]

the current meme is based on the following which is based on that one

which i assume is from tumblr based on how one of the panels is lifted from that "its ok i am a lesbo" picture

[hellothepixel]

So the timeline is

- I am lesbo

- I'm stuff

- i am lesbo x I'm stuff fusion

- transfem Jonathan and transmasc mavis

[missjukebox8bit]

as far as anyone can tell this is the original “I am a lesbo” image, for the record

[astrathepasta]

I'm sobbing oh my god

[queerlilacroses]

I heard...now don't shoot the messenger but this is the og I am gay tho

[redwyverndht]

Why the fuck is it woody and bolt

WHY THE FUCK IS IT WOODY AND BOLT

[biraptor123]

Wait why does Dracula refer Joanne as *his* daughter?

[gemstone-gynoid]

if your child marries someone, that partner becomes your daughter-in-law or son-in-law. 

[handhond]

[aquilacalvitium]

There is

So much going on here

[delta-domine]

This is like an archeological dig site but the philosophers are still alive and talking

[arthreena]

I...Im not even gonna try

[64mpg]

what do you mean my childhood affected me

[64mpg]

i have terrible news

[minecraft]

I'm at a :.|:; for words.

[shodaisatellite]

[fuck-customers]

one time our ketchup dispenser broke. corporate refuses to give us out of order signs because it “looks bad” so i had to write on a sticky note and put it on the handle. i watched a customer walk up, remove the sticky note, throw it into the trash, lift the handle, and get blasted with ketchup leaving the nozzle at mach speed. all over her white shirt. she came around the counter and tried yelling at me about how we needed to place an out of order sign on it and i had the pleasure of informing her that she threw our out of order sign away.

Posted by admin Rodney

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[dragon-in-a-fez]

big fan of the four-year-old on this flight who yelled "THEY ARE BRINGING COMPLEMENTARY BEVERAGES" when the flight attendants came down with the drinks cart