Remember the Sunflowers

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

sindri42

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

roach-works

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

championofdnd

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

beating this dead horse with memes

everythingismadeofchaos

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

onsuchsmallthingstheworldturns

We’re happy to have you!

shiftofgallifrey

You people are normal right. If I learn how to be a person from you it would be fine right

lerios

tumblr users perfec t people for put friendship in to lea\rn! tumblr community very Normal and Informative learn safely put Shift in tumblr. put Shift In tumblr. no strangeness ever in tumblr users because good social skills and linguistic conventions for Shift brain full with big human interpersonal interactions. a tumblr yes a place for a Shift put Shift in tumblr can trust tumblr for giveing good social skills to Shift. friend tumblr users

joepickett

Galavant 1.05

Sitcom, Comedy, Parody, Adventure, Musical, FantasyA musical comedy adventure featuring a knight on a quest for love who helps a childish ki

All the episodes of Galavant are on the Internet Archive!

#galavant #abc galavant #timothy omundson

stabthroughme

Ilya is the white woman who rescues "kitties" and "puppies" from the sides of roads only to bring them to vets who go "this is a mountain lion/coyote/cougar/lynx pup" and on one occasion that Shane will never let him live down "this is a bear cub".

Shane has the nearest wildlife sanctuaries/rehabs at the Cottage and in Ottawa on speed dial. They're on a first name basis with Ilya and most of them don't even know Ilya or Shane play hockey they're just "the Russian with the white woman animal whispering powers and his long suffering husband"

whitenoisefanfiction

Shane pinched his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose, suppressing a heavy sigh as he reached for his phone. He was standing in the kitchen of the Cottage, the huge window letting in the natural light, painting everything a soft gold colour.

He had been at the Cottage for a grand total of three hours now, ready to start his relaxing holiday. Hell, the groceries he had bought hadn't even been moved from the stack of bags on the island counter where they had been placed haphazardly.

Shane had meant to deal with that as soon as possible but unfortunately, very foreseen circumstances had distracted him from his task and sent him running outside and into the chaos.

Opening his contacts, he flicked down to a very familiar number and pressed the call button, shooting an annoyed look towards the dining room table as he raised it to his ear.

The phone rang three times before it was answered with a soft hello.

"Hi Janice, it's Shane." He said, his tone curt, his eyes not leaving the scene before him.

He listened for a moment, hearing the reply.

"Yes, the holiday just started. We arrived today actually." He continued.

There was another pause. And then….

"I don't want to know who won the bet. I just wanted to let you know, it happened again."

Another pause.

"No. Not a Bear this time, thankfully. You don't need to send everyone out here. Just Marcel will do."

Silence for a moment as Shane listened. And then….

"A baby loon actually."

Quickly he raised a hand to stop an argument coming from the dining area.

"Yeah, he thought it was an injured duck."

Silence and then.

"Ok. Thank you Janice. We will wait for Marcel to arrive. Hopefully he hasn't named it this time."

Then Shane hung up the phone, his head dropping so he could stare at the device intently.

Taking a deep breath through his nose, he held it for a few seconds before slowly releasing it through his mouth.

Then he again raised his head to glare at the table. Where Ilya sat, mud splattered and cradling a thick towel to his chest. At his feet, equally mud splattered, her tail wagging, sat Anya. Thank God she was well trained enough not to start running through the place. As Shane stared, a small and incredibly ugly head popped out of the folds of fabric, looking around in confusion.

"You can't keep it, Ilya." He said pointedly.

Ilya threw him a disappointed look, his grip on the towel tightening.

"But Katya looked so cold and scared outside." He argued. "I couldn't just leave her. Not my fault she turned out to be an ugly, stupid wolf bird. Besides, Anya bonded with her."

Shane groaned and dropped his head to meet the cool stone counter.

"Ilya, God Dammit!"

(This caught my attention, and I had to give it a go. I actually have written a lot more of this idea and was thinking of doing a full story but for the moment, here is a ficlet I wrote to procrastinate vacuuming)

Let’s s write a story together.

An office lady and a clowngirl are roommates, what are their names?

spaceshipsandpurpledrank

Patricia and Connie

Which one is which?

dear-mortality

the the office lady is Patricia and she’s always tired or forgetting something

the clown girl is connie and she’s always trying to make Patricia laugh (also her jokes remind her of what she forgot)

Sometimes Patrica wonders why the hell she has Connie as a roommate, when they first met she wasn’t making enough to afford rent at their place, but now she could. Why does she still have Connie around?

Unspoken romantic desires

How does Patrica plan on dealing with said romantic desires?

She doesnt plan on dealing with them at all, and isn’t even sure that’s what they are. So she just clings to the status quo and doesnt want anything to change, for fear that if she says anything out loud it will change irrevocably.

Can Connie detect these feelings?

No, but there are moments where she makes Patricia laugh and the silence after is thick with tension she couldn’t place at first. She never thought of her like that, but one time she made Patricia laugh so hard she let out a little snort and got embarrassed, but Connie’s heart skipped a beat and found it intensely endearing. That’s when she knew. Connie starts to think the tension is coming from HER, not Patricia, and tries desperately to hide it under the guise of jokes.

Patrica’s boss’ kid is turning 7 and they were looking for a clown to hire. Patricia, without realizing it, recommends Connie. So now the duo is invited to the party, (or rather Patricia is invited, Connie is working). Patrica thinks that this is a good opportunity to schmooze with her boss. How does the party go with the both of them there?

The party goes well, but Patricia’s coworkers keep making comments about how great it is that she brought her “girlfriend” to the party. Her cheeks get hot and she adamantly denies it and the coworkers look shocked and are all like “Wow, okay. We just thought… because you seemed so…” and the entire party is Patricia comedy-style trying to avoid the coworkers talking to Connie about their perceived relationship by causing scenes and at one point she accidentally falls into the cake. Everything goes dead silent, and they look to the 7 year old, sure that they will start crying. instead, the kid starts laughing hysterically. The boss is absolutely delighted. “Best clown ever!” they laugh. Patricia is relieved and Connie says “If you were interested in clownery I could have given you some pointers.”

After the party Connie gives Patricia her normal clothes and they go to a laundromat. One person comments on Connie’s clown attire, saying something along the lines of “laundry day, amirite?” Patricia tries to focus on anything but her mind keeps going back to the fact that the sweater Connie lent her smells like her. The clown, on the other hand, is attempting to speed up the washing process via mental telepathy. Begging the machine to hurry up. When Patricia was changing earlier, Connie accidentally caught a peek. She had a camisole on underneath but the imagery of her removing clothes has Connie hot under the collar and the clown suit wasn’t making her any cooler. Who speaks up first?

Connie speaks up first but in classic Connie fashion she makes a joke, like “I… think you look good even when you’re covered in frosting”, but it wasn’t her words that caught Patricia’s attention, it was the look on her face. Patricia says “I think you look good even when you’re covered in face paint.” Connie’s face brightens up. “Don’t forget the red nose,” she says. They both start laughing and they lean in closer as they share this joke together, and as the laughter dies down they realize they’re inches apart. The look in each other’s eyes confirms everything. Finally everything is clear and open between them.