ive never changed my icon before now lmao

i love my cats so much

[peelingmandarins]

[the-vegan-muser]

me when I see a cat if I’m being honest

[iraffiruse]

[tim-official]

see every time i see this status i get angry because i’ve played through literally every scenario in rct1 and there is no place where this is a thing. there is never more than one park per map. and in rct2 you can’t make that happen i the scenario editor either. it is not remotely within the game’s functionality to simulate two discrete parks and these games were coded in assembly for christ sake so it’s not like someone modded it in by adding the line “int const TOTAL_NUM_POSSIBLE_PARKS = 2;”. there is no conceivable way this post is anything close to true and even though i know how writing all this out reflects upon me as a person and even though i know exactly how meaningless and trifling of a takedown attempt this is on some random facebook screencap with hundreds of thousands of notes im going to post it anyway because i’m too petty to have any say in the matter

[pangur-and-grim]

belphie is always psyched out of his mind to see me, and the feeling is mutual. I'm like "BELPHIE! MY BOY!" and he's purring and wagging his tail and doing his little plip-plip-plip speed trot toward me, and meanwhile we were together all day but were just in different rooms for a second

[pangur-and-grim]

hello my sweetie boy! I love you!

[pangur-and-grim]

[sloppystyle]

Happy Send Me On My Way Sunday

[thunderbottle]

he’s on his way

[sgt-cookie-2]

Me (A time traveler visiting 20-year old Mozart): OK, so, this is called an electric guitar, basically instead of the body functioning as a resonance chamber, it produces music by harnessing the power of lightning. Do you have any other questions?

Mozart (Currently shredding Violin Concerto No. 1 on the guitar, having figured it out within 30 seconds): What other music can be made from harnessed lightning?

Me (Loading up some heavy dubstep): Oh, we're just getting started.

[mikkeneko]

#i keep thinking about this all the time#not just about mozart#but specifically about bach#who was OBSESSED with regularity and perfect tempo#he would have wept with joy at music played by robots instead of humans#and then he could have gone REALLY ham on the fugues. - via @parkersgeorg

[escuerzoresucitado]

[meangirlnurse]

[shiverandqueeef]

how measurements work in canada (ie/ badly)

[your-dads-filing-cabinet]

@/teaboot

[teaboot]

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

[rockergiirl]

samsung have announced they're releasing a smart toaster featuring an onboard AI chatbot

[rockergiirl]

samsung released blog post regarding their new smart toaster and complaints from customers

We hear you are all disappointed with the AI capabilities of our new smart toaster, and rest assured we hear your complaints. However, we are confident people will grow to love their new smart toaster AI companion, and will regard them as a bright cheerful addition to their day. If you find its constant requests for you to always eat toast, we suggest adopting a more toaster-friendly diet.

[rockergiirl]

yes removing the speaker will void the warranty

[default-cube]

i thought this was a joke since a toaster is just about the most ridiculous thing to add a chatbot to, but no, it's real

[segamascott]

[teaboot]

My problem is that I have a deep admiration and respect for ingenuity, dedication, and commitment to the bit.

Which is ultimately benign, until I am placed in the role of a caregiver or general authority over a person or animal

Because I can't just catch someone in the midst of pulling off a ridiculous, clever, determined and absurd little scheme and just act like I'm not impressed

It wouldn't be honest or fair

And so, it appears that if anything with free will is placed in my care long enough, they invariably learn that if they can get me to laugh without hurting anybody or risking their health then they can pretty much get away with almost anything

Which has resulted in some very funny events

[teaboot]

He tore open a bag of cheetos and hid them somewhere in the apartment so even after I cleaned up the mess and put the bag in the fridge every couple hours I hear a crunching sound and follow it to find him hunched defensively in a corner eating a cheeto

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[paranormal-taters]

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

[paranormal-taters]

okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.

[paranormal-taters]

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[torsamors-deactivated20250510]

happy pride

[torsamors-deactivated20250510]

okay so spock (the alien in blue) essentially goes into heat. like literal heat like an animal. Anyway, spock’s in bloodlust in this episode and must go back to vulcan to have sex with his finace (or someone. but its supposed to be his fiance) or he’ll literally die. this is called pon farr and some backstory spock is half human and thought he wouldnt go through pon farr so he abandoned his HOT fiance to fuck around in space except oops pon farr happens so. he and kirk (in yellow getting his tits cut open, he’s also spocks captain and best friend) and their other friend mccoy go to vulcan so he can have sex with his fiance or get married or whatever so he doesn’t die. but then spock’s fiance (t’pring) is like no i dont want to marry spock i want to have him fight someone to death (which she can do) and spock at this point is fully in the ‘blood lust’ and is basically not in his right mind and doesnt get what’s happening. and t’pring picks kirk to be her ‘champion’ in the fight (her logic is that if spock dies in the fight she doesnt have to marry him and if kirk dies, spock will be so upset with her he won’t marry her anymore anyway). anyway kirk doesnt know that its a fight to the death and so he’s like of course i’ll do this fight if it’ll help spock and then he gets told it’s a fight to the death and he goes WHAT and right afterwards spock slices his titties open like in the gif. also eventually spock and kirk roll around in the sand and kirk fakes his death and THIS somehow knocks spock out of his blood lust and he goes back to the ship super sad bc he’s killed his ‘best friend’ only to discover kirk’s alive and we see one of his biggest smiles of the series (a big deal bc spock is vulcan and they dont show emotion). anyway this aired as the season opener in 1967. know your history and all that happy pride

[trekheritageposts]

star trek heritage post (June 1st, 2022)

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/