Jason; so ,, i had a thought and-
Damian: careful, dont hurt yourself too much with that
Jason: HEY thats uncalled for
Tim: nah hes right, last time you had a thought, there were heads in a duffle bag
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Jason; so ,, i had a thought and-
Damian: careful, dont hurt yourself too much with that
Jason: HEY thats uncalled for
Tim: nah hes right, last time you had a thought, there were heads in a duffle bag
pets of wayne family
Bruce: Ace
Dick: Haley
Jason: Dog
Tim: Batman(human)
Damian: Titus ,Alfred(cat) , Batcow ,Goliath, Jerry,
Bruce: Ace is getting up in his age, hes not as playful as he used to be *SIGH*
Jason: considering he was a police dog (?) hes definitely lived longer than expected
Dick: i dont know what i would do without haley slobbering all over me every morning to wake me up for breakfast and-
Tim: i used to have a pet
Jason: really? didnt you say your parent-
Tim: Batman, oh how i miss you
Bruce: Tim… are you referring to me in a depressive state after Jasons death as a pet?
Dick: in past tense no less, hes saying his pet is dead
Tim: to be fair i had to make sure you didnt die or killed someone, had to feed you and make you go to sleep, practically all thats needed for a pet
Damian: theres something very wrong with everyone in this family
thought it would be funny if Tim was the tallest robin cause he grew quickly but stopped growing just as fast
dick: so now that damian has outgrown tim, its time to update the chart :D
jason: what chart?
dick: the “which robin is tallest /shortest at ‘this’ age” chart :D
steph: okay but not all of us where robin at age 8 and then age 16 , how is it gonna be fair?
dick: its gonna be an estimated guess , i had Alfred and Bruce help estimate what height some of you would be
Jason: okay , but why mention that Damian outgrew tim?
Dick: BEEcause , now we can add to the chart that tim is the shortest of us all at age 20 and he will stay the shortest since he stopped growing :D
jason: how does that make you feel tim
Tim: the truth hurts but the victory will be sweeter once you all learn where i am on the robin height scale
Dick: . . . anyways, heres the chart:
tallest
Tim
Steph
Duke
Dick
Damian
Jason
shortest
Tim: how does that make you feel jason :)
Jason: i will throw you down into the cave, dont think i wont
Steph: oh Hey im second tallest :0
i imagine Bruce pavloved himself into absolutely wolfing down any snacks he was snacking on the moment he hears any of his kids nearby
Tim, subtly eyeing Bruces banana chip snack: Bruce, can you sign some of these documents for WE ? kinda important.
Bruce, places the snack down and grabs the documents: sure
Tim, grabbing the snack and running out of Bruces office: yoink Bruce: :O ?
----
league meeting
Cass and Damian taking turns to see which one can take a mid patrol power boost snack from bruces belt without notice.
-----
Jason, walking up to Bruce: hey
Bruce, eating a sandwich in the kitchen: hi
Jason, takes the sandwich outta Bruces hadn: thats mine
Bruce: oh
----
Bruce snacking at the batcomputer
dick and steph walking out the locker room
Dick: hey Bru-
Bruce, startled, shoving food in his moth: huh? yeah what is it?
Steph: what was that?
Bruce, coughing, struggling to swallow the food: what was what?
Dick: what did you eat? and why did you eat it all the moment we walked in?
Steph: eyah shy did you do that?
Bruce, drinking coffee to wash it all down: nothing, so what did you two need? :)
Jason: so i have to ask , why do the two of you taste drugs to determine what it is? like cant you wait until youre in a lab or something?
Tim: dick taught me how to distinguish between most drugs, blame him
Dick: ummmm blame Oliver , i saw him bragging about his methods being the fastest one day and the rest was history
Jason and Tim: huh 🤔
Dick: although, Alfred once told me that B also did that but stopped after a while, not efficient enough or something.
Jason: for the record, youre all stupid and i hope no one else in this absolutely cursed family tastes drugs to determine what they are
Dick, walking into kitchen: hey guys , any idea where Tim is? i need his help with this case.
Steph,painting Jasons nails (lost a bet): i saw him on the cave couch when i was down there, that what about an hour ago so idk if hes still there.
Dick: yeah but i was just down there and Bruce was napping there.
Jason: where else would he be? have you tried calling his phone?
Dick: he never answers his phone, he has some freaky mind powers for knowing when something is an actual emergency .
they sit in silence for a minute
Cass: wait you said Bruce was napping on the couch? didnt he just get off patrol with a heavy concussion?
more silence
Steph realsing: OMG
Jason,also realising : rip Timmy, concussed 210 pound Bruce decides when the hug ends
.
in the cave on the cave couch.
Alfred: you alirght in there master Tim?
Tim: its like a really heavy ,slightly bloody ,weighted blanket.
Imagine Eddie, of all people, playing Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream and getting obsessed over it. He makes a little Buck and is completely smitten over him.
Like he always makes sure his stomach is full, he has outfits. He had bought the full game when he made himself and his son. He gives his little Buck books to read, maracas to play with, and gives him workouts and such. Gives him a nice room and decorates his yard.
He gets frustrated when his own son isn't living in the same house as him. A quick Google search solves the problem. He has to build a relationship with Buck first. It's funny when his own Mii had fallen in love with Buck after a few hangouts. When they become Ultra friends, little Eddie tells Buck he wants to move in with him so they can spend more time together.
And boy, isn't that ironic? Cause when Chris goes to his friend's house, Eddie is home alone. He's been playing the game, but he misses the real Buck here.
He glances down at the game and finds a scene. Little Buck is cooking, asking for assistance from little Eddie.
Eddie laughs, cheeks red as the scene emulates real life.
"Hey, Dad, have you seen my switch?" his son asks him one day. Eddie freezes and looks up from his son's stolen switch. To be frank, he hadn't touched it in a while. He glances down, smiling as Buck stands on the beach, singing. Eddie managed to find a dog tail, and he can't help but love how well it fits little Buck.
He got distracted for a second and nearly jumped when his son appeared suddenly next to him. "Uh-"
Chris blinks when he peers at the screen, and Eddie knows he's been caught.
"Is that the new Tomodachi Life game?"
"Yeahhh..." Eddie says cautiously. He sighs when Chris leans in further and shows his son the screen a little better. "I somehow got really into the game."
Chris smiles. "It's Buck!"
"You wanna see who else I made?" Eddie says with a smile. He hooks up the console to the TV and shows Chris everyone. He's made Shannon, of course, then Abuela and Pepa. He's made Bobby, Athena, May, Harry, Hen, Karen, Denny, Mara, Chim, Maddie, and Jee so far.
"Wow, Dad, you've really spoiled Buck."
Eddie flushes. "Can't help it."
Dick: sometimes i eat popcorn out the bowl like a dog
Jason: yeah that sounds about right
Dick: i dont want my hands to get greasy and shit
Damian: is this why you get your own bowl? because you slobber all over the popcorn?
Tim, haunted: wa- was the bowl of popcorn on the couch in the movie room yours by any chance Dick? asking for a friend
Tim is forced to go on a vacation by whoever (Tam/Bruce/the fuckin universe) and it doesnt take long for pictures of him in vacation garb to circulate the internet , and the most eye-catching thing in these pictures where hes relaxing/chatting with a friend - other than his freakishly pale skin (vampire wayne family truthers are going strong) - is the large amounts of scars all over his arms and legs and anywhere a suit usually covers, burns/bullet wounds/ road rash scars/ and the good ol blade scars,
now everyones panicking, throwing speculations and theroies on why this young CEO is covered in scars -maybe a illegal fight club / or shady friendships - but that all egts quickly debunked when gotham citizens are like "oh i have a scar like that on my arm, i got it during a scarecrow attack" and another is like " OHHHH Tim was the wayne at the bank i work at that got shot up last month"
and it doesnt take long from there for more stories to pop up about how living in gotham is a sure-fire way to get scars and that anyone living there has at least a couple and those that dont live under VERY heavy rocks
during family dinner:
Bruce: Clark called me earlier today , Tim , can you tell me why he told me to talk to you because something you said made him sad and now hes sulking ONTOP of the daily planet..?
room goes silent, everyone is very obviously trying not to look like theyre listening in for drama
Tim: he shaved finally and i called him bald and i guess ‘bald’ is a trigger word for him cause he immediately started talking about not wanting to look like Lex .
it is april 1st.
Dick: i just walked past B and he said 'April fools' to me, smiled and then left, what did he do? do i have something on my face? am i missing something?
Jason: he texted me april fools and a ' :P ' emoji, im disgusted.
Tim:, i hate not knowing anthing,
Barbara: same, he didnt write his prank anywhre so i have no idea on what hes doing
duke; maybe hes gonna do it during the night job? getting you all paranoid that he wont do it then cause its 'unsafe' to play pranks in the field?
steph: nah i dont think he'd do that tho, hes too paranoid incase something went wrong.
Damian: if father was worried about night job emergencies, he wouldnt send me back early every time catwoman shows up to 'discuss' matters.
Cass: :)
----
Alfred: so what is it this year?
Bruce: i thought it would be funny to have them think im gonna do anything this year and then prank them tomorrow.
Alfred: you never change, mischievous as always.
why Jasons goons prefer being called henchmen
guy 1: god its tiring having to deal with the bats and regular goon work
guy2: woah dude we do not say that word around here , if you must describe us , use henchmen/guy , or even minion, but none of that goon shit.
guy1: why? its just a word to describe our work position?
guy3: you would NOT want to be called that after learning why all the young bats have been laughing at anyone thats calls themselves a goon , eugh
elsewhere
Jason: alright. which one of you told my guys what “goon” meant ? the goonion is literally voting on a new name and all the options suck
steph: pft i wonder
duke: yeah, heh
tim: damn goonion was such a good name
damian: it was Dick
in the batcave, Tim is ontop of the dinosaur , threatening to end it all .
Dick is trying to coax him down gently.
Duke, just arrived afetr eharing the comotion: why is tim trying to kill himself again?
Damian; he was going through the Drake estates belongings and found his mothers diary
Duke; okay?? what was in it that was so devastating? Bruce: Damian maybe don- Damian: his mother wrote that she and her husband ,Jack Drake, had a threesome with Father and its a possibility that Timothy is Fathers biological child.
Jason and Steph who were watching/recording burst out laughing again.
kinda a continuation of this one :)
Jason, just chilling in the batcave, working on his helmet /weapons/some other thing
tim: Jason
json, startled: Hu-WhA!?! when did you get here
tim: jason
jason: what?
tim: why did i have to find out through email notification that you updated that one superbat fanfic
Jason: ah yeah, after that stakeout i thought it would be funny to update it and say in the notes that i died and then got kidnapped into a assassins club and then i had become a crime lord
tim: ….. you werent really subtle with details so anyone that lives in gotham knows its redhood that wrote the fic
jason: shit really? damn my street cred is ruined
tim: what street cred? you ate shit last week tripping over nothing infrot of your goons
jason: dont call them goons, they prefer henchmen
before christmas/somones birthday/or somehitng else that requires gifting things: TIm,in the batcave at the bat computer , vigorously researching and writing something in a THICK notebook(also his legs broken so hes benched and on comms casue he cant be stopped). Bruce,coming back from patrol: tim, what are you doing? you definitely havent gone to sleep yet since yesterday morning.
Tim: im adding things to the point book
Damian, side eyeing : the point book?
Tim: the Point book
Bruce: .... Tim what is the point book?
Tim: its a book i put things in and how much -in a point system- someone likes that thing and if its good enough a gift for them.
Jason : he may be on the spectrum a little bit, but hey who in this family isnt
somewhere, maybe in the watchtpwer : Clark: nightwing , i hate to ask ,but Dick: yes? Clark, takes a deep breath, hand on his mouth doing the 'mom' pose: why... why is you whole ass blue? and a little bit of your upper body but thats beside the point. Dick, delighted: OH do you like the new fabric i used, it turns a different colour when stretched and i chose blue :3 Clark : are any of the other bats *cough* batman *cough* also using this fabric orrrrr???? Dick: what, did you say batm-
Barry, speeding in: HOLY SHIT GUYS, you wont belive what i just saw Bats wearing context:
on comms, during a stakeout ,,probably:
Tim: okay so i think a moment that REALLY shaped my brain was reading a superbat hate-love fanfic a week before becoming robin and then years later learning that Jason was the author and the reason the updates stopped was because he died. Jason: i only wrote it was cause bruce pissed me off a lot , i had started one where i made him get pregnant , it was a batman x bruce wayne too,,,,,, i wonder if i still have the draft somewhere.. Barbara: you know what. this explains why you two are they way that you are Dick: was it batman or bruce that was pregnant? Jason: why do you want to know..? Barbara: answer the question, coward part2 kinda