Tim, walking into the Batcave and noticing everyone’s distraught appearance: What’s wrong?? Who died??
Stephanie: We have bad news Tim. You should sit down.
Tim: Oh shit did someone actually die?? Who was it this time?
Dick: Remember that civilian that we catch trailing after us every so often? The one who was involved in the Penguin incident awhile ago?
Tim: Oh. Clarissa O’Neal? What about her?
Damian: She was taken hostage by one of Black Masks henchmen. We didn’t make it in time to save her.
Tim: ? And that’s why you guys are so upset? C’mon guys lighten up, it’s movie night
Jason, getting visibly pissed: What the Fuck dude. A civilian we were close to fucking died because we didn’t make it in time
Dick: I know you didn’t like her much but show a bit of empathy Timmy. You usually take these situations seriously
Tim: I’ve been trying to kill her off for ages. Why would I be upset??
Steph: Tim you have 10 seconds to fix your attitude before i fix it for you
Jason: Since when do you take people’s lives so lightly? Dude you need to leave before I do something i regret.
Tim: I didn’t know you guys were so attached to her. I could revive her if you want, but honestly it’s more effort than it’s worth. And she was getting unwanted attention from the rogues so she had to go.
Damian: Revive?? Timothy what are you on about? And why are you saying that like you personally set up her demise?
Tim: Because I did? The planning for it took forever but I have to admit everything went a lot better than I was expecting.
Steph, screaming over everyone else: WAIT SHUT UP
Steph: TIM NO YOU DID NOT
Steph: TIM DON’T TELL ME YOU DID IT AGAIN
Dick: Again?!? What are you talking about?!
Steph, laughing: Guys calm down. HE was Clarissa
Tim: You guys didn’t know??
Jason: HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE HISPANIC LOOKING WOMEN IN HER MID TWENTIES AND A CRIME ALLEY ACCENT WAS YOU
Dick: Tim i am THIS CLOSE to burning down your disguise room.
Damian: Timothy explain yourself
Tim: I had an undercover op that I needed a female field agent for a couple years ago to infiltrate penguins operations. Over time She became a bit too important and Black mask was threatening her. So I decided to kill her off. I got the info I needed already and it was becoming a bit of a drag keeping up appearances
Steph: You need to stop getting us emotionally invested in your aliases and then killing them off. This is the fourth time you did this to me. I’ll never forgive you for Alvin Draper, I still grieve him even though i know you’re alive!
Tim: YOU guys need to start recognizing me in disguise. Worlds greatest detectives MY ASS
Jason: DUDE YOU GAVE YOURSELF DOUBLE D’s WHY WOULD WE ASSUME THAT WAS YOU
Damian: My training in this area has been neglected. Timothy show me your disguise lair
Tim: Sure, after movie night. Let’s go
Dick: This is gonna bite us in the ass. Damian is already so good at impressions. We will never know if someone we are talking to is him or not
Tim: LMAO When i’m done with him? Yea everyone’s fucked
Steph: It’s gonna give Roger from American dad
Bruce from the corner: *Breathes a sigh of relief*
Bruce at the Batcomputer: *Sighs and moves Clarissa O’Neal from ‘Real Civilian Death’ folder to ‘Tim’s Fake Identities’ folder. Creates new folder labeled ‘Damian’s Fake Identities’
