:)

M/20. College chump

[ampersketch-art]

Did you know that— hold on I'm getting a call.

Hello?

[ampersketch-art]

What?

Who died?

[ampersketch-art]

Well I'm not too upset by this but how?

[ampersketch-art]

...uh huh, uh huh...

[ampersketch-art]

Every single Power Ranger, you say?

[escuerzoresucitado]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[mino2aur]

come on man

[mino2aur]

[greatlyunknowablenumbers]

Asked and answered

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

gnomes in a tree stump weeping with guilt as they turn their lollipops in the keyholes to arm and launch the intercontinental ballistic thistle

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

their commanding gnofficer standing behind them with a pine needle saying he won't hesitate to gnexecute them for defying a direct gnorder

[itmeansalot]

Aborted neighbour: I would have loved to do construction at 3am

[sowecoulddance]

its christmas eve and look whos on tumblr

all of us

[sharper-and-bigger]

Jesus also spent Christmas in a barn full of animals

[girlgrimer]

Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

[girlgrimer]

Follow me for more wikipedia ^

[luimnigh]

This is shockingly close to the truth.

Both come from the Latin "burgus", meaning castle or fortified town. A burglar being someone who bypassed the security of fortifications.

Meanwhile burger comes via Hamburg, the burg of Hamma.

So burgers are named after fortifications, and burglars are the ones who bypass them.

[bubba-san]

The Hamburglar is a reunion of terms

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I just reduced a dog to its base components (dog powder, binding reagent) with alchemical techniques

[kaijuno]

[controllerpervert]

i have something to say

[sacred-portal]

[no-tengo-ojos]

Incredible things happening on tumblr

[stillunpainted]

This came into my head and I had no choice but to make it real

[kunosoura]

everyone had that one guy at their wizard school said edgy shit like "dark magic is just misunderstood, not evil" that ended up wanted in three countries for necromancy

[kalichnikov]

[vicholas]

everyone is always like "jason kills people who have premarital sex because the movies support conservative values" or "jason kills people who have premarital sex because the movies are criticizing conservative values"

why is it never "why do people keep having sex near the cursed lake with the undead guy" or "how can we be so sure that he only targets couples having premarital sex and not just sex in general, what if it's just sampling bias"

[vicholas]

what if we're all looking at it in the wrong way.

what if it's not that jason specifically targets people who have sex but rather that people nearby jason can't help to have sex because his presence makes them horny. because of his pheromones.

[prokopetz]

Just spent over an hour on a customer support line talking to half a dozen different people across five separate transfers, and the final resolution was that they were unable to help me because at some point in that process I'd somehow been transferred to their Australian branch. I didn't even know they had an Australian branch.

[prokopetz]

I wonder if they just transfer everyone they don't want to deal with to Australia.

[diceinacan]

[consulships]

the male womb is just located deeper in the man. uou have to try harder