Resham Arora

•I hope your sky has lighter clouds today•

[unwelcome-ozian]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Image description: "Doing nothing is doing something. I'm glad you're resting, restoring, recovering, day dreaming, decluttering your mind, practicing stillness, breathing, reconnecting with yourself, and taking sacred pause" written in a tweet by drthema

[reshamarora]

Feelings are funny - they never stay the same.

No feeling is forever no matter how badly you want it to be.

One day you can feel something, the next day you won’t. Today you can feel the biggest heartache you’ve ever felt, you can feel as broken as you think is possible, but in the next few months you won’t feel a thing.

One day you can call someone your everything and in a few years they become a stranger again. And the saddest part is that perhaps you won’t feel sad anymore about them.

One day you can feel like you’re incapable of living without someone, but maybe then you’ll miss that person a little less every day and eventually you won’t anymore.

Feelings are funny - no matter how badly you try to avoid them, they come to you still. They have no shame and no boundaries. They will haunt you forever and they don’t know how to make up their mind.

Feelings are funny - they are a blessing and also a curse

♡

[reshamarora]

Body shaming men for their height, not being muscular or being skinny is still body shaming and all body-shaming is wrong.

When we think about ‘body shaming’, we usually tend to ignore the other end of the spectrum, ie, body shaming of men. Even mainstream media doesn’t pay as much heed to it because of the societal norms that set up more powerful beauty standard bars of women, as compared to men.

Men, too, are not free from the tight clutches of body shaming. It leads to self-criticism, self-doubt and plummeting of self-esteem.

Ridiculing women for their weight is body shaming. And so is ridiculing men for their structure. The concept is not sex-specific. Just like that it is not right for anyone to shame each other for skin colour, size of the breasts, etc., it is not okay to shame men for their height, body, etc too. It goes both ways.

We get provoked when men display affection for a thin waist; a justifiable move figure. But what about women being picky about the height of a man and his muscular structure? Does that not count as double standards?

We forget that the latter is equally degrading. We forgot to realise that this also leads to body shaming and dismantles body positivity. Clear the cloudy perception that this phenomenon is exclusive to women.

Our value doesn’t lie in how our body looks!

“It is as hard to be Ken, as it is to be Barbie!”

♡

[reshamarora]

It’s okay if you can’t do something

There is so much “positivity” surrounding the idea that you can do anything. No matter what. Regardless of chronic illness, mental illness or whatever else. You just have to put your mind to it.

And you know what? That’s bullshit. There are things we can’t do and we will often feel ashamed or harm ourselves trying.

Even if someone else with a similar experience can do something, it doesn’t mean you should automatically be able to. Even if you could do the same thing yesterday, it doesn’t mean you always have to be able to.

Sometimes you can’t do something

And that’s okay.//

♡

[reshamarora]

Here’s to the people whose trauma did not give them thick skin, the one who became more sensitive and insecure, who cry more easily, who get overwhelmed at small things. I’m so tired of the narrative that trauma makes you tough and untouchable. We’re survivors, not superheroes.//

♡

[reshamarora]

Sometimes there’s a big hole in your soul and that’s just the way it is and you have to fill it up with songs you love and people who make you feel better and towels in your favorite color and socks that feel just right on your feet and even then sometimes part of you will leak out and other times it’ll all gush at once and you’ll feel like you’re fighting a losing battle but the fact is every time you flood you just pick up the pieces of all the little good things around you and start laying the bricks over again and yeah it’s too bad there’s got to be a hole in the first place but that’s life. Sometimes you babble and ebb and flow and burst but your soul is part of what keeps the world alive and it’s really just amazing you’re here so don’t worry that the sadness never fully goes away. I’m just really glad we exist. The world is full of everyone and I’m happy that includes us.//

♡

[reshamarora]

Respect triggers, even if you find them weird. Respect triggers that don’t seem normal or understandable to you. Respect triggers that you don’t expect to be a trigger. Everyone's trauma is different, triggers could be simple things, big things, anything, everything. You don’t get to decide what is and isn’t a trigger for someone, and if you hit me with the "but I don’t see what’s so bad about this thing" of course you don’t, it’s not a trigger for you because you do not have the same trauma they do. Respect all triggers, even if you can’t understand why it would be a trigger, because it is harmful to that person with the trigger and the last thing they need is to be hated for it.//

♡

[reshamarora]

You’ve got a whole life ahead of you. I can’t count on my fingers how many times you are going to look up at the sunset and smile, feeling oh! so warm. There are days when you are going to feel so unconditionally loved in the presence of people you deserve and who deserve you. You are going to be recklessly loved and hopeful. You’ve got days of peace ahead of you, there will be good things. However, realize there will be tears. There will be confusion and fear. You may even be experiencing some of that darkness now. This darkness, which inevitably will appear, is not a sign that your life is bad. This darkness is just an obstacle. It’s something that tries to turn your eyes away from the bright days to be had. Keep your eyes towards the sky, keep your heart towards the love. Keep going, better days are ahead.//

♡

[reshamarora]

Things 2020 taught me:

- Life is discovered, not planned. no matter how much we believe we can control it, we can’t. It is as fluid as a water stream and we should learn to adapt to it.

- People may misinterpret your intentions and when they are so wrongly convinced, it is their problem, not yours. People who know you by heart and love you, wouldn’t do it.

- If you don’t like the conversation, break it. If you don’t fit in the circle, leave it. If you are in conditions that do not suit you, speak up. There is a big difference between being polite and accepting injustice.

- Not everyone you meet is meant to stick around. It is absolutely beautiful to reach out, but getting disappointed when they don’t can be avoided by setting your expectations correctly and not changing the way you treat them.

- It is essential to dream and have something to look forward to. It is what lights a fire inside us and keeps us going.

- People having different dreams and goals than you is absolutely normal but it is crucial that you understand and support each other and sometimes you can help each other out.

- There is enough space for everyone to shine and if your success is provoking others, change your attitude. Make your light contagious, giving permission for everyone to show their light as well.

- Cherish your friends and family as much as you can while you still have them in your arms.

- Give love a chance.

Happy New Year 🤍

♡

[reshamarora]

This is life. People will screw you over. You'll fight with your family. You'll witness things that will change you forever. You'll blame new lovers for the things old lovers did. You'll lose best friends you thought will always be there. You'll come to realise that everyone has a past. You'll cry, you'll laugh and you'll embarrass yourself. But then, you'll find your very own moment where none of that matters, where you can sit back and realize that crap happens to the people who can handle it and that this is who you are, and that no one should want to change you, including yourself.//

♡

[reshamarora]

Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.//

♡

[reshamarora]

Why do people never talk about the part of depression when you just don’t want anything anymore? Everyone talks about when it hurts like hell, when you cry, when you cut, when you take drugs, when you break down.

But no one ever talks about when you just lay down in your room, with a hole inside of you which you don’t know how to fill, and you don’t want to do anything even the things you usually like. So you just spend your day kinda waiting for it to end. And it’s horrible because you feel empty and guilty for that at the same time.//

♡

[reshamarora]

My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.

- Maya Angelou

♡

[reshamarora]

Your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Someone still giggles when they think of that funny thing you said. Someone still smiles when they think of the compliment you gave them. Someone silently admires you. The advice you give has made a difference for people. The support and love you've offered others has made someone's day. Your input and opinions have made someone think twice. You're not insignificant and forgotten. Your existence makes a positive difference, whether you see it or not. //

♡

[reshamarora]

You are beginning to understand, aren't you? That the whole world is inside you: in your perspectives and in your heart. That to be able to find peace, you must be at peace with yourself first; and to truly enjoy life, you must enjoy who you are; and once you learn how to master this, you will be protected from everything that makes you feel like you can't go on, that with this gift of recognizing yourself, even when you are alone, you will never be lonely.//

♡